#15: Tina Marie Speaks with Marissa Nehlsen, Founder of Freedom Financial Group

Marissa Nehlsen is the founder and CEO of Freedom Financial Group. She came from humble beginnings, which we're going to be diving into so you understand what that really means. A North Dakota farm girl, she has built a multimillion-dollar financial services company that is not an overnight accomplishment.

You're going to want to hear how she did this, but more so why she did this. She is an accomplished leader with absolutely proven results and her unique style, which I know you're going to fall in love with just as I have allows you to achieve extraordinary results and sustainable results in your life.

Transcript:

Hello, and welcome to the, let your life podcast, where we get to meet with people who have taken themselves from maybe the challenges and the things that we're up against them in life and face them with new strategy and method and thinking and surmounted the odds. So you get to put in your ear a story that's going to completely light your life in a whole new way. I'm so grateful to be your host, Tina Marie St. Cyr. And thank you for lending your time and your attention, your most valuable resources to us at this moment. I want to introduce my guests. The first thing I want to say is that she's a dear friend. I am so grateful we're having this conversation. Not just because I love talking to her, but because I know what she's going to be sharing is going to help you in your life right now, some way, somehow you were drawn to listen to this podcast and it is going to be absolute gold for you.

So Marissa Nielsen, she is the founder and CEO of freedom financial group. She came from humble beginnings, which we're going to be diving into and piecing through today. So you understand what that really means in rural North Dakota, Dakota farm girl. And she has built a multimillion dollar financial services company that is not an overnight accomplishment. You're going to want to hear how she did this, but more so why she did this. She is an accomplished leader with absolutely proven results and her unique style, which I know you're going to fall in love with just as I have allows you to achieve extraordinary results and sustainable results on your life. There's so much we can say about Marissa. And what I want to do is use this time to dive right in, to have her be in your ear and in your heart and in your soul with her wisdom. Marissa, thank you so much for being our guest today on light your life.

Hello? Hello. And thank you, Tina Marie. Oh man. I have been waiting and waiting to be here with you. I've been so excited to, to come and visit with you. I know if you've been listening to Tina, Marie, you know, as I do that, she is a voice of wisdom and light in the world. And I I'm just so absolutely thrilled to be here with you.

Thank you so much. It is going to be a great time and it's going to pass so fast. What I want to dive into for our audience today, the people that are here, they know that they have reached certain levels. They've already surmounted odds in their life. However, there are the seeking seeds inside of us that want to become more. We want to grow. And one common thing that I hear so much across our audiences, we want to become more authentic. How can we have more vulnerability and in so doing have more strength and have more wisdom and have more presence. And our life stories lead us there. And so I love to start with your life story of where you found yourself in North Dakota. And what was life like for Mariska when you were young and what seeds were planted in your own character then?

Oh, wow. Well, so this I'm gonna take you way back, way back. So it was, it was the 1980s and my dad came in and he was mad. And my dad, my dad was a tough guy. He was a tough farmer. He came in and, and he had the shotgun in his hand and he lined us all up and nearly blew blew a hole in the ceiling of our home. He lined us up and he, he threatened to kill us all that day. Oh my mom. Yeah, my mom, my mom was a bad-ass. My mom is an on fire woman. And in that moment after years of beatings and after years of mistreatment she said, you know what, never again, never again, never again, will a shotgun be pointed at my children. And she in the middle of the night, took us out with backpacks and clothes on our back and moved us into a two bedroom trailer house in my, not North Dakota.

So my not North Dakota, if you are not aware, if you are wherever you're listening out in the world, it's cold here. It is cold in North Dakota. And it was a, you know, the winters there can get down to 30, 40 below. And we had nothing. We had absolutely nothing. And my mom said, you know what? We have nothing, but we have everything because we're safe. We have each other and we're going to work. We're in this thing together. How old were you then? 14, 14 years old. Wow. Yeah. So we went dumpster diving, grabbed an old nasty Brown couch out of a dumpster. And that was our living room furniture. My mom nailed blankets and towels to the walls and the doors and, and the, and the windows. And then she found an old kerosene heater and put that in the middle of my mom made everything fun, right?

