#4: Leaping into the Unknown to Find your True Passion With Stephen Ridley

Description:

Having interviewed the likes of Richard Branson and Deepak Chopra, this interview with Stephen Ridley has become my favorite of all time. Stephen takes us on his journey of loneliness, fear, uncertainty, and courage to show us how we can move toward that which has been calling us to unleash our greatest gifts into the world. Journey with me through this magnificent story of a man who is changing our world through the gifts of music and sharing his new Piano Mastery techniques with all of us. mission to help us change our lives at work without having to change everything else.

Bio:

I grew up in a small village in South Yorkshire, England and began playing the piano at the age of two. My family came from humble means and my father died when I was fourteen. This greatly impacted all of us–I graduated from prestigious Durham University and worked with an accomplished team at a world-renowned Investment Bank. I walked out of this job to literally perform on the street to thousands in London. I chose to pursue a career I found personally fulfilling and re-immersed myself in piano, art and the power of music. I’ve played in over 60 countries and participated in events ranging from private functions for some of the world’s most wealthy and powerful, to the largest outdoor concert in Uzbekistan's history. I continue to perform live, and now have an on-line academy which can help students learn and experience the power and joy of piano and music.

Links:

Instagram:
- @stephenridley https://www.instagram.com/stephenridley/
- @theridleyacademy https://www.instagram.com/theridleyacademy/
Youtube:
- @StephenridleyTV https://www.youtube.com/@StephenRidleyTV
Linkedin:
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrstephenridley/
Website:
- www.ridleyacademy.com

Email all podcast inquiries to: hello@bonfirecoaching.com

Transcription:

(00:00:02):

Hello and welcome to Ignite Your Leadership, the rebrand of Light Your Life. I'm your host, Tina Marie St. Cyr, and like we always do, we sit together, we bring our attention, our focus to becoming the better version of ourselves. And I'm so excited to be sharing the guest that we have today because this person's been pivotal in my life over the last couple months in ways that I never would've expected. What I've engaged in with this person this year was not on my bucket list yet. It's completely transformed everything that I've been going for and all my goals and the way of being my mentality, my spirituality. It's just affected every area of my life. And I wanna share that with you. So the guest today is Steven Ridley. And if you have not heard of Steven Ridley, I'm gonna spell his name.

(00:00:46):

He's Brit. And so it's S-T-E-P-H-E-N, if you're not looking at the show notes, Ridley R-I-D-L-E-Y. And I want you to know that he has some gifts for you at the end of the, the podcast. Today, this episode, his story touched my soul. His passion is, is infectious in a, in a beautiful way. And his courage is what I want you to lean into, because he's done something that I believe many of us have had it in our hearts to say, I wanna make a leap. I wanna do something courageous and reinvent myself. Yet we don't take those steps. So Steven has performed in over 60 countries, and piano, if you haven't figured that out yet, you haven't, because I haven't said it. <Laugh> has performed in over 60 countries and participate in events ranging from private functions to some of the world's for the world's most wealthy and powerful to the largest outdoor concert in Uzbekistan's history. I wanna hear more about that today, <laugh>. He continues to perform live center stage at Ridley Academy. And really, academy is what has captured my heart and soul, and I've ignited new parts of myself. So, Stephen, thank you for being here today on Ignite Your Leadership.

(00:01:58):

Thank you. And what an incredible introduction that is. That was very, very, very lovely to hear. And aw, thank you for having me here. I love what you do. I love what you talk about, and it's a privilege to contribute, really.

(00:02:08):

Thank you. Thank you. I attended your masterclass. I'm gonna just jump in and give people some understanding about that. I, so we purchased an electric piano. It's a clave, Nova Yamaha. Clave Nova. Mm-Hmm. My wife hit her beautiful 60th birthday this year, and for her 60th, she wanted to have a clave Nova. Long story short, we own it now, <laugh>. And so I, I have this beautiful piece of art in our home, and I'm like, I wanna learn how to really play it. I'd had plenty piano lessons earlier in my youth, and then again in my twenties, because I had my children and I, you know, wanted to have them be abused as well. And so I said, okay, we're all gonna learn piano together. And it just didn't stick. It didn't stick, and it wasn't fun. And the metronome came out, and I had panic attacks.

(00:02:55):

And so whenever I was literally Googling, I was googling 'cause reminding myself how to read music, even though I know how to read sheet music, making sure I'm getting everything correct. I said, how do I read sheet music? And so I, I did that. Youtube pops up and you're there. And I was like, who's this kid? <Laugh>, you know, just saying, I'm 55. So I'm like, who is this person? And, and I played your one of your YouTubes, and I just fell in love. And I went, wow, your energy is off the charts. And then it directed me to a masterclass. And I said, what the hell? Let's do it. So I spent many hours on a Sunday with you, and I said this is exactly what I've been seeking in my life, and I didn't know how it was gonna transform me. So if you're not looking at show notes, it's ridley academy.com. So what got you started in piano?

(00:03:46):

You know, it, it was inevitable. It was just, it was, I, I don't have a lot of early childhood memories, but the earliest memory of my lifetime was being in some cluttered house. And my mom was working two jobs, and she'd left me with the neighbor like a few doors down. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And this guy's wife used to be a pianist, and she'd died, and his house was filthy. And the only thing he kept clean was this piano. And it was right in front of the window, and the sun would bounce off it. And the rest of the house was very dark and horrible. And I just remember looking at the instrument, the curves of it, the shape of it, the size of it. And he had a bunch of instruments. And I remember him telling me, you know, that guitar, it takes a day to make that piano.

(00:04:30):

It takes nine months to make. And I, I was just in awe of the instrument. I'd not, I don't really remember hearing pianists. I just went to this instrument. I was in love with the instrument. I thought it looked so beautiful. And I sat down and I touched it, and I was like, wow, you know, real loud, your fingers vibrate. And especially in the little body. And said, fumble with notes. I, I realized that it, it, it was just the soundtrack to somewhere else. It was a soundtrack to another place. And I grew up in a tiny little village in the north of England where there wasn't really any other places. Yeah. You know, it's just infinite space in all directions. So to have this kind of rocket ship, even even not knowing what I was doing, even just fumbling, there was something to that. There was an instant romance, there was an instant passport out of there. And and I leaned into that very heavily right away. And I had the beautiful opportunity of being bored, which I don't think a lot of children have these days. Right. But I was bored in the countryside, and I, and I had this, had this little rocket ship, and I, I was determined to, to learn how to fly it.

(00:05:33):

That's amazing. On the masterclass that I attended, I noticed that on your backdrop and your bookshelf, you have a picture of Elton.

(00:05:42):

I do. I'm,

(00:05:43):

And you've said the word rocket ship a couple times. <Laugh>.

(00:05:45):

Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't intentional, but I, I'll, I'll take the credit for being so <crosstalk>.

