Happiness: What is it to You?

What is something you can’t see, you can’t taste or smell, but can’t live without? Happiness. Intangible, but necessary for a full life.

Individual and personal, we all strive to find enjoyment in life. No one can make us happy. We have to find the things that make us feel fulfilled and at peace. It is important to define and protect our happiness. It may be lasting or fleeting, but it involves living in the present.

By living for the moment, we allow ourselves to appreciate every day in a host of different ways. Perhaps the smell of essential oils brings sensory pleasure: having the calming effect of the lavender oil or peppermint oil, which helps with stomach ailments while bringing joy at the same time. Maybe the smell of a certain flower, roses maybe or magnolias, awaken the essence of wellbeing. The sight of a child as she glances up at her mother may quiet the spirits and bring back pleasant memories from the past.

Taking a hot bath at the end of a busy day surrounded by candles and soft music, may be just the right touch. Happiness is something different for everyone, and cannot be determined by others. It is about being comfortable in your own skin.

We have a rule in our house: We never take outside drama into the bedroom, where feelings should be individual and intimate. We can discuss the world’s drama in the living room or the dining room, but when we go upstairs, that all stops.

We don’t allow the end of the day to spoil our happiness. Instead, we strive for a peaceful and restful night.

In my life, I want to feel energized, fully present, and participating in life by tapping into myself. We are the only ones who have control over our emotions. I don’t want to ask, “Was I happy today?” I want to ask. “Was I kind today?”

There are several strategies for seeking happiness.

• I find joy in things I can touch and feel. It can be something as small as adding lemon or another refreshing fruit to my water, or perhaps some fragrant cut flowers in a pretty vase.

I love inspirational sayings, snacks, candles.

2. I make it a priority to create a daily list. I have a master list, and then I have a more detailed system. I have things to do before lunch, then a list for after lunch. Then my calendar becomes my do-to list. If I don’t do it that way, it becomes pressure and stress.

3. I need self-reflection, meditation, time to check into myself, my thoughts. Slow is the new fast. I once had a long walk between classes in college, maybe 20 minutes. Yet I was always on time, enjoyed the beauty on the way, and was never late. A fellow student stopped me and said, “I used to always rush in a panic to class, and I noticed you didn’t. Then I started following you and doing what you did, and I got there at the same time, only the walk was so much more pleasant.”

4. We also need boundaries so as not to be pulled into other people’s drama. We are bombarded with information all the time. It is important to live in the now, to be present to the beauty in life, to know who we are and who we are not. Life will guide you, but we determine how to find the beauty. If we look for the good, we will surely find it, and maybe, just maybe, that is where we will find our bliss.