Like for those of you who like to have fun, you shouldn't be my mom. She's 75 and she likes to have fun, but she, she took this kerosene heater, put it in the middle of the floor and said, you know, we're going to have a campfire in the living room. Now what she didn't tell us is we couldn't afford heat. So we couldn't actually heat the whole trailer where it was just the living room. We could heat. So had that. Right. Right, right. So she was, you know, the, you know, you know, it's like an act of God that we're still here because you know, the kerosene heaters in the middle of a trailer house, it's not, it's not a good idea, but you know, as we were watching TV and all the little kids were asleep and I looked up at my mom, she was laying on the couch one night.

She said, I said, mom, we're like those poor people they talk about on TV. Aren't we? And I said, but we're not, we're not just poor. We're really poor. Like, we're really poor. Aren't we? And she said, Marissa, we are poor. Yes we are. But you can choose to be a victim or you can be victorious. What will you choose your mom? I know, I know my mom's of spirits. Oh yeah. And she, she said it to me one time, Tina Marie, one time she said, you can be a victim or you can be victorious. What will you choose? And in that moment, it's like, this fire lit inside me and I, I, in that moment was like, okay, all right. And so I started literally, this started my personal development journey. I heard I, I went to the library at the school because we were poor. We had no money, you know, there's like nothing. So where do you go to get free stuff? You go to the library.

I love the library.

And this is back in the day when they actually had libraries with library cards, you know, that,

Do we decimal system that drawer? Yeah. I actually worked at our library just because it became my, I didn't know, but it was my daycare and my parents would make a sack lunch. They dropped me off at the library cause I loved to read and I ended up helping the librarians. And so yes, me and the Dewey decimal system are partners. I love how you did that. So you started your personal development journey there.

Yeah. And I, I got ahold of some books and you know, I was reading stuff like Zig Ziglar. Right. And, and I heard this quote by Ziglar, you know, if you help enough people get what they want, you can have your heart's desire. And I was like, what does that mean? And then these things were kind of rolling around in my head. And then at 17, I went looking for love in all the wrong places, you know, single, single mom trailer court, eight kids, poor, you know, pull out the violins at this point. Right. It was that's the life. Right. And I, it's interesting because I, I believe today, Tina, Marie, we have a, we have an epidemic around us and people like you, people like me, our community of people that, that say there's more, there's more. And I, I can be the best version of myself. There's an epidemic of poverty around us. And I'm not just talking about financial poverty. I'm talking about mindset, poverty, who you listen to matters. You're listening to this. It's not by accident. Completely. Thank God you're here. Like welcome questions,

Exactly the words we put in our mind and allowed to be in our, our, our sphere of influence are the very tenants that we create our life from. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes it's hard, isn't it Murcia to, to, you know, if we're, if we're at that place, I'm so grateful you had a positive mom. That's amazing. However, some people aren't so lucky to say when I'm on this personal development journey and I'm learning about positivity, I'm learning about this emotional, mental, spiritual aspect of my own becoming that we can then go, okay, well, I'm just going to cut the cords to all these other people that are around us because well, maybe that person isn't as positive and maybe our someone who isn't on the same pathway. Do you have any advice for people that find themselves in this dynamic and how to stay the course?

Yeah. Well, two, two things I would share with you on that. One is boundaries and the second one is forgiveness. And I think they go hand in hand you know, we have to get real number one with ourselves, and then we have to get real with people around us. And that's hard because we wear these masks. Like I remember going to school and nobody knew that I was really, really poor. I would have to bum rides to get gas for car for the school, you know, to get, actually get to school. And I did the free stuff in school, like you know, speech and debate Playmakers, like the drama team. I did that kind of stuff cause it didn't cost us any money. So people didn't really know I was poor per se until they dropped me off at the trailer house.

And I think we all wear a mask. And then those things that define us. So when you speak about, you know, the community is we're on that personal growth journey. I was reading stuff in that library and I was, I was growing and this, these, these tapes we play in our head. When my mom said, you can be a victim or you can be victorious. I'm going to ask you what tape are you playing in your head and who you listen to matters as well because they play a tape in your head. And so first step is get real with your, with, with yourself. And that's where I had to get real with me. When I was 17, I got pregnant and I had to get real. And I looked down at this pregnant belly at 17 after I went looking for love in all the wrong places, you know, that old song looking for love anyway I won't sing it. I won't sing it. I'll say I'm going to save all of you listening today. I will say.