(00:05:49):

He's over there, over your

(00:05:50):

Shoulder. He's right behind me. There he is. Yeah. <laugh>. Yeah. I love Elton. I've on, on the list of private shows I've played, we've bumped into each other a few times, and no way. Yeah. Really, I've, I've bumped into some incredible people, but he, he is one that just an, just an incredible human being. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> as well as a, like a globe changing artist. Yeah. But I, but, you know, wasn't a musical inspiration. That wasn't what I was listening to growing up. I wasn't listening to pianists, believe it or not, there was no piano inspiration. My dad was listening to rock and roll and meatloaf and heavy metal <laugh> and all this kind of stuff. And, and I, I grew up on rock and roll, and, and that was mostly guitars and drums. And, and then I tried to play the piano, like a guitar and a drum <laugh> <laugh>, somewhere in the middle. <Laugh>.

(00:06:37):

That's funny. That's hilarious. Well, for myself, and I wanted to get your perspective on this what I realized in reigniting my passion for the piano, this, this year actually it puts us, at least for me, it's put me in a, in a, a discomfort zone. Not in a place that's a painful discomfort zone, but a sense of wonder. And I, I sense that was the young version of Steven as well. And that wonder brings aliveness and the version, by

(00:07:03):

The way, the current vision, the current version, yeah.

(00:07:06):

Current version.

(00:07:08):

The, the piano is a, the piano is an instrument of exploration. And, and you're going into, you're going into parts of yourself you might not have gone into before. And, and you, you know, it, it's a, it's, it's a funny little way of getting inside this labyrinth of, of you. But in doing that, you allow other people to get into the labyrinth of them. It's such a weird transcending thing, even from the beginning, even from just, you know, sitting down and going through some scales, sitting down and going through some chords. It's, it's the most incredible thing because you have to find what resonates with you, resonate, re scenario to, to sound again, what, what's bouncing off you. And, and it's amazing what you find. And that sounds really thy wey and right in the sky, but it's very real when you sit down. Like, I'm not, I'm not that guy, but it really is that. And yeah. It, it, i, I think the day that I stop exploring on this is the day I stopped playing, but I, I'm just as curious as I was before. Yeah. It's just the boundaries have moved.

(00:08:07):

That's beautiful. That's so prophetic, actually. I love the philosophy that comes through, especially in your course and how you approach the instrument with anyone. And it, what I love about your course is that it's not just about people that have an attunement to a pano who has curiosity. You know, I would not have had this in my life this year at all, had Jackie not been insistent of I wanna purchase this, this piano. And I'm, I'm so grateful for that because I, I literally thought it was gonna be for her. But I sat in front of it after it came into the space, and it's happens to be in my meditation room. So it's in, in this room of spiritual connectedness that I usually go into stillness and just wonder of, of listening. But then, you know, you have this one thing on your, on your course that I thought, at first I heard it and I was like, really? We're gonna do this <laugh>? But you said sit in front of the instrument and just stare at it. Right? Yep. And just connect with it. And that was so powerful. Yep. Because I, it seems to be a person, an tt, a spirit it has its own personality in our home now. And I can't wait to go to her every day. Yeah.

(00:09:18):

Yep. Yeah. I, I know it. Look, I, I just got two pianos this weekend and which is always the best thing in the world, <laugh>. And you don't know what you're getting. You've not had your first dance yet, and you don't know if you're gonna gel. But I do the same thing. I sit with it and I put that in there. And it's amazing. So, you know, we've had a, a lot of all walks of life now. We've got 24,000 students. So we've had, you know, from scientists and yoga teachers and every, every kind of person. And it's funny how everybody goes through something pretty big at that part of the course. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And whether or not they, they think, oh, they think, oh, come on. I'm not gonna, this is ridiculous, <laugh>. But you honestly, and I know, I know

(00:10:00):

It,

(00:10:00):

I know it's a crazy thing to do. I know it, but I put it in there 'cause it works. It's just in there. 'cause It works. I can't explain it. It just works. And something, it's, you know, I grew up going to India very often, and I, I learned a, a few tricks there. And then I, but I also, I've traveled around and I've, I've had to show up really tired, you know, fourth day in a row, having done three shows a day in different countries the days before. And you learn these little things. And, and I can't explain it, but, but it's powerful and it makes a huge difference. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Because, you know, if you, if you can't face with comfort something, then you've got no hope of controlling it. If you, as I say, in the course, if you can't confront, if you can't face with comfort a spider, you won't control it.

(00:10:40):

You'll just run away from it. Right. And, and the basic to, to having fun with a pair of skis or a piano, is to be able to sit there with it and connect. And but more so with a piano than a pair of skis or a spider, because <laugh>, this is, this is your rocket ship. This is it's something very personal. Totally is. And as you're already experiencing, your piano really is yours. And and, you know, the, it's something, I, I don't know how to say it, but you feel it, and it's real.

(00:11:09):

It is very real. And so, putting that in the context of leadership this podcast is for those people that are looking to become better leaders of teams, but more than that themselves. Right? Yeah. We have to lead ourselves first. You know, this, I think that plays well in anything. I mean, because we can create a resistance to something that we believe is an object in our life that we have to use, such as a computer, you know, I have to be on the computer, or I have to be in the truck to drive in my deliveries. And, and if we just see those things in our lives as objects, and we don't respect them for the vehicle or the rocket ship that they are, then we are missing a piece of the journey.

(00:11:50):

Absolutely. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>,

(00:11:51):

And this has, this has come through the entire way. And so you've, you've it seems like you've transcended this ability to, you know, come from things that feel like they're stuck into wonder. And I was wondering if you could share early on in your career, you started off in a completely different industry. Yes, I did. So what was that like? You went to university for this particular skillset, dove in, and then take us into that for a little bit.

(00:12:20):

Yeah. Look, I I grew up, I grew up kind of, I didn't, you know, I didn't know if we were ritual poor. I didn't really know until my dad died. And then I knew Yeah. <Laugh>, oh, I'm so sorry. I, I went to a really fancy school where everybody had a lot of money, and I know that we didn't have as much as they did. And I was going there on a shoestring. And I was always very conscious that I was surrounded by all these kids that had a lot of money. You know, a classic English private school. Yeah. same rules for over a thousand years. You know, we sing our hymns in Latin, that whole thing. Right. Wow. <Laugh>. But I come from a, yeah. But I come from, you know, my dad was a Hell's Angel. My mom's is a midwife in a government hospital.

(00:13:02):

We really weren't fancy people, but they wanted the best for me. And they wanted me to have a life that they didn't have. And they put all of their money into sending to me, sending me to this place. And they made me very aware that they were putting all their money into sending me to this place. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And the exchange that I was gonna give them was I was gonna go and be really successful. Right. And that was just the agreement. My dad died when I was 15 mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> very suddenly, very unexpectedly. And then I became very aware that we had no money at all. Like, no money. The hot water didn't come on it. We suddenly, it was cold showers, and it was, and it, it was really making, making a pound stretch or making a dollar stretch. Right. and again, that kind of drove something in.

