#18: Procrastination
Tina Marie talks procrastination. When we procrastinate, how do we re recognize procrastination? How are we doing it? And what's it look like?
Hello, and welcome to light your life. I'm your host, Tina Marie. And today we are talking about procrastination. Have you ever had trouble persuading yourself to do the things you should do or would love to do when anyone procrastinates, instead of working on important, meaningful tasks, they find themselves performing proverbial rituals? And what we are going to learn today is being okay with a mundane or energy-neutral life. Seneca says while we waste our time hesitating and postponing life is simply slipping away. So today on the podcast, what we are going to be diving into is when we procrastinate, how do we re-recognize procrastination? How are we doing it? And what's it look like? So it can be honest with ourselves. And third, we're going to dive into what can we do to overcome procrastination? Thank you again for spending your time here today and listening to this podcast light your life is here for you to increase the effectiveness of your life and become that contributor to the positivity of life that you know, you are.
If this touches your soul, please do share this podcast today with a friend, I have ceded our time together with some quotes on you, guessed it procrastination. And here's the first one. It says procrastination is like a credit card. It's a lot of fun until you get the bill. I really liked that one and unfortunately resonated with it. So truth be known. I procrastinated doing this podcast. You can even ask my team. So this was on our list at the beginning of the year to have as a topic because it comes up often in coaching. And I like to research and script and pull things together in a meaningful way prior to airing the podcast. And so what did I do? I procrastinated on pulling all that research together until right now. So, you know, I'm not immune to it. I just simply know how it works.
And so hopefully the techniques and strategies I use to overcome my own procrastination today can help you. Sometimes the opportunities can be at our fingertips, those things that we know, we have energy toward. We want to jump on. We want to start. We want to begin. We're like, Oh yeah, this is it. Cool. And then we'll find that the energy waxes and wanes it drains, and we're lost. We are at the place where we're going. How do I keep myself motivated? And I find that inspiration again, how do I find that spark? Or do I just give up? And sometimes that just hesitance inside of our own head creates that level of procrastination. We just put it off. We put things off because of linear, right? It's easier to put it off and go do something else. And we give ourselves excuses and mindset stories.
I know I do. I say, well, I'll come back to it when I have better energy or I'll come back to it. When you know, it all makes sense, what it's going to fit better. You know, maybe I just started that and it's supposed to be on this shelf. I give myself a really nice story, but the truth is anytime we procrastinate myself included, we're simply wasting time and we're wasting time that could be invested and moving that ball forward, getting that goal achieved and actually celebrating the win of us, doing what we've said we'd love to do and not waiting for permission from people not waiting to have justification on whether or not this is a good idea or not. And simply going for something that means something to us now, how do we overcome this fierce enemy, the fierce enemy of procrastination, let's see where it originates.
So to better understand your procrastination tendencies and the typical ones that are here in our culture and our mindset as humans, let's dive in and, and piece together what this is all made of. And then we're going to dive into how can we overcome this? I want to give you the best tools that I've used and learned. And, and it definitely, they definitely work, right? So first they don't want to set out and share is that procrastination is not laziness. It is not laziness. It is a strategy. It's a strategy that actually is meeting our needs, not in that work, right? So there are six human needs. And in the framework that we've talked about before here on let your life, the podcast is that the three human needs that are most foundational in our decision-making first is certainty and certainty equals safety. And if our mind is always looking for certainty, like figuring it out, getting it right, knowing how then we're going to stay stuck.
It's not going to be good enough. There. A certainty just drives so many of our decisions. And yes, we want to be certain about our safety, our physical, emotional, spiritual, mental safety. Yes. I give us that we need that, right? We need to have a roof over our head. We need to have money in the bank. We need to know. We can trust the relationships around us and the people that we hold dear to us. And those foundational things are our safety. We're not going to be physically harmed. We're not going to put ourselves in a situation where we're going to be hurt. So certainly has a level of need. However, the lower mind takes it way out. You know, like it wants to figure everything out, have a definite plan, have a guarantee, know that it's going to work. We're not going to waste time or money, and that it's going to get us the result that we can visualize.