And, and that younger version of Marissa, you were looking for love because that was something that your heart, we all want love. And, you know, you know, looking back on those decisions we made, we come to terms with that and take the best parts of ourselves forward. And so tell us about that young teenage mother looking down at what she was bringing to the world. Yeah.

Well, I had a decision to make, and I knew at that moment, you know, reading these things, hearing these things, I didn't have people around me that did personal development. I didn't know anything about it. I just, I found this book in a library, right. And I looked at my belly and said, I've got to do something fast. And I got to do something now because I am a, I'm a senior in high school who has not yet graduated. I'm going to have a baby in November of my senior year. What are you going to do? And I knew that if I would be living two doors down from my mama in that trailer court for the rest of my life, if I didn't do something fast. Right. And so I, I finished my high school. I went to the teachers and I said, can you please just give me the teacher's manuals? I'll go home. I'll do all the work. I'll test all the way through, but I need to, I need to graduate before my baby's born beautiful. And, and they did, I begged and I pleaded and I did. And they did. And, and then, you know, what do you do when you're 17 in North Dakota, farm kid you get married. That's what you do because that's what you're supposed to do. Cause you get married.

Is your program in the program doing what I'm supposed to do. Right. Exactly.

So I, I have this baby and somebody gave me a chance. They introduced me to an opportunity and I started my mil multimillion dollar company from the basement of my home with $5. Wow. But, but I will tell you the, what humbles me is I think, even think about it today is that anyone gave me a, anyone could see beyond what I was at that moment, even who I am now, I struggle with it today. I struggle with it today. You know, I run a multi-million dollar corporation. I travel and speak all over the world. I still struggle with it when I get on that stage. And I go, Ooh, pull the mask off, tell the real story, be authentic because this is the stuff that makes our community matter and gives other people a chance and gives you, gives me a chance.

Yeah. The more authentic we are in our life, the, the greater humanity becomes the more heart-centered and soul-centered we get to live from without these masks on. Why do you think it is? I know you and I have had discussions about this. So I'd like to share it with our audience. What do you think it is that we live seasons of our life with masks on what drives that? Not that we want to, you know, be ashamed of that or be embarrassed of that act because it's, it's useful. From your perspective, why is it that are seasons of our lives, our versions of ourselves that live in that particular way?

You know what, for me, and maybe this is true for some of you that are listening or many of you that are listening too. But I had this vision of my life, of what it was supposed to be like, like where I grew up. I mean, and where you grow up matters, right? Like who you listen to matters, who you're following matters, who speaking into you matters. And so I, I looked around the world and this is what people do. They, they, they go to high school. They, they get married, some of them, or they go to college and then they get married and then they have babies. And then they have two, 2.5 children and they live in a white picket fence house and they drive two cars. One of them's a minivan and the other one's an SUV. And I had this, no, I'm not kidding.

I literally had like a chair. I ended up checklist. Tina Marie had a checklist of, okay, by 25, I'll do this by 30. I'll do this by 40 I'll do this. I had the same checklist. Right. I had this checklist and I was like, and then, you know, then years later then years later, I ha I look around and I'm helping everybody get financially free. I'm helping them achieve their results in their life. They're, you know, my, my clients are getting what they want and my clients are moving forward. And I'm talking to them about their hopes and their dreams and their goals. And we're building a plan and we've got this guided planning system and we're saying, Hey, take your life back business owner. You can do this. And you can take your time back and you could take your dog back and you can take your life back and your money back and you can keep more of what you make. And I'm all excited, right?

Yeah. You're doing your job. What you signed on to do with your company and building your company along the way? Yes.

And I looked in the mirror and I was about 65 pounds overweight. My spouse was stepping out on me. My kids were in shambles. I had teenagers, things were in, I looked in the mirror and I hated my life. I hated, I hated what I saw. I hated who I was. I hated the mask. I would plaster a smile on my face and I would go walk into that conference room and I'd be like, let's get it done today. All right. What are your hopes and your dreams and your goals and your values, and let's go forward. And it was helping everyone else around me, get what I want, because I heard this executor quote, right? Like help them get what they want. You can get what you want. But the problem with that was is I wasn't living authentically. I was in a Loveless marriage, checking the boxes off from all the things I was supposed to do and, and dying my soul was bleeding out.