(00:13:41):

I'd always, I'd always felt like I was on the back foot financially mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And, and then that was really on the back foot. And then, so I decided, okay, well, I'm gonna go to, I was really good at school. I, I got great grades. I, I got the top marks in, in and in, in the school. And then I went on to a really good university. And the university I went to is also full of like, even richer, richer kids. And these are like, now, you know, in England we have old money and new money 'cause it's such an old country. So I went to the old money university, and I don't have new money. I don't have no money. I'm like, <laugh>, I'm on nothing. Right. And I'm surrounded, and I was fascinated by what the parents of these kids did. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. It was eclectic. It was not what I anticipated. You know, there'd be a guy and he's like, his dad sold bedsheets. He's like, what? And he's driving around a Bentley and the kid's 19 years old. And you're like, what? This doesn't make sense.

(00:14:34):

Yeah. And how does it even match? Right. Right.

(00:14:36):

And and equally growing up my dad sold industrial products, if you've seen the way to happiness Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> that it was very, very much that show. Yeah. So he sold this thing that nobody wanted, and he had to sell one per year. And if he sold one, then, you know, we had a need. And, and if he didn't, then we didn't. And he'd roll me to these meetings to be like the cute kid. Exactly. Like the movie. Oh, wow. It was an, yeah. And it was an adventure. Exactly. Like the movie. I had no idea what we were doing. I just thought, you know, this is a cool holiday. Everything was an adventure with him. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> and great guy, honestly. And anyway, I was at university and then it came my time and I was like, okay, I'm giving up a lot of freedom now to go get a job.

(00:15:11):

And I wasn't happy about that by that point. I'd, I'd met a lot of people. I'd traveled, I traveled extensively. I'd spent all my money on traveling all the time. I'd also worked a lot of different jobs. 'cause I had to. Yeah. And met a lot of walks of life that way. And I was like, okay, I don't, I don't really want to go get a job right now. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. But if I'm gonna do it, I'm only doing it to get money. So I want the highest paid job in the world. And I Googled what's the highest paid job in the world? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, Google said, investment banker. I said, good. Looks like I'm gonna be an investment banker, <laugh>. And I didn't even know what that meant. I didn't know what an investment bank did. I didn't know what an investment banker did, but I, I, I knew I had a gold resume.

(00:15:49):

I'd gone to a top university, top school, full marks all the way through. I did three degrees and got a triple class. First triple first class honors, which is the highest march you can get. I was like, I'm gonna walk, do a job here. Believe it. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. I'm like, I'm, and this really slick guy took me for a stake. I'd not had a stake in I don't know how long. And he come with three other associates. And this guy was so attractive. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And he had two women with him. And they were so attractive. And these people were just, they looked like success. Their skin was different. Yeah. They've like grown up on fo gras. I, I like, there's something about, and this beautiful olive skin. And if you look at me, I don't have that. Like I'm a, I'm a Yeah. Right.

(00:16:26):

We, we, we come from the same, I'm Irish <laugh>. Right. Okay. I'm, I'm Scottish. So we, we got the same thing. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> grew up in the mildew and right. <Laugh>. So you know, I was just in awe of these guys, and they were convincing me to take an application at their bank. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And this was around the time when you finish in university and you make applications. So I made a bunch of applications. I got, and I got this job. It was, it was right after the the crash. It was 2010 mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And the, the world was very different in banking at that point. Like they just laid off 80% of the staff. Right. The 20% that were remaining weren't particularly receptive to new people coming on. But it meant that you could get to a very senior position very fast because the, all of, all of the dead weed was gone.

(00:17:10):

The layers are gone. <Laugh>. Yeah. And, and, and, and the only people who remain are the really, really good people. And so you, you entered this, I mean, I think investment banking is phenomenally competitive at the worst of times. Mm-Hmm. But I entered an environment and, and the first speech we got was there was 16,600 applicants for 16 places. You want to you, one of the 16, don't prove us wrong, but within the 16, there's, there's these teams and there's these teams. And I got, I was, I was, I got put in the top team. I was the only guy in the bank that didn't come from a wealthy family. Wow. Everybody else came because, you know, the daddy's gonna be a client. There's always a bit of that. Right. I, somehow I got into it. I mean, this, this is, I'll, I'll ramble if I go into it, but I got into it through an I got, I got, it was an amazing interview.

(00:17:55):

Nobody asked me. They asked me all these impossible questions. How many tennis balls can fit in a Boeing 7, 3, 7 <laugh> If you have four cups and, and three way nine grams and one way 10 grams. And you can only use this weighing scale once. How do you handle all these stupid questions? That had nothing to do with the job, by the way. But they never asked me, what does an investment banker do? <Laugh>, they asked me like maths and trigonometry and physics, but they never said, what do we do here? If they did, they would've caught me out. 'cause I had no idea. No idea.

(00:18:22):

So you were very creative in your answers. Obviously, <laugh>.

(00:18:24):

Well, they never, like I can, I can answer like an IQ test. It's just got no relevance to the position. And and I was, I was, you know, I was, I was just winging it. Mm-Hmm. And I got into this job and I was miserable. Mm-Hmm. And I was really disappointed to have worked so hard all my life for success. And I got the top job in the top team in the top bank. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I've made it like I've, I've made it. I, I was getting paid five times. My friends at university, what they were getting in their starting salaries. I was like, God, I've made it. I've made it. Right. I wrote, I called my mom up and I was like, I've made it. Like, I think we're, we're we're good. And you know, I told her to go look at Mercedes, you know, I'm gonna get you a Mercedes.

(00:19:02):

And then I got, this was all before I got to the desk. And then you get to the desk and there's a bunch of screens. And I'm sitting there and I was like, well, hold on. What's all this? I, I thought I was just gonna be playing golf and, you know, driving my Lambo home. Like, what? Right. What's, what's all this about? And it was incredibly, incredibly in, it was a mixture of intense and boring. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And and it was that for 18, 20 hours a day, every day. Sure. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> including weekends. And, and, you know, I had my, my second midlife crisis at 20 mm-Hmm. <Laugh> and <laugh>, I hope not actually, but it felt like it felt that way and it was really crashing. And the thing that was making me crash hard was, I'm supposed to have made it.

(00:19:43):

I don't know anybody else to ask, what do I do now? Right. Everybody else is treating me like I'm successful. Everybody else almost expects this ambience of success around me. They, they expect an aura of satisfaction and winning. But it's not how I felt. It's really not how I felt. I felt underwhelmed. I felt I was wasting my short, precious time. And and I didn't find anybody I admired in front of me. So I had nobody to chase. I had, I had nobody I wanted to be like, and that's a really important thing for me, even if the person I wanna be like is my own, you know, as you go into the more entrepreneurial things and being an artist is the mother of all entrepreneurial things. Right. But a, a as you step into doing your own thing, you're, you are often the person you're chasing is you in the future. Right. Like Matthew McConaughey says. It's, it's your vision of what you could be. And that's

(00:20:32):

Still based on other

(00:20:34):

Sites. Yeah. It's based on observation.