And sometimes that vision changes like one day we'll have the vision of this is what the outcome is going to be. And woo, that sounds great. And then the next day, it's a different vision. That third day it's a different vision. And if we keep changing the vision and the result that we're going for, we're going to feel on energized. We're just simply not going to go for it. So when we procrastinate, we do waste time and time is so much our most valuable resource. We know this, right? And we, you know, procrastination mindset. So is this do something if it's wrong, like do something and stay busy. So we're going to be talking about that a little bit later here in the podcast as well, how busy-ness is not productivity. So as I said, procrastination is not laziness. It's simply a strategy to get our needs met.
The first need that we're getting met a certainty. And the other knee that we typically can get met in procrastination is significance. This is an interesting viewpoint into now, the lower mind can get the need of significance met through procrastinating. We give ourselves the permission to feel as though we're being mindful about something. We give ourselves permission to crawl out, making progress, because we want to get it right. And significance is another level of making sure that we are good. Like we're giving ourselves some type of significant time and making sure this is an important goal and we just fool ourselves. Right? And so any of those below the line needs that we're trying to get mad for you and I listen to this podcast wanting to overcome procrastination. We're simply going to move above the line and we're going to start looking at love and connection.
How are we going to love and connect with more people? How are we going to build our support network? We're gonna start looking at how do I grow? Because procrastination usually means that we're stuck in an old framework or old habits, old belief systems that are keeping us stuck. So in order to get out of those and escape their gravity, we must grow and learn something new. And that's why you're here. You listen to podcasts because you are dedicated to growing. And then the third need that we want to help heal procrastination with is contribution. Once we achieve the goals that we so desire, it's going to make us a better person. It's going to help us be more helpful to other people. And simply oftentimes by us doing what we say we're going to do and keeping our word ourselves, we are going to be a mentor, or someone's going to have a vision upon us.
That goes, I want to be like that person. So we're inadvertently contributing to the betterment of humanity across the whole. Sometimes people closer to us be it, our kiddos or our spouse or the people we work with. And definitely we're contributing to ourselves because we're keeping our word ourselves, right? So this is how procrastination sounds inside the brain versus I don't do anything, right. We're procrastinating from doing something, getting a check, Mark, making progress, right? So I don't do anything. So then what happens? We feel guilty. And whenever we feel guilty, what happens, we begin to doubt ourselves and our own abilities to get anything done or make any progress or be a success at any level. And whenever we doubt ourselves, then that leads to feeling helpless. I go, God, I can't do this. And then we exacerbate and exaggerate those stories inside of our heads, heads of us being less than that, us being not good enough.
And Oh my God, it's just like this hamster wheel, right? So if you have these tendencies, if you resonate with this or, you know, somebody who resonates with us, we're going to dive into how do we heal this? And I'm gonna give you another one of those procrastination quotes that I pulled forward for our podcast today. And it's, if you want to make an easy job, seem mighty hard, just keep putting it off. Right? So that's all right. If you want to make an easy job scene, absolutely difficult and challenging and so hard. We just keep putting it off because then that lower mindset builds a story around it. That justifies, Oh my God, this is just going to be too much. I had this lady in my coaching program and she specifically hired me to help her stop procrastinating. She's like, I know I have this tendency.
I just put things off. The piles on my desk are deep. My to do list is my enemy. I hate it. When people come to my office and ask me a question, because I don't have the energy to ask answer. Just the question in front of me, let alone everything that's facing me in a day. It was daunting. And so I said, let's go for it. Let's make things happen. And what we know is that progress equals happiness. And she was out of fuel and she was telling stories of making the task at hand seem absolutely hard. And it was simply because she put it off so many times it was like a record like the needle or record sitting down on that same story, playing it over and over again. And if we keep playing that song of procrastination over again, we begin to believe it wholeheartedly.
Right? So one session I started getting the emo. I understood her emo always commit to something and put on our list, which you already told me that her list was her enemy, right. Or to do list. And she'd put things on our list. And then I check in with her and she wouldn't be making progress. So the third session she came to my office. I asked her beforehand, I said, bring me your to-do list when she had a spiral. And it had to do lists in there in different notes. And I say, cool. So what would be let's let's look through it. Let's just read it to me. Right. And I was making a, post-it like a post-it list. I said, is that a really important thing that you need to get done? Like move progress. You have progress happen on that thing. Yeah. Oh my God.