And I don't know if you've been there before, if you've ever, if you've ever, and I've worked with, I've worked with people that are just starting out, starting as entrepreneurs, and I've worked with 102 hundred and $300 million, you know, clients today. Right? So, and, and, and I will tell you that we have an epidemic and it is poverty. And it's poverty in these areas in your emotional life and your spiritual life and your physical life in your financial life. And I had it on every level. I had poverty in my life, every level, and I was rich. I was rich. I had money.

And there's a quote that I absolutely love is success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And I've been there too. You had all the check marks. You have all the trappings as I call it of this life. That once you achieve this life somewhere, somehow within that, they're supposed to be happiness, joy. And what we forget to allow ourselves to measure and dive into every single day is love true presence and love is so much more valuable. Your mother taught you that in the middle of a trailer and with the kerosene stove. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I, I, I call them my never again, moments and living authentically is being humble enough and taking myself out of my own way. You know, humility, humility for me is, is an act of authenticity. And authenticity is an act of humility because when you can get out of your own way, get out of the story in your head, get out of the, the mask we were in the vision we were. And you can actually say to yourself, I'm going to have a never again, moment. And I heard a quote. It was one of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt. She was a bad-ass. I love, she was a bad. I love that. I love her. I love her change, world changing, no matter what did you know? I just love her anyway. So she said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Correct. And I remember hearing it for the first time Tina Marie and I literally just sat. I literally just sat on my couch and I cried for a solid hour. I was like, you're inferior. You're never going to amount to anything. When your dad, when your dad beat you, when you were a little girl and said, you stupid ugly girl. I remember the beating I got when I was nine years old. And he was kicking me and kicking me and kicking me with these steel-toed boots. And, and he, and he said, you're never going to amount to anything. You're a stupid, stupid, stupid girl. And I remember standing up in that moment, like there was this voice in my head that said, get up, get up right now, get up. You've got to get up. You've got to get up right now. And I got up and I put my finger up and he was six foot seven.

My dad was a big guy, six foot seven. And I was nine years old, little P little pigtails in my hair, Brown haired, scrawny thing. And I pointed at him. And I said, if, if you touch me again, I'm telling everybody, I'm telling everybody, I'm telling everybody who you are and what you do to us. I'm telling everybody, I'm telling everybody what you do. So you better just kill me. And he took a step forward and I was like, Oh, sweet baby. Jesus. I'm dead. Like, he's taken me out. Right. But he, he took a step forward. He looked at me as I pointed my finger right. In his face. And he turned around and he walked out of that room and he never, never beat me again. Pivotal moment. Yeah. And it was a day that I had to take off the mask. It was the day that I had, and I don't know, I don't even know where that came from. I was nine years old. And I just think, thank you, God, thank you God, for that moment then.

Yeah. And it, it, it was the change-maker in our family. When I would walk into a room, he'd stop beating my mom. When I would walk into a room, things would change. And so I would ask you, when you walk into a room, what do you want that room to look like? You know, any room, whether it's your bedroom, your board room, your bathroom, your whatever mirror, you're looking in, whatever room you want into whoever you're with. Because I believe very strongly that life does not happen to you. It happens for you, right? I believe that. I believe that. And I believe that these things can work together for your good, because when you change how you see things, everything changes. And you've heard this before, right? You've heard this before. We, this is just a reminder of things you've already heard, but being authentic in that time, you know, we're taught, Hey, we should keep up with the Joneses.

And we live this thing and you're successful if fill in the and blank. Right, right. But how come we're buying that line? How come we're, how come we're taking that story and make it that ours. How come and is that the story you want? So if you could start over today, if I could give you my magic wand, I'm going to give you my magic wand right now. Pick up your pen, right? Pick up your pen. Yeah. If you're listening and you're driving, sorry, come back and listen later. It's a good one. If that pen your magic, one is your pen. Write down what you want in your life, who you want to spend your life with, who you want to invest your life with what you want, what you want that life to look like, because we only get one life. And, and in that moment, you know, I could've lost my life.