(00:20:35):

Yeah. Observation of other possibilities Right. Out there in the

(00:20:38):

World. Yeah. And, and I didn't have that at that point. I'd not met anybody whose life I wanted. I knew I didn't want a life like my parents. I knew I didn't want a life, like a bunch of these stuffy rich kids who are all mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> pretty psychotic, just to be blunt. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. I didn't want a a life like anybody I was surrounded by in banking and I didn't know what I wanted to do. That has to be painful. It is. It's very painful. And, and you feel you have a lot to lose. And I'm like, I worked so hard to get to this place and I don't want it. But if I leave, I'm like admitting that everything I've done in my life up to that point was basically a waste. Because there's no higher place to go to with traditional education.

(00:21:17):

It's like, that's it. Well, what else are you gonna do? And I'd interview other jobs. I knew I had this golden resume at that point, so I could pretty much get any job I'd interview at hedge funds. I'd interview at private equity funds. I'd interview in government, I'd interview in the head office of really big companies. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. I got offered some really big fancy sounding jobs. And it was all the same. It was all the same. It was all gonna be me sitting behind a desk doing something I don't want to do for the majority of my life. And that didn't look like freedom. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And it was amazing. 'cause I, I'd come from the countryside where we, you know, the tallest building has two floors. Yeah. and I was in London and I was blown away by the skyscrapers, and it all looked so glamorous.

(00:21:55):

Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> until I participated in it. And then I realized each of these buildings is just filled with rooms with desks and computers. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And, and rats are sitting in their cages, miserably, chip chip, chip, chip chipping away at something that often has no meaning and consequence. And after you do that for a while, what I'd observed of the people in front of me is you stop, you stop telling yourself. Well, you stop seeing is the whole thing of sitting and looking at the piano. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. These people can't sit and look at their lives, and they convince themselves that it's got some meaning and it's got some worth. And then they wonder, why do I feel empty and depressed and like, I'm going nowhere? Because ultimately they know. But it's harder and harder the more time goes on. It's harder and harder and harder to admit that.

(00:22:33):

And I didn't want to go into that. I'd seen my father die in my arms very dramatically, much younger than he should have. I knew that I was next. I was under no illusion that that death, death is waiting for all of us. And this wasn't gonna be the life I was gonna have. And, and I quit. I had no, a lot of people don't believe me when I say this, but look, I had no idea on the, on the moment that I quit what I would be doing. Really? Yeah. No plan. No idea. No plan. Absolutely none. I just, I was too tired and burnt out. I knew I wasn't gonna find the answer. Sitting at that desk, multitasking, 16 things at once. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. I, I just had to get out. And so I left. It was 11 o'clock in the morning.

(00:23:11):

I walked down a little street in London called Brick Lane. It was a real artsy street. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And everything looked immediately interesting. I felt free for the first time in my life. I'd, I'd gone off this kind of very laid out structured plan that I'd had for myself. And I didn't know what was next. And that was a real freedom. Like real, like real like David Thoro freedom. Right. into the wild, truly. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And everything suddenly looked interesting. I looked at a dude driving a taxi and I was like, oh, I love driving. I love talking to people. Maybe I could do that. I looked at a dude cutting hair. I was like, oh, I love the environment of a barbershop, guys talking about guy things, getting the haircut. Oh, wow.

(00:23:48):

And I wanna I wanna say something here. Yeah. Because in, in my understanding and what I do with people my real job as a coach you entered into what we call super energy richness. And so you had no rules. So there were no rules, no expectations at that point. Right. And whenever we let go of rules and expectations, we let go of a part of our identity. Right. And if our identity, your previous identity wasn't serving you, and so you were escaping that identity, but now you have no identity and no one has any expectation of you in that moment. And that's where true freedom is.

(00:24:23):

Yeah. And I would say something else just to mirror that and, and, and add to it. I was very aware I'd broken a contract with myself. Ah. And, and that this thing that you might call an identity was nothing more than a series of agreements I'd made with myself about the kind of person I was going to be. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But that was a mockup. It's something that I, I created. We all create it. Right. A kid starts out, and you have a basic personality. You have a basic self, but that self, then you choose who you're gonna be, what role, what character, what avatar are you gonna play? And I'd wanted a really successful shiny one of course. Right. Right. And then I just never thought to ask, well, what is success and what I knew how I wanted it to feel. I just didn't know what the actual day-to-Day would be.

(00:25:07):

Fair enough. I knew a, I knew a feeling I wanted my life to have. I knew, I knew a, I had a concept of richness and adventure and, and thrill that my life would contain, but I didn't know what I would do to, to get it. And, and so I just looked around and I di I didn't differentiate between other people's version of success on my own. And now I'd put myself in a position where I was gonna have to really define that for myself. Yeah. And that was incredibly freeing, as you said, at that point. It was like, you now have a blank piece of paper. Right. And that's as daunting and scary as it sounds. And it's also as as exciting, thrilling. And I walked down the street and I, and I saw a piano in a thrift shop, an old little piano.

(00:25:46):

And I was like, oh, that's just what I need. 'cause I was sort of descending into shock by this point. <Laugh> Freedom. Freedom had turned into Paralytic Fear about 20 minutes into this walk. And I was like, wait, but what am I gonna do? I'm living in a penthouse, the penthouse 9,000 a month. And this is, you know, 12 years ago now. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. I'm like, I, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? And I didn't have an answer. 'cause I, I like, you know, and I sell this piano. Oh. It's just what I need. And I walk into this thrift shop and I start playing it. I just sit down and just unwind at this, this, I brought one with me today.

(00:26:18):

Thank you for bringing your,

(00:26:51):

And I am sitting here and a guy comes up to me and he said, Hey, if you wanna play the piano, you've gotta buy it <laugh>.

(00:26:57):

Like,

(00:26:58):

And it was a hundred bucks. And I bought the piano, and it was this big old upright piano weighed about 500 pounds. And three guys helped me drag it into the street. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I thought, well, now what am I gonna do? I know it's not coming home. I know I'm gonna be downsizing, but okay, I've got a piano. I'm just gonna play it in the street. And I sat down, I started playing. I instantly, instantly became nervous putting out that much sound and volume. I mean, a piano's loud. Yeah. Putting out that much volume into the street. It's really audacious. It's really like, you get a lot of attention. And I immediately, I stopped playing it. I was like, whoa, hold on a minute. And I pulled up the lapels on my jacket, and I pulled down my little hat. Really? And I scrunched up.

(00:27:37):

I put my shoulders up and I dipped my head into my chest, and I closed my eyes. And I just played. And I was so happy to be scared because it meant I'd found something I gave a about. I wasn't scared in banking. 'cause Win or lose, it all felt the same. I didn't care about the outcome. And that's why I was numb every day. My life had no consequence that I cared about. And now for some reason, I didn't know what it was, but I was scared. And that just revealed to me that this must be important to me. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I clearly care about this. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. I don't know why. I don't know what it is, but I feel something. And I've not felt stuff in a while. Yeah. And I feel I'm feeling a lot. The endocrine system is going crazy right now.