And she told me why it was such a big deal for this particular thing on the list, like paying taxes, like getting her books over to our CPA and she's a business owner. Right. she had a team member that she knew she needed to let go, but just progressing. It becomes painful. Right? There are other things on her list and little things on the list. Also like sending a thank you card to someone or I forgot everything that was on her list, but there was, it's a mix of things that were important to our soul and our heart. She wasn't making progress them. So within maybe 10 minutes, we had a list of 10 items. And then I asked her, well, out of these items, how much time do you think you need to dedicate to this, this, and just went down the list, how much time?
And she might've told her, you know, it's going to take me about an hour or that one's going to take maybe five minutes that one's going to take maybe 10 minutes. And so I got an idea of how long she thought that amount of time would be needed or to address these items on this shorter list. You know, succinctly out of her big list, down into a posted in front of him. And I said, so what's the first thing you need to do for this one taking number one off the list. And she said, I need it. I need to call my CPA. Yeah. I said, okay, awesome. Let's call them. Let's do it. And she said, what? I said, like right now, you know, it's four o'clock, let's call him. He's still like at the end of a phone, right? Yes. Okay. Call him whenever you call him.
What one thing do you want to have come out of that conversation? Why? Well, I need to get more clarity on what he needs for my books. Okay. So I said, let's call him. And so we called and she introduced me and let me know that, let him know that we're sitting at my coach's table, which he found awesome. And I said, so help us understand you know, she needs this information. Why do you need this information? And he said, you know, the truth is I just need this report in this report. Cool. So do you have access to her books in her QuickBooks? And she, and he said, no, I would love that. Then I just pull everything forward myself. I don't even need to bother. Cool. Okay. So I said, and my client, I said, let's go ahead and give them access to your cookbooks.
And she's like, well, how do I do that? I said, do you have QB online? And she said, yeah. I said, we do it right here. So within five minutes, we'd call the CPA. We'd given him access, he's running the reports. He satisfied check mine. Right. And we do the same thing for all 10 days on that succinct list that she pulled forward that said, God, I need to get these things. Right. So what was happening there? One was just simply taking action, taking action in the moment and doing it regardless and letting that lower mind, not have the excuses of how difficult it's going to be and how long it's going to take. Yeah. And what all is needed. Just simply take action immediately. And by the end of our hour session, she had made progress on 10 things. She went out of that coaching session, completely high and going, I can do this.
This was not, she realized the pain that her mind had been creating. Right. So what else creates procrastination first? You know, that decision that it's just going to be overwhelming. The next is decision paralysis. So we live in a time. It's so awesome living in the time that we have right now, there are the number of opportunities out there. Oftentimes we'll get people that come to our coaching program because they want to learn what career to move forward. And they want to reinvent themselves. They want to take themselves to the next level. They know that they've been doing this and they could wash, rinse, repeat for the rest of their career, but they're bored. And so in saying, I just want to have life. I just want to do something new face was so many opportunities that are in our world and the ease at which we can one start a business, get a new degree, find the love of our life.
Yes. There's plenty of apps for that. Oh, dating people. Right. getting our health in order. There's so many ways to do it. It can be inundating overwhelming. And then what happens? We make a decision and then we start doubting it. That same thing right up here. I don't do anything or I do something. And then I start doubting in. If I doubt it, then I feel guilty. I started in this way. Maybe I'm wasting my time, my money. And if I don't do anything, then definitely feel guilty. I'm not taking any action. I start to doubt myself. And then I feel hell plus, it's that entire hamster wheel of procrastination. So today we're solving that decision paralysis is real. And we live in a society. That's very open to saying, I want to have, I'm going to make my own decisions. Live my own life, do what I'd love.
And we've built a culture and technology around the availability to do that. So how do we stop getting decision paralysis so that we can make progress and not keep the motivating ourselves? We're going to answer that question a little bit. Another cause of procrastination is that we want to make sure everybody else is happy before we are. Who could raise your hand at that one? Right? I don't want to make a decision. That's going to make somebody upset or, well, I don't want to make a decision and go in a certain pathway unless I have permission and understanding that bored with my decisions. I'm sorry, but that's another excuse mindset that completely fuels procrastination because what are we doing? We're trying to be certain. And that certainty equals safety, but safety overall, unless it's, you're avoiding a T-Rex. If you're avoiding a dog, that's about that bite you.