My dad could have, I mean, he could have literally with one hand crushed my crushed, my windpipe. Right. I could be dead. Yeah. And for whatever reason, I'm on this planet today. Grateful, grateful, grateful to be here. And I, I would just ask you, is there a mask you're wearing that you want to take off and it's okay. It's okay. I'm let me, let me, let me set you free today. Yeah, please. It is okay to not, it is okay to not be perfect. It is. Okay. Not to show up perfect. Every single day. It is okay to have crap hit the fan in your life. That is life, everyone, everyone, everyone has something. We all have something. And your problem, whether you define it as big or small, we all have something. We all get the baseball bat of life. That sucker punches us from behind hits us in the gut, smacks us upside the head. We all have the baseball bat of life. And it's, what's created this poverty inside of us. If we allow it, if, if we allow it, but today you get the freedom to choose. You, get the freedom to choose.

So it sounds like there's a blending of two things that are being called forth. One is the truth. Yeah. Right. Facing the authentic truth facing that reality. It's not the facade. It's not that charlatan effect or imposter syndrome. It's, it's not things that you've thought were keeping you safe and keeping you relevant. It's the truth, the bare bones, truth of the situation and that humility like you speak of Marissa. And the second thing it seems like it's definitely being called for is courage. Yeah. That little version of yourself had a ton of courage in her. And I I've learned also that whenever we blend truth and courage, a whole man, there is so much power there. The untapped rawness of our own humanity.

You know, I can tell you when, when you step out in this area, it, it will take everything. Like it, it will take all inside of you to just continue to go forward. And, and then, and then one day you're gonna wake up and it's going to be okay. And I remember telling my story about my dad and my sister didn't talk to me for two years. And she said, I can't believe that you're airing our family's dirty laundry. And I said, I'm not doing it to get back at anyone. I'm doing it because this is part of a healing process for people that I'm working with today. That, that think that this is okay, that this is normal and it's not. And, and when, when I had, when I, I did a podcast episode on my divorce and, and, and for a solid 18 months, I had massive issues with my ex-husband and his wife. And, and, and just because I told the truth. Exactly. And, and there's, and there's fear in that because you think will, they love me, will they accept me?

And I would, I would just share with you that voice inside of your head, that asks you will, they love you. Will they accept you? You can't afford to not do it because it will eat. It will become a cancer in your soul when we don't live authentically. It is. I have, I have, I have mentored hundreds and hundreds of people over my career and spent a great deal of time investing in this conversation of man, when you get real with you and with them, that courage. I know, I know it's scary. I know it's hard, but if you stand up and speak to that giant, my dad was a giant to me at that time. I was nine. He was, I was knee-high to a grasshopper and he's six foot seven, right? Like, I mean, his boots were like the size of my entire leg. And so I think about in that moment, I didn't define it as courage, but that moment, that moment defined me. And it has refined itself over time because it becomes the stepping stone that I think back on, Oh, I overcame that. Ope, I overcame that and Nope, I didn't die. Oh, I overcame that. And what's the worst thing that happened. And it might be painful in the short term, but it's worth it

Completely. We grown so much and our truth does not need to be other people's truth. That's right. I mean, the truth that we have inside of our soul, and the moment that you said that defined you, was yours, your perception, the circumstances, the, the way you were being and feeling emotionally and spiritually in that moment is a hundred percent authentically. You oftentimes, it don't you agree that people want to get permission for how they feel or permission for their opinion of, of life before they just simply tap into themselves. This was my true, that need not be your truth. And I have, I have the honor respect and ability to convey and communicate my truth. Each one of us has our own opinion of that. And if we look in and my mother gave me two words, she said, if everything, you do the best to communicate, come from courage, which is the first and then kindness.

And so if we have kindness and courage in those communication moments, then that's of a higher order of communication. We're not trying to blame or defend or give excuses or try to make people wrong. When we come from this kindness. And I hear that authenticity, I hear that, that amazing moment for your life. And, and I've seen you define that in your business with all of the relationships you've developed and, and, and cultivate. Can you share a little bit of how that, that defining, I don't know, it's like your own mantra, your internal mantra has helped you become the, the beautiful spirit. You are now helping so many people through your business.

Yeah. You know, I, it w much of this has happened since, you know, in the last few years, since 2013. And you know, I was building all these, all these building blocks for my business over years and, and helping people and walking down that road. And then, you know, the wake-up call for me, the never again, moment was, you know, if you help, help enough people get what they want. That was one, these are, these are, these are turning points in your life. These are, these are what I call them as stepping stones, right. This was a stepping stone for me. I hope I got that level. Okay. Now I'm leveling up. I'm going to the next level. And, and so when I think about what's defined me in my business today is, is really, really listening and listening to their motives and listening to their heart's desire because people want to be seen and they want to be heard.