(00:28:18):

Mm-Hmm. I'm into this and I start playing, but I couldn't stop. I was scared to stop. I was scared to open my eyes. I didn't wanna see what was there. I didn't realize I had things like fear of rejection, all that stuff until this moment. Mm-Hmm. I put myself in a position, like you say, going outta the comfort zone. I realized there was a few things out there, <laugh> and <laugh>. And, and I played for about 40 minutes straight. I think. I, I, you know, I really have no, no idea. And you could feel this burning hole in the back of my head. And I suddenly became very aware. I was like, wait, I'm on Brick Lane. I'm wearing a Rolex. I've got a Hermes Tire, I've got a Prada suit, and I'm about to get mugged for sure. <Laugh>. I'm like, this guy, this guy behind me.

(00:28:54):

Like, I, I just, I just had a sixth sense. I was like, I, you know, you got that feeling. Someone's looking at you. I was like, someone's looking at me. And I feel like a target right now. Uhhuh <affirmative>. And I've, you know, I grew up in a, in a handsy place. So I was, I was real ready for it. And <laugh> I was like, right, well, I'm gonna end the song really suddenly and then spin around. Right. <laugh> and dramatic. It's become, yeah. And it's become like, I've literally, I end a lot of songs in shows now. It's become like a signature thing. But it really came from this moment where I was kind of playing this, you know, I'm there. And then I suddenly just went

(00:29:26):

And I turned around <laugh> and, and I, and I like punched the bottom key and spun around Uhhuh. And there's 700 people stood there in total silence. The whole street's blocked. And I was thrown out. I was just thrown. I was like, what? And no, it's, nobody clapped. Nobody said a word. And I didn't say a word. And it was a deer in headlights moment. One of the only times I've ever played a show and, and, and just pan dead pan silences. Everybody was on that journey with me. Whatever was occurring in that moment, everybody knew it. It was magic. And it was, it was genuine magic. And it, that moment went on for a few seconds, which felt like bliss. And then, I don't know what I just, I, I'd only cried once in my life. I started crying. Yeah.

(00:30:11):

I'm starting to cry right now. <Laugh>. Yeah. Because I feel it.

(00:30:14):

Yeah. I, I, I start crying these, and then people just started clapping and coming up to me and people wanting to photograph with me. People wanted me to sign things and talk to them. And I didn't know why I'd earned a position that any of these people should be interested in me. Right. But I felt like I was very lonely all of my life. And I didn't feel lonely all of a sudden. Yeah. And it, it, you know, I'm just being honest. I was very lonely in my life. I, I was in a village. There was no kids to play with at school. I was very aware that I'm an outsider. I never felt like anybody else. And I, I would try and connect, but there was always a very large chasm of distance between me and you. Yeah. And that distance had been closed in that moment.

(00:30:52):

And I, it was very emotional. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And, and I, I threw my hat on the floor 'cause I'm English and awkward, and I didn't know how to handle the situation. <Laugh> and <laugh>. And then everybody put money in this hat, <laugh>. And I went and I was blown away. I was like, hold on a minute. And I, I went and counted it and it was 16 pounds, 34, and a kroner. Wow. And <laugh> the best money I'd made in my life. Yeah. And I, I sat and worked out. I was like, well, hold on. I'm just gonna do this. And, you know, let's just see.

(00:31:22):

You had nothing to

(00:31:23):

Lose. Yeah. I went right back to the piano. I played it. I played till 1:00 AM that day. Wow. I went home and I couldn't sleep. And I couldn't sleep because I was tripping on the fact that I might be able to actually do this. I played piano all my life as an escape. I played it for me. It was my solace. It was the place I went to. The idea that that could be the vehicle was never in my wildest dreams. The only artist I knew is Elton John and Freddie Mercury and guys who are larger than life. I don't know anything between that. Right. It's broke artist or those guys. There's nothing in the middle. Right. And I'm like, I don't, that was never in my life plan. Like what? I've been doing this all along. The whole time I was at school, I get bullied.

(00:32:02):

I come home, I play piano. I go to a job I don't like, I come home, I play piano. It was always there in front of me. I'd just never really seen it. And it just wasn't even vaguely real to me that that could be an option. And and I couldn't sleep. And, and the other reason I couldn't sleep is 'cause I was paranoid that the street team were gonna come and clean away the piano. Oh. So I got, I got home at like one 30. I was back on that piano at 5:00 AM in the morning. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. I sat, I had a cup of coffee and a cup of breakfast. Mm-Hmm. And this, this beautiful little porridge bowl. And Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> and I, I was wearing clothes that I'd never worn before. They were, they were actually from a fancy dress party, but it was like a Dicken Charles Dickens outfit.

(00:32:40):

Charles Dickens, like all Charles. Yeah. Cute. It was all ra raggedy in 19th century. And I had a top hat and everything. And I was like, you know, screw it. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And about seven 30 in the morning, I start playing. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> played through till 1:00 AM again. Wow. I must have met 3000, 4,000 people that day. And I felt so inexplicably whole, I felt connected. I felt like I was part of society. I felt like I was contributing something of value, which I definitely had never been done at any point in my life. I felt like I was genuinely doing something that was helpful. People smiled. I'd never really made people smile other than a transactionary. Thank you very much. But I never really made a soul smile. Not really. I felt I'd been selfish my whole life and without, without meaning to be.

(00:33:27):

It's just, I was very distracted by myself and my happiness and my emotion and my goals. And it's all this two by two prison called me. Yeah. Very small, small, small little box in a very big world. And suddenly that door had been opened. And and I just, I just kept showing up. I played, I played nine months straight in, in over 60 countries in the street. And I go country to country, to country. I had, I still didn't really have a plan. I still knew I would have, well, I would have to go to back to the real world someday. <Laugh>. I surely can't do this forever. But like, but let me just enjoy a great gap here. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But the more I traveled, the more I traveled, the more you, David Thoreau again, he says, the more you move, the more you move.

(00:34:09):

True. And and I was moving a lot. And I was, I was starting to become somebody that was struggling to relate to people my own age. I couldn't relate to these very, very, very close-minded realities I'd had just one year before. And it wasn't that I'd, I, I hadn't gone off the deep end. I'd not, you know, I wasn't doing drugs or anything like that. I was just, I was actually seeing life. I was interacting with life. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> I was learning about life by living it, not by theorizing, not by listening to somebody else's theory at university. I read a lot of books and philosophy books about life. Well, now I was living it and I was getting to see it. I wasn't sitting on cold stones meditating all day long. I was out there seeing it, and, and I'd meditated a lot in my life.

(00:34:52):

But it, I was doing everything from the sidelines. And suddenly I was in the arena and it was uncomfortable. And it was brilliant and beautiful. And I had scrapes, knees and laughter lines on my face. It was the most incredible highs and lows and highs and lows and highs and lows. And that's, it's just the volume was all the way up. And of course, if you wanna turn down the volume, it's fine. You just don't do it for a day. But Right. I do it for a day and five minutes at a time. I Jagger and I block the streets. And I was, I block 'em in Brazil. I block 'em in India. I block 'em in New York. I block 'em in London. Wow. Block 'em in Moscow. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And then for those 200 people, I'm Elvis Presley, that moment. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And they all come up and we talk.