If you're avoiding a lion or a tiger or a Cobra or shark, something like that. Heck yeah. You need to make sure you're certain and safe. But the majority of the certainty of the safety that we pull plague our minds with is simply hesitation, procrastination, and a big excuse mindset, all tied in ago with a big story. And we need to solve that problem and stop it. Right? So procrastination, whenever we're trying to make sure other people's are happy or happy before we're happy is a total sabotage. Our mindset is we need to stop it, make you happy. First I give you complete permission to find out what would totally make you happy? What would you love? And you don't need to go making sure everybody else was going to approve of your decision. Think you're think it's going to work. You don't need their opinions.
You simply need to take action. The fourth enemy, the fourth enemy that fuels procrastination is perfectionism. Perfectionism. I want to get it right. Perfectionism is also known as the fear of failure. It's just a really nice term to it. And some people own perfectionism. Like it's a badge of honor as for like, I, you know, yeah. I have perfectionism. I have perfectionism drama. I'm like, I'm such a perfectionist. Okay. Drop the label off the identity. It's not serving you whatsoever in any way. It's keeping you stuck. And so it's also really the fear of failure. I don't want to fail. I don't want to be embarrassed. I don't want to be shamed. And so what do you do? Nothing. And this is, is the mother of procrastination. Perfectionism is the mother like the birth center of all perfectly. Okay. Fascination. So we simply need to tell the truth and go, perfectionism is an illusion.
It is a lie and there is no get ready to get ready to begin. There is no, I need to make sure everything's okay. It doesn't work that way. You heal procrastination. It's taken action and getting off the vision, the vicious cycle of trying to be perfect, right? To make sure it's all gonna work out. So if you've ever known yourself to be a perfectionist or wanting to get it done, right. Or making sure it's not going to fail and doing everything you can to make sure it's going to be okay, that's perfectionism and that's going to drain you. So here you go. Here's some antidotes to perfectionism, do something, even if it's wrong. And this is something my father said, just do something. Even if it's wrong, you'll learn faster. And then once you learn, you'll change, you'll make a new decision. Because if it didn't work, then you get to pivot.
You get to choose something completely new, or you won't know if it didn't work. If you didn't take action. So do something. Even if it's wrong. The next one is to know and absolutely tell yourself, eyes in the mirror. Perfectionism is an absolute illusion at the hungry ghost. It isn't true. And it's not a label you want to own stop saying it don't even identify with it. And done is better than perfect. Any day done is better than perfect any day. So here we go. This is another big one in our culture. People say I'm so busy or other people will tell you just looking at you. Oh my God. You're so busy. Busy is not productive. When someone tells me this, or I hear in conversation, Oh, you're so busy. I'm like, I'm productive, not busy because busy is a four-letter word around here and busy can make us feel important.
It's that significance need, right? I'm so busy. You know, you got to get on my schedule. You know, like I don't have any time. Let's get home for like two weeks to get on my schedule. What story are we really telling ourselves? The truth is the people that are not plagued by procrastination. People that are success and progress minded, you can get on their schedule the same day. You honestly can. They'll make time for things that are important. And they'll definitely make time for things that are going to help you move your goals forward and them move their goals forward. Whenever we live above the line in that love connection, growth and contribution mindset I'm is a resource. And it's infinite because we are honoring it. We understand how to use time to our benefit. We do not tell ourselves a story. I don't have any time.
If I could just have more time that doesn't come into our mindset. So we're healing that today. If you ever hear your mind saying, Oh my God, I wish I just had some more time. That's another excuse. That's the lower energy of, you're not a powerful person. And time is more powerful than you. Your to do list is more powerful than you. We need to peel back veins and find out what's really important and aim our time and attention toward that. So again, being busy, busy is not productive and being productive is going to add more energy to you because you're going to make progress in the important areas. And you're going to man, fricking work, just working, you know, it's awesome. So being productive means you're moving in the direction of your goals. And I had to adopt an organization system that really helped me prioritize my goals, the big goals.