They want to know that they matter. They want to know that they're loved because we're missing this. And it's part of the poverty around us. It's this, it's this now we're dis we, we have more connections than ever before, and we are more disconnected than ever before. And there's this whole there's. I see it. I see this hole in people's hearts and they go, is this all there is I worked, I worked the last 50 years of my life. You're kidding. Like, is this all there is what the hell who sold you? That plan? This is crap. I want, I want, I want, I want such shine and flowers and fairytales and butterflies, you know, and I want rainbows with unicorns. And I got, I got hard work and, you know, a divorce and kids that hate me in life, life. And so, you know, I would share with you, one thing is I really help people validate where they're at.

And sometimes this is where we're always looking outside of ourselves for validation. And I just share with them, do not take my validation. Don't take mine. And when I say I help people validate where they're at, it's not me validating them. I help them define that in their world and say, what do you really want for your life? Where do your values meet your vision for your life? Do you ever find that people don't exactly know what their values are? Yeah. Yep. And we spend a lot of time with that and I asked them the question, what do you love? What makes you laugh, dance sing. What do you love? And if you knew, and here here's where this was huge for me in 2015 after my divorce and after I sold everything for a quarter, and that's a whole nother story, I'll share it again.

That was a good one. It was a good one. It's all everything. Baby grand piano. I kept the dog. We're fine. But, but, you know, after that I met I met someone and an ex army ranger, you know, amazing sparkling blue eyes, six foot, three, built like a brick house. I was mad at the world, bad at everybody, bad at where I was at. I was, I was doing well in my business, but the rest of my personal life was in total shambles and up in smoke. And he came alongside me and we laughed and danced and loved our way through the next two years. And then I get the call, baby. I can't walk. And I rush over to his house and I strap this huge man onto my back. And a few hours later, they tell us, Hey, James is full of cancer.

Oh man. And we're going to airlift you to a hospital, eight hours away. And he's going to have this massive surgery and he's probably going to die. He's probably going to die. And I was like, what? And the baseball bat of life smacks me again. And I remember him looking at me and he said, Hey, you know what? Cause I he'd asked me to marry him before. And I said, I'm not marrying you. I'm never getting married again. I'm not doing it right. Not happened in cowboy, not happening. And he said, Oh, you can't be the girl that doesn't marry the guy that has cancer. Right. So I said, okay, you know, let's, let's make a deal. We'll do that. Let's play the game show. Let's make a deal. If you walk out of this hospital, all married. Oh. And, and he wakes up from the surgery and they come in and he said, and they say to him, James, we're so sorry.

We had to put rods and, and all this stuff in your back and your neck and your spine. So we take out this eight inch tumor in your head to toe cancer. You, you will never walk again. And he says, no, sir, no, sir, absolutely not. You get me a Walker because I'm walking out of this hospital because this woman said, if I walk out of this hospital, she'll marry me. So you get me a Walker. And he did lapse the human spirit. When you really decide what you want. It is amazing. The stuff you can overcome. Yeah. So he gets a Walker and he does laps around that hospital. Whoa. Yeah. So a few months later, and I'm going someplace with this, Tina Marie. Yeah. A few months later, he says, baby, it's time for us to go home. And on Christmas day of 2015, I was, I, I'm a person of faith.

So take a deep breath. I'm not kind of convert anybody in person of faith. I take a pill. Yeah. But I'm praying over him and I'm like, please, God, just save him. Save this man. I just, he's such a great story. And he's a good person. And just to heal him, I know, I believe in miracles, I've, I'm a miracle, right? I'm a miracle. I believe in them. I shouldn't even be here today. I should be dead. My dad should have shot me. He should have beat me. He should have like all these things that should have happened that never happened. And, and he lifted my face in his hand and I was crying. I was, I thought he was asleep, just sobbing. And he said, baby, you keep praying for a miracle. But I already got my miracle. The day that I found you, I found my faith in Jesus.

I got a family who loves me. I know where I'm going. And so you need to make me a promise. You need to make me a promise that you will never waste a day. You will never waste a day. Don't you dare spend five years in a bottle. Don't you dare spend five years laying in your bed. You get up and you live, you live, you were born to change the world. You go live and you've never wasted a day. And this is the thing. This is the thing that I do with people every day. Mm. Love it.