(00:35:31):

And I'm so interested in them. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, my curiosity extends beyond myself all of a sudden. And I meet so many different people, living so many different lives, and I ask so many questions. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I'm blown away. And I, I just get to meet humanity on a very human level. There's no stage lights, there's no screens, there's no tickets. There's, there's people in a street talking. It's community. I was recently in Cuba, I was blown away that these people all just meet each other in the evening. They all just sit in the streets and talk and dance. And I was like, wow. This is like a, a top load of video. It's like a music video. It's a, this is so romantic. But this is how they live. And it's real. It's real. And, and and that was how it started. That was a really long answer. I'm really sorry. But no, it's good. Yeah. Just, just to tell.

(00:36:15):

So I, it's strange because the, there's this I love it. There's this tool that I use here. And for those that have followed me, they've heard this tool. But I want to, if I could, I I wanna show it. Yeah. Because I think you just exemplified in your life and your journey and where you, where you came from and where you went to this tool in, in a human form. And maybe I have like a bit of a reflection with the, the light here. But you went from something that's called me to we, the me. It's like my life and I, and my identity. We call that humanity, but it's not much. It's just trying to find certainty of life and risk mitigation. Find safety and pay the bills and not feel cast out of the tribe. And maybe a little variety and then some significance, you know, the degrees and the, the jobs and the fancy cars and whatnot.

(00:37:05):

And the penthouse and all of that equals a very energy, poor or energy neutral place. Right. Where we don't, we can't see many perspectives 'cause we don't have enough energy pouring through us. And the emotional equivalent of all of that lack of energy is what we call below the line. And it's, it's very painful with guilt and shame and regret and remorse and loneliness. There. And then you moved and transcended it, transcended you. Whenever you got fed up <laugh> and you went to the, we, you connected with people outside yourself. And, and they're astonished as much as you are in the moment. But that, that is because you've gone from something, what we call below the line of trying to find certainty, ands significance in life. Instead, love connection prevails and growth and, and contribution. And that's where the super energy riches.

(00:37:53):

And then we have different emotional states there. And that's what Einstein says. Whenever we get to our genius level, whenever we have the grace and the ability to surrender into the heterogeneous, I truly believe that every single one of us has genius. And that's what our self-leadership is. It's being still enough to know that there's another calling that is wanting to act in and through us. And we, we revere the people that we can see in evidence that did it. That they're like, oh, well, they found their genius. They found their purpose. They're living it. They're happy, they're successful. Every single one of us has that potential. And I believe it's above the line, which is truly leaning into love. What would I love? And I think love calls to us, and it wakes us up every morning if we dance toward it. And how can I connect with more people at a soul level, not just a human level.

(00:38:45):

Like, you're an object. I need something from you. I'm gonna give you what I can give because we're having a transaction, but connection is truly at the heart. And I felt that in you as soon as I saw you and that YouTube video, I went, I've, I've gotta know more about this. And I'm even with tears in my eyes right now, I'm so glad I went toward that innate intelligence that was speaking in and through me. Not it, it is about the piano, but it's not. You've put out an energy source that, you know, has frequency through the piano, but more than that, you're living a life where you said, I'm not gonna live by the rules that society says because I that success equals happiness. I wanna find true fulfillment.

(00:39:32):

It's really true. Yeah. And you are a lovely person, I have to say. <Laugh>

(00:39:38):

<Laugh>. Thanks.

(00:39:38):

This is such a lovely conversation. I yeah, you're right. And the, there's a, a lot of people say to me at different phases of my life. Yeah. Because the school is very much a, we product music is a we product. It's just, I, I wanna expand in contribution. I wanna, I learned that the we thing that you said is very interesting because it's amazing how much support a group can give an individual, but the individual has to extend his support to the group first. It doesn't work the way around. A lot of people feel entitled to certain things. True. But all you have to do is extend the olive branch. And you don't have to do much. You just have to be willing to be a group member. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And a group member is defined as what? It's somebody who cares for the group.

(00:40:31):

That's what makes a group. It's a series of people that care about the survival and wellbeing of a group. And if you participate in that, you will suddenly find you're not alone. And there's a very, very, very large, large, large, large, large pool of very good people in this planet. And they all wanna help, but they expect the same of you. Right. And to be entitled to that help means to give it also. And it becomes this, it just, as you just said, it flows through you. Things come, they go, you know, whether it be knowledge, I discover things, I share it, whether it be a beautiful song. I dunno where songs come from. Still <laugh>, I'll, I'll find something. I go on a stage, I share it. I'm not trying to hold it back. I'm not trying to, I have stories to tell. I tell 'em, I don't, I don't filter them. I don't try and make myself look good. There's plenty of times I haven't. There you go. <Laugh> and, and I'm an open book like that. And

(00:41:24):

And thank you. I was

(00:41:25):

Gonna say, yeah. I, I was gonna say one thing. A lot of people make the mistake of telling me that I'm lucky because I do what I love. And it's not true. It just looks like that it's not true. I'm not lucky because I do what I love. I'm wise because I love what I do. Right. To love is a verb. It's a doing word True. And, and whether I'm cooking an egg or walking on a beach, I'm gonna do it deliberately with love. And what is love? It's directed attention. It's directed interest. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. It's making something a priority in the moment and giving it all of your attention. Because your attention is naturally filled with affinity and love. Like wherever you put your attention, it will enlighten. And if you put your attention in, in, you know, negative stuff you know, that will enlighten.

(00:42:12):

But if you, if you do something with love, you will find all of a sudden that thing becomes beautiful. Whether it's a walk on the beach, whether it's cooking eggs with Frank Sinatra in the background, <laugh>, whether it's just kissing someone you love. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> remember how much intention you put in a first kiss. It's what makes it amazing. It's 'cause every little fiber of your attention is on the end of your lip. And all you want to do is create a good effect and share a moment. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And then you compare that to somebody who might have been in a relationship 25 years, and they don't even see the person, the kissing anymore, and they don't feel a thing. Well, they make, but we have the

(00:42:44):

Choice to

(00:42:45):

Yes. You

(00:42:46):

Every moment we have the choice to.

(00:42:48):

That's right. And you can make it special. And people make the mistake and they go, they go looking for somebody else that made them feel the way they used to feel, but they made them feel the way they used to feel. They look for a job or a doing this or a, or something that will deliver me that special feeling of love without realizing love's a doing words. So it comes from you not to you. And if you choose to love what you do, rather than like a drug addict going, looking for something that you will like, you don't, I'm, I'm, oh, where can I find it? Where can I find it? Right. You're gonna find it where you put it. And it, and it's gonna follow on this, on this very gentle, strong path of commitment. Commitment is a beautiful word. I love the word commitment. It's, it's light. And it's, and it's stronger than, than an atomic bomb. It's just, it's a decision. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. It's a decision. And I'm rambling, but, but

(00:43:40):

Hold on. I'm gonna pull something off my wall. I wanna read this to

(00:43:43):

You. Yeah, sure. You'll get,

(00:43:45):

You'll get this. 'cause I'm pretty sure you, I'm, I'm betting you know this Wolfgang Johan. Wolfgang van. Good. Right. Commitment. It says here, and by the way, in your course, I love that you, you know, do the Latin version of the words and you give us explanation. 'cause I'm a, a word hound. <Laugh> Me too. I'm addicted to the language. So com I love language. I do too. And I love silence of language as well. The space in between, the space in between the notes, right? Yeah. So commitment. It says here, until one is committed, there's hesitancy. The chance to draw back, always ine effectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans that the moment one definitely commits oneself. Then providence moves to a whole stream of events, issues from the decision raising in one's favor, all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man or woman could have dreamt, would've ever come their way. And Gida says, whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it.