There's lots of things that can have the attention. However, I make sure that before noon, I'm putting my time and attention towards something, that's going to have me feel absolutely on track. I'm progressive. I understand what those major check marks are. Those goals, that vision is getting fed in a beautiful, positive way before lunchtime. And in this organization system, I call it the results system that I use in my coaches use here at bonfire. Whenever we utilize that system, it can at the very beginning look like it's slowing us down because what we want to do is pull out the, what we call the little brat. That's tantruming inside of our heads saying, you need to do this. You need to do that. It's like, Oh my God, shut up. And so we pull everything out of that. Mine, that's just ping pong in there and causing this disruption and this pain and this, I don't have enough time mindset.
And then we organize things like I shared that I helped my client organize things. And we do that now organization at the very beginning, it will look like it's going to slow you down because we need to be mindful about it. But once you learn the habits of organization and utilize that it's total, it's like you're in a rocket, right? And your life completely shifts. It's absolutely powerful. And the last big piece of what procrastination truly is, and what's fueling procrastination, our thinking in an are doing is that we are typically for those that are procrastinating. Typically, in fact, I'd probably say 99.9, nine, 9% away from our big why we do not no, our personal vision, we do not have fuel and a big what's. What, why are we doing what we do? Why is it even on the list? What's the importance of it.
And it's not important because it's going to make us significant. It's because our soul resonates with it. And it's saying, Oh yeah, maybe this is who we are. This is what we're doing. This is where we're going. And in fact, huge win that's coming. Like for example, football team, well team train pre-season right. Trains hard. And if you've ever been in a team sport, yeah. You know, the sweat, the bruises, the cuts, the sore spots, the muscles that don't want to get out of bed in the morning. It's like, ah, but you do it. And you get out the next day, you get up the next day and you go to, to trading. And it's every day single day, I remember for you know, I was in a track team and we train four times a week, ARD hard. And yeah, it was painful yet.
Every morning I knew that I was part of a team. First of all, second, the vision that I had moving forward toward the goal of winning is what fueled me. I wanted to that finish line that through the finish line that beating myself on the clock that kneeling my body, move at that pace. No, my body was a machine and I was creating this. That was my fuel. And that's what it got me out of bed in the morning. Whenever my body didn't want to move first and foremost, whenever we are procrastinating for whatever purpose, whatever reason, whatever excuse mindset that's in there, I guarantee you're not in touch with your big vision. You're not in touch with the reason why any of these things are on your list or the reason why any of these uses of your time and resources matter. So if you do not have your big why and have your own personal vision of what brings you absolute joy in your life, you must, you must create that essential cause it will help you absolutely crush any procrastination tendencies that you have. So we wouldn't find out what motivates you first, what really motivates you. And I want you to understand what motivates you. And then we're going to dive into designing some really great habits and how do we overcome procrastination? So hopefully you're still with me. You're in this shoulders back chin up. So how do you personally get motivated? There are three types of motivation. The first one is extrinsic motivation. I call it bribery. So it's, you know, that care of the dangles in front of us that has us go for something.
And for a while, that may
Look like it works. You know, like I'm going to win a vacation. I'm going to, you know, set myself up in Barbados for a month. When I get there, I'm a, you know, whatever that outside motivation, carrot dangling in front of you is that's going to say here, run cohort, do it. And the truth is extrinsic motivation. 90% of the time does not work. It works for two, three, four weeks, and then it wanes and it does not stay. I remember I had I was in an organization that was going to give me a big vacation and a cruise ship thing and money and yada, yada, yada just wear my off for this goal. Right. And it also, it had a little bit of an intrinsic goal, you know, like you're going to be a good person. You're going to help so many people.
It's going to be awesome. You're going to feel good about yourself. They were blending those two extrinsic and intrinsic. And it helped me through, you know, like one of my, myself toward meeting this goal, I realized I can make the money and go buy the trip myself. And then I started saying, I don't even want to go on this trip. Like if even I have not had that much money, I wouldn't want to go there. So my lower mind started arguing with me on why we're doing this. Right. Have you ever been there? So extrinsic goals and goal motivation does not tend to work at all. So the next type of motivation is intrinsic intrinsic. It comes from inside of your yourself. It's self motivate. It's your big, why? Like whenever I was on my track team, it was the feeling of winning, right? It's the whole Rocky movie, right? It's those motivational videos and things that we listened to that are on YouTube and Instagram. And we're like, yeah.