So I'm gonna ask you, you know, are you, are you living life rich in that way? Are you wasting a day? Are you never wasting a day? Have you made a decision that you know what? Never again, like my mom had a never again moment. And with James, I had a never wasted a day. Again, never again. Moment, you have that moment in your life where there's a, there's a, there's a time when you can say, I'm going to have the courage in this moment to tell the truth, the truth to myself and to others and to live the life that I was born to live, to live the life that I create, the lift, the life of authenticity, the life that when I look at that, when I get up every morning, I look in the mirror and I go, man, I can't believe I get to live this life. And I'm living that life today. I'm living proof. Even after loss, even after all these things, in spite of it, I think, I can't believe I get to live this life. Yes. Because it's precious. And you, your life, what you do every day, who you do it with, who you do it for, you matter, you matter.

And no matter where you start. Yes. Yep. We start today to live more authentically, to live the richness that you you've. So coached us on Marissa, the richness of emotion and our own mentality in our spirituality and that depth of our being that richness inside. And we touch it a little bit more each day.

Yeah. You know, I had a, I had a coach that I was working with one time and he said, you know, if you just got up every day and just did one thing, just one thing better today, 1% better today, where would you be a year from now? Where would you be a year from now? Because we live this Groundhog day life. Right. Have you seen that movie Groundhog day? Remember that movie Groundhog day so painful, so painful. Right? Like, ah, and I, I use it because it's so painful. I lived the same day over and over and over and over and over. And yet people do this all day long. It's like the matrix, like we need to wake up or something, right? Yeah. Take the pill, take the pill. Because even though that is scary and hard and the truth is scary and hard.

If we can be 1% better, every for those of you who believe like I do that, I want, I want to challenge myself every day. I want to get up and live my best day to day. If this is my last day on earth, I can tell you, this will be my best last day on this planet. Yes. Because every day I get up and the first thing I would just share with you, it is, it is how you approach it. Because when you change, how you see things, everything changes. So gratitude for me is step one. Truth is step two and courage is step three. I love it. Yeah.

Powerful. I have a practice where I smile myself to sleep. And so even if I'm tired and exhausted or maybe didn't have the best of days where my mind wants to think back on things that didn't go well or tomorrow, all the things I have to do. I literally put a smile on my face, gentle smile, not like the forced teeth showing smile, but a gentle smile. And I feel my face smiling. And then the chemicals in my body respond to that has been scientifically proven the chemicals, the chemistry of your body change when you smile. And I smile myself to sleep. And whenever I smile, those gratitude thoughts naturally start being the stream of consciousness that I go to sleep with and I've practiced. And then train myself that when I wake up, I also smile myself awake with a thank you for a brand new day. Yeah. And if there's one discipline I can give people is smile more because I think it was like the superpower that we were given that we just don't tap into enough.

Yeah. And it's, it's, it's choosing joy. You know, I believe we have a choice every day I get up and I asked myself, you know, who do I see? How can I serve? And how do I make this the best day? Oh yeah. Right. And, and I have a line, there's a line. It's an it's, it's an above the line or below the line day. And every day, since January, 2000, January 9th, 2016, I've had an above the day line. I've had an above the line day. And, and here's the line. It's a good day. A great day or a growth day. Yes. And I had a coach that shared this with me, brilliant coach. And he said, he said, you need to choose the day. Are you going to have a good day, a great day or a growth day now, gross day. Here's how I define you know, a tough day, a growth day.

Did I have to bury someone I love? Hmm. Did I have to say goodbye today? Definitely growth. There that's a growth day. Right? Kinda everything else fits into the other two categories. And I know that that sounds kind of harsh, but you know, we've been through some stuff, Tina, Marie, you know, both of us come from, we come from nothing. Like no one handed us this life. We get to live. We had to do something. And I think that there's an act in this. We to do something different, to get something different, we have to do something different to become something different. We have to do something different to make a difference

Completely.

And this is, this is one of the things I just share with people. If you want to live life rich, you got to do some different because if you're not living life rich, now you got to do something different.

Simply ask ourselves some questions, right. That isn't what you want now, instead of making stories about what it isn't, it's like, what would you love? Like you already shared with us. And then what, one thing can you do today to move yourself in that direction?