(00:44:57):

Mm. Wow.

(00:44:59):

That's what we're talking about today, isn't it? That

(00:45:01):

Is beautiful.

(00:45:03):

I'll send that to you,

(00:45:04):

<Laugh>. Yeah, thank you. <Laugh>.

(00:45:06):

I'm also looking online at, because I do love derivations, I'm looking at what is the Latin base of that. And it comes from <inaudible>, which means to join an entrust from Khan. Meaning with, in Aire to put you put with. It's like, it's, it really is. If you put something to who, right. It's that. Yeah. And you know, I've, I, I'll share something personal, just, just in the spirit of things. Okay. Please, <laugh>. You know, I recently got a girlfriend who I think is calling me in my pocket right now.

(00:45:35):

<Laugh>. What? Timing? Hello? Yeah. <Laugh>.

(00:45:38):

I'm gonna put her on speaker. One sec.

(00:45:39):

<Laugh>

(00:45:40):

Babe. I'm just talking about you on a podcast and Yes, I am. But I'm gonna be here for a minute. You can come up or otherwise we'll, we'll have to see each other a little later.

(00:45:51):

Oh,

(00:45:51):

I know. I'm sorry. I thought you were gonna be done at 12. I know. But things, things. It's okay.

(00:45:55):

We had a little delay. <Laugh>.

(00:45:58):

Okay. My love

(00:46:01):

<Laugh>.

(00:46:02):

Bye.

(00:46:03):

<Laugh>. Sweet

(00:46:04):

With her, right? Yes, with her. She's used to it, by the way.

(00:46:08):

Yes.

(00:46:08):

<Laugh>. That, that, that si is because it happens all the time.

(00:46:12):

<Laugh>

(00:46:14):

It's what comes with beam with me, right? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> that the, the interesting thing when I met her is I'd spent a while looking for like, oh, you know, who's my lobster? Or going around looking for love and or looking for somebody I, I wanted to love. And then what I realized when we started dating is very, very early on I was like, I'm just deciding. I'm committing, I'm joining with putting with Mm-Hmm, <affirmative>. It's commitment. It's just, I decide to love you. But the reason I was willing to do that is 'cause she was willing to do the same and true. That's all there is to a relationship. It's very obvious in a friendship. I'm gonna decide to extend you my friendship, but I expect the same back. And then in love, you know, we all have different, it, it, it's our own creation, so we can make it whatever we want. But it was, I found someone who agreed with the kind of things that I wanted to create in that area of life, and then we just decided to commit. And then it's the, it's the happiest relationship I've found. And it was so simple. It was just a decision. And that decision is kept in place through the actions on a day to day

(00:47:10):

And deciding each day. Yeah.

(00:47:12):

Yeah.

(00:47:12):

So you put the fuel toward that. It's not like, and I, I love the marriage that I have with Jackie. We're 10 years we've 12 years together, 10 years committed in relation in marriage. Every day it's a choice. Like we, and, and this is good for leadership too, because we have the choice to listen to the voice inside of our head that could create pain and worry and disregard and resentment or regret or whatever it is that's always on offer. Yet if we commit to saying, I'm gonna choose a different path, I'm gonna choose where happiness and love and joy and possibility and curiosity lie. Like you walking out of that building that day at 11:00 AM and, and going down brick Lane and seeing the piano and being curious and deciding you, you let joy prevail and be your partner on that walk. And I'm very grateful, and I feel it would've happened eventually. <Laugh>, your amount of pain was there, and the piano was always your friend <laugh>.

(00:48:12):

So life brought you this genius and I'm grateful for you following it. And more than that, availing your genius to the world. So I wanted to dive into what the Ridley Academy is. Yeah. Because it's how I've experienced you, <laugh>. I can't wait to see you. I, I've actually Googled you so much, and I have a lot of your songs on my playlist now, <laugh>, because you have songs that are fun. But more than that, I wanna see you live and I will <laugh> somewhere someday. Yes. You'll, you will maybe I'll be on stage with you because you offer that to your students. That's a, that's a,

(00:48:46):

That's, I I recently pulled a student onto stage with me, and it was, it was absolutely magnificent. <Laugh>.

(00:48:52):

That's

(00:48:52):

Awesome. It

(00:48:53):

Was so cool to see the end of, well, not even the end, but just another step on that person's journey. But I knew that person when they came in saying, I don't believe I can play piano. There's no way knowing called Jennifer and they'd totally given up. They'd had lessons in the past, they'd found it very boring, blah, blah. And I'm sitting there, no, no. It's 10 minutes a day. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I'm gonna change your life. And for whatever reason, they decided to trust me. And then it was just a few months later, they were playing on a stage in front of my audience, and they came as an audience member. And then I saw them. I was like, oh, hey, <laugh>. And I was doing the sound check, and I was like, do you wanna play tonight? And I was, I made a game out of it. I was like, look, I'm gonna challenge you. I'm gonna teach you a song in an hour. And then Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I'm pulling you on stage to play in front of everyone. And that's exactly what we did. And I've done that a couple times now. And, and so yeah. I'm, I'm up for that. There. Go, if you like a challenge, go. I, I

(00:49:41):

Love, I, I love challenges. And so recently I've, I've fallen in love with F Sharp major <laugh>.

(00:49:48):

<Laugh>. There you go. Beautiful <laugh>.

(00:49:54):

There's just such joy in, in the f sharp major scale. And I was like, wow, I love this. And there's so many black keys involved. <Laugh>. Yeah.

(00:50:02):

Yeah. Yeah. Wonderful. Right.

(00:50:04):

It's

(00:50:04):

Wonderful. So tell us about Ridley Academy. How did Ridley Academy come about in your purview of your next version of yourself?

(00:50:12):

Yeah. I mean, it was something that

(00:50:17):

I was always this is gonna sound, I'm just gonna, I've just gotta say it how it is. Yeah. When I would play piano and be surrounded by a lot of people, I could feel that a lot of those people wanted to be in my chair. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And and then they'd say, so mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And they'd talk about wanting to do this and wanting to do, and I felt, and this is, I'm not putting myself on a pedestal with a doctor. It's just a metaphor. But I felt much like a doctor who's walking around and people are bleeding out and I'm not doing anything about it. Ah, and, but on a more kind of musical, spiritual kind of plane, I see that people have all of this, you know, what connects us to a song? And it's something I now I have learned very much about, because I've played to millions of people.