Oh yeah. I feel that. And it resonates. It's totally energizing. Yeah,
Totally. Through our energy system, our nervous system, we can resonate with the energy that the other people have felt whenever they win. Right. And it's tied to a vision and a purpose. So that's great because it is your big, why intrinsically you're moving toward that. And that's combined with this next one. Holy rocks. It, so an intrinsic goal of the feeling of the emotions of the nervous system, response of winning and keeping ourselves in that energy state of the big, why, and winning paired with the third type of motivation. And that is goals. Goal-Based energy, the check marks, the celebrations, the checking it back and getting something done today. And that's why for me, those three goals to happen before I have to start out my day, this way, because of it, I start off my day and I put myself last or if I start off my day and other people are at my door, taking my time with my intention and I'm just doing whatever everybody else wants from me, my lunch I'm on my Philly crap.
I'm like, ah, man, and I've got to get myself in gear. Or like when I come back from lunch, I'm going to have to do this. And it's like, it became a half, two instead of a I'm. So in right, you felt the difference. Learning intrinsic self motivation, vision, big, wide passion, along with your goal-based drive and check marks organization, systematic, move the ball down on the field. Whenever those two get paired, you are unstoppable. So look at yourself. What type of habits do you really have? Even if we don't believe we have a morning routine, do you have a morning routine? You're just not calling it your morning routine because you're embarrassed by it. Whenever we have a morning routine and we'd go tell people about it, we're proud of it, right? Yeah, totally. I get up before five. I work out, I meditate. I eat a great breakfast. I take my vitamins. I give love to my pets and my beloveds around me. I read the day with energy. I appreciate the presence of the songbirds in the sky. That right, whenever we are proud of our morning routine, we're going to post about it. We're totally going to own it.
Then energizes you that you'd be proud to tell other people about and own and claim. You still have a morning routine. Your morning routine could be. I hit the snooze button three times. I get out of bed. Grumpy. My mind is going, Oh my God, do I have to really do this day? Can I just call in sick? I pull myself out of bed. I do what I'm supposed to do. I take my shower. It's not a big deal. Right? And you get to work. It's still a routine. How do we do it? What energy we put in our routines. You can have a routine of the organization of your day. And if it's not mindful and still a routine. So tell the truth. We've got to tell the truth to ourselves, right? And if we're moving our big goals forward, it requires energy and energy richness to wholly say, this is my choice.
Other people can give you suggestions. You're the one that makes the decisions on what you do. It's your life, right? So what do we need to change to overcome procrastination? Here you go. I got it for you. You can find out more about this on the blog at bonfire, coaching.com. So make it a habit. Subscribe to bonfire, coaching.com blog. And you're going to see this complete remedy and a worksheet for you on procrastination also at bond park, coaching.com. When you click on the podcast, which you're listening to right now and light your life, there is a transcription of this very podcast waiting for there. So what do we do to overcome procrastination? What do we need to change first? We need to be receptive. We need to be receptive to change. We need to say, yes, I'm doing this. I'm totally doing this. And it's only on your terms.
There's nobody else holding a gun to your head, to change your habits of procrastination. Nobody, nobody it's you. Right? So you simply say I'm doing it and you keep your word to yourself and you make at least one change. You commit to something, follow through, look yourself in the eyes and say, I did it. Check Mark way to go. We've got to become our own cheerleaders. And I think do this at the end of the day. In fact, there's some YouTube videos out there. The person that I share my life with had a video and a camera set up that I didn't see across the bathroom next to the tub and the candles there. And totally captured me doing my evening routine of telling myself how awesome I am. And then I absolutely love my life and that tomorrow's going to be a brand new day and we are going to conquer it claimant, right?