Yeah. And this is, this is a focus thing. So I, I, you know, when you talk about smiling yourself to sleep or smiling yourself awake, or I talk about the three things I'm going to do every day when I get up, right. When I look at my day, it's about where our focus goes. And you've, you may have heard this before that, where your focus goes, your energy flows, right. If you're in this community, you might've heard that. And so when you talk about where your focus goes, are you focusing on the junk? Are you focusing on what you can do about the junk? Are you focusing about what this junk is teaching you? I look back at my junk and I go, I'm going to own every bit of it. I'm going to go, I'm going to own every bit of my divorce. I'm going to own every bit of my parenting skills that were not so great. I'm going to own my workaholic, that I was back in the day, I'm going to own the good things and the ugly things. Because those ugly things are a measurement. Now for me to teach myself to move forward, I get a, those are stepping stones, that ugly thing. Oh yeah. She'll be the ugly thing. Cause I conquered that ugly thing. And now I'm moving on to the next one. There you go. It's a part of you. Why resistance? That's right.

That's awesome. So many beautiful gems and you know, places of wisdom and our conversation today. I wish it could go on forever. I love what you bring to the world, Marissa. And I love all the clients that you get to work with and, and help see, you know, we can have another podcast on just money mindset. Oh yeah. The mindset we have around the richness in our life, every aspect of richness in our life is very paramount to the person we are now. And the one we're becoming thank you for sharing that with us. So I know that you've had some wonderful takeaways from this discussion with Marissa. I want you to, I want to tell you how you're going to follow Marissa and listened to her podcast as well and dive into the offerings that she has so many resource resources on your website, Marissa nelson.com.

I'm going to spell this for you and also at light your life there's transcripts here for you on this podcast with other resources that you can dive into from this very podcast. So Marissa nelson.com, M a R I S S a N E H L S E n.com. And you can find her on Instagram and Marissa Nelson. Her Facebook is also Marissa Nelson speaker and then Twitter, Murcia Nelson. And on LinkedIn, I love people's LinkedIn profiles because it's our professional side. There's so much there that we don't even get to brag about. You know, we are accomplished people. Why not put it on the front page and that find Marissa Nelson on LinkedIn, your podcast it's live life rich with Marissa Nelson. Go subscribe to that podcast, become a, an advocate of that and share that with your audiences in your circles, in the world, because we all deserve this amazing fulfillness in our life, the richness. And so if there's any last words that you would leave with our listeners today to have them understand the takeaways from today, what would you say?

Well first, thanks for, thanks for being with us today. I'm so glad you're here. And I know that it wasn't accident that you were here. This was an on-purpose for your purpose for your life, for your benefit for your greatness. It's, it's waiting for you on the other side of, of decisions that you make today. And I would ask you to decide today, decide, decide today, to love yourself enough. I know that that's heavy

Heavy. It's an invitation,

But love yourself enough to, to live, to live your life rich, to live your life in a way where you can be authentic. You can look at the world around you and say, no matter where you're at there, you know, others will be before you, otherwise, others will be in a different space than you in your mind, right? But we're, we're put in this world to do it together. I love community. I love together as better. And I believe very strongly that everyone you come in contact with and everyone that is in contact with you, we should leave these people better than we find them. We should be having an impact in their world. And I would just, I would do my prayer for you. My hope for you. My, my great hope if you will, for you today, is that you would know number one, you are loved and you matter.

And number two, that if you are not living the life you want that you get to choose this. No one gets your mind, but you, you get to choose this. No one gets to choose your actions, but you people say, well, I had no choice. And I go, no, there's always a choice. They might not be the best choices, but there's always, there's always a way. If I'm committed, there's always a way there's always, there's always a, there's always a choice I have in that matter. And I, I choose today to leave people better than I find them and live life rich in this way and, and choose abundance. Choose, choose you. You are worth it. So thanks for having me today. It was,

It's so great to, to have conversation with you. You always like my life a little more every time we're together. And so thank you listeners for being our audience do go to light your life and the podcast, subscribe and find out more@bonfirecoaching.com. If you're interested in how you can do this systematically in your life, working with a coach, simply go to bonfire, coaching.com. We've got great resources for you and do follow Marissa's podcast. It's the live life rich podcast with Marissa Nelson. And so thank you so much again until next time. Thank you.