You start your new day, the night before. So be receptive to yourself and your habits. If you do not believe you have habits, you have habits. You decide to change them and stop punishing ourselves. When you stop punishing ourselves about procrastination like, Oh my God, I'm such a procrastinator. Stop. It don't even label yourself that no more labels simply decide to change and make that's all you need to do. And also, so stay consistent. Consistency is an amazing resource. Every day. Some people ask me, how many times do you work out a week? Every day I work out every day. It's just like, I'm not going to say you don't want to brush my teeth twice a week, maybe three times a week. If I have enough time, no, every single day, if you want to change habits and you want to crush this, you must stay consistent and dedicated, right.
Reward yourself, not get your, let yourself off the hook and do something. That's going to sabotage your new habits. But simply an album. Boy is good. Writing yourself a note like you crushed it. I'm proud of you. Sometimes we want that validation to come from outside of ourselves. It needs to come inside of ourselves first because once we develop that muscle of self appreciation and self validation and understanding that we are keeping our word to ourselves and we are doing what we say we're going to do. And we are meeting our goals, our goals, not other people's goals, our goals, our commitment to ourselves. Whenever we do that and we sell, validate, we build the muscle so that other people's validation can actually go and, and be useful. Other people are validating us and we haven't yet self validated. It just sort of bounces off.
Yeah. Okay. Yep. Thanks. Yep. Thanks for your appreciation. Thanks. It's for your acknowledgement, but it's not really going in cause you are not receptive to it yet. Right? And get support. You really want to crush bad habits, such as procrastination get support around you. People that see you on, or you respect you believe in you and want you to win. They want to help you and value them in your life because strong support, awesome people around us. If not appreciated, we'll stop. They'll stop doing it. And we can't do the whole, I'm not good enough mindset around them. We need to step up, step up and be or warrior man and receive it and go, thanks. I really appreciate your support. I really do. Thank you so much. I'm receiving your support. I'm using those filled today. It's helping me. I love it. Thank you so much.
Write them. Thank you. Notes. Send the little thank you messages. Because strong support around us is absolutely valuable. And the last thing, please stop comparing yourself to other people. Anytime we compare ourselves to other people, we procrastinate. It just feels procrastination. It fuels the not good enough. It fuels the, I doubt myself. It feels that I'm a failure. It feels that I'm helpless. It feels that why worth it, right? Why is any of this stuff worth it? Story. It feels the sad story. So commit to yourself that you're not going to compare yourself, your life, your actions, your beliefs, your core values, who you are, how you look a big yard, how small you are, how rich you are poor, you are anything. You're not going to compare any part of you to anybody else. Now you can look up to people and say, I will reach that different power of you.
Find your thoughts, your actions, your words, comparing yourself. And then you feel immediately a little drained right afterwards. That is what I'm saying. You're going to stop. It does not add to anything. And it does not hope in your life to be a mortar. It is not an energy you need to own. So stop comparing yourself to anyone else because you are unique and you're owning your life in a whole new way today. So make yourself a promise. I want you to do this. It's a challenge. The day you're listening to this podcast. There's still time in the day. You're not asleep. And if you're asleep while you're listening to this podcast, help me understand how that works. And I'm a for supplemental programming, right? So you're gonna make yourself a promise. I will get three things done today toward my biggest goals. I will will capital w capital I capital L capital L.
I will get three things done today toward my biggest goals. And I will shift my mindset because I'm going for done. Done is better than perfect any day. So right now, you know, design your own. T-Shirt in your head I'm person that goes for done. And your three biggest goals are getting love today. Thank you for listening to this wonderful podcast today on let your life. I'm Marie eighth year. And I am the founder of bonfire coaching. If you know, in your life, you want somebody side-by-side running this race with you, celebrating you, teaching you these strategies day in and day out. And you're like, I've got these goals. And I know I want to crush them. You know, getting strong support around you is paramount. I have two coaches that helped me. I knew that left alone I will spiral. So I find the biggest baddest, most awesome coaches to help me go the distance. Right? And so you can hire a coach, go to bonfire, coaching.com, sign up for our free discovery session, learn more and subscribe to this podcast and share it with someone you absolutely love. Thank you so much again, and I hope you have a beautiful, awesome productive day here. Mercedes here. Check it out
Till next time. Bye-Bye.