(00:51:03):

The thing that connects people through song is finally, somebody expressed this thing that was inside of me that I couldn't quite find and get out, but you played that song and bang, I found it. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And it has voice. And now it can come out of me rather than ricocheting inside and causing a lot of destruction. When Adele says we could have had it all. And everyone goes, oh no. They're not thinking about her boyfriend or her love situation. No. They're thinking about their love situation. They're thinking about, oh, or maybe they didn't even have a love situation, but they had this fear that that might happen one day, but whatever it is, she's given voice to something that was inside of them. And that's liberating for everybody. Hence, you have a stadium that can blow the roof off. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I've, and I've seen that power of music, and I've been in the driving seat having the most fun in the room.

(00:51:49):

I'm feeling a little bit like I'm getting away with something. And okay. <Laugh> and I would look in the audience and, and I just wanted to change that. But I also had walked the path of music education. I've walked through what it takes. I'd walked through traditional music school for two decades. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> learning the, the traditional way. I knew that it was painful. I knew that most people don't make it. Everybody in my school who I was taking music classes was stopped playing within the first year. Like, I was the only guy who tried out to play piano in the band because everybody else gave up. Like I, and I'd seen that, and I taught piano at university with the, with the traditional methods. And I'd struggled as a teacher because I was like, it's just so overwhelming. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> and unwieldy.

(00:52:31):

And so we get it. Like it becomes this disciplined drilled in thing. 'cause There's no other way. It's such a dry over complicated subject and nobody's refined it. And so what, what the Ridley Academy is, is it really started as a little passion project that I was doing very quietly. And it was to find a new way of teaching piano that would, there was a few little missions from the outset. I wanted, I wanted the journey of learning piano to be a journey of fallen in love. Yes. I didn't want it that you suffer for 20 years so that you can have this enjoyment I was now experiencing. 'cause That's what I had. I had 20 years of suffering to then start enjoying music. I didn't want that. I wanted, from day one, it was gonna be enjoyable, and I wanted it to be simple.

(00:53:12):

Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Because there's a ton of stuff that I learned in music school that I just don't need. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> I more than 90% of it, I don't need it. I don't use it. It's not relevant. Maybe it's true, but it's completely unnecessary. So I wanted to massively simplify it. And I wanted to make the journey fast, as fast as it can be without short cutting, actually being able to play and express yourself and having every tool and skill on this instrument. I didn't want it to be fast being a gimmick where you're gonna watch lights go down a screen, because that stuff ends up actually not being fast at all. You spend weeks and weeks to memorize one song and then you forget it. And that wasn't a good use of time. Right. So I wanna achieve the full product, which is full confidence and connection, and being able to read music and play whatever you want, and express yourself and sound like you not sound like somebody else.

(00:53:54):

And play without having your mind stuck on it. And just be able to flow through the piano like what you would think of as an incredible pianist. That's the goal. How can I get there? Fun, fast, simple. And, and then it was nine years of cocking it up, <laugh> <laugh>. It was nine years of messing it up and and getting it wrong and trying things and Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> and realizing that there was a reason nobody had done this for nearly 800 years. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And it was, there's a reason that people have bounced off this. I had to confront even, you know, I had a, a very deep understanding of music when I set out to do this very, very, very deep. But even with all of that, I was, it was so difficult to make it simple. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And make it so that, and, you know, I would test it on flatmates and I'd, and then I got to just taking random people in the street and I'd ask them, do you wanna learn piano?

(00:54:43):

Then I'd take them into my house and I'd try and teach them something in 15 minutes. And I was doing this over and over again. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And and then I figured it out and it took nine years. And then I figured out, and then I'd start, it was, it was a initially part of my show. Like I'd bring people on stage in the middle of my show and in front of a whole audience, I'd show them something. And in doing so, I'm showing the whole audience something. Yeah. And it ended up being like, the most fun part of the show. And it was a relief. And like, I don't have to be the center of attention for a second. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And it was just lovely. And then I thought, okay, I'm going to, I'm gonna, the initial idea was this was just something that at the end of the show, if you liked that and you wanted the whole method, you can pick it up.

(00:55:25):

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And that was my big idea at the time. And then Covid came. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> and all my shows, I had 39 shows booked. They'd all paid 50% deposit. They all canceled. They wanted the deposit back. And I'd already paid the tax on that deposit <laugh>. So I was, I was in a very rough place. And I was like, okay, well I can't play shows, but what I've got is this, and I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna go sell some of this. 'cause You can do it from home. It's a wonderful thing to do when you're locked up. And I really leaned into it, and I leaned into it, and I, and I went outside my comfort zone again, because I don't like marketing <laugh> <laugh>. I don't like putting myself out there saying, Hey, I'm gonna sell you something. And I had to get over that.

(00:56:07):

Yeah. And, but I was helped by the fact that I wasn't selling chairs and I wasn't selling shoes. I wasn't selling something that had no consequence and meaning in my own personal view, I know, you know, a lot of people can love that stuff. I do love shoes. I do love chairs. They're great <laugh>. But I had something which I knew would deliver something profound to a person's life. I knew categorically 100% that somebody who went on this is gonna change their life. And the rest of their life is gonna be more beautiful because of it. I know that for a fact. I know anybody that wants to play piano is gonna be playing simpler and faster and the way that I would want to have been taught, they're gonna, they're gonna have something which doesn't exist on this planet. And so I got out of my own way and I forced myself to do things which were very uncomfortable.

(00:56:53):

Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> and, and push and sell this product. And it was only difficult. Well, there was two stages of difficulty. The first stage of difficulty was the first stage <laugh> that was then rapidly quenched by seeing students win. Ah. Because then it becomes a purpose. In the beginning, it's an idea, and maybe I'm wrong, I mean, I'm just saying this like, maybe it doesn't work. And then you test it and you go, and people who you would never have met are sending videos and their lives are different. Mm-Hmm. We would never have met today if it wasn't for this. True. It's an, it's an amazing thing. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. So that we concept you're talking about Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I go into another level of we Right. And this time, you know, I'm giving people something that they're gonna have the rest of their lives. Mm-Hmm.

(00:57:38):

<Affirmative>, they're gonna have this the rest of my life. Now, they might not think about me in anything like that, but it doesn't matter. I've given them something. They might pass it on to their kids, their grandkids. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, 30% of our students are doing it with their kids and grandkids. This is something which accidentally is gonna echo down generations, and it could make millions and millions of artists. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And that keeps people on the piano. And I'm like, wow. Well, that's amazing because, because it's an in incre, you know, it's liberation in, in an object. It's, it's, it's an incredible thing. So that, that made it easier. But then the second thing happened, which was, as I grew Mm-Hmm. And I was growing on social media at the same time because I was doing these online concerts for free twice a day.

(00:58:16):

Yeah. Three hours each, and playing six hours a day. And when I wasn't playing those shows, I was teaching. And if I wasn't teaching, I was figuring out what songs am I gonna play in the next live <laugh>. And I was back on the investment banking schedule, but this time I was very much guided by I, that thing you said about freedom comes from no rules. There's ano there's another freedom where your own fears, you just acknowledge 'em and do it anyway. Exactly. And in that moment, I was like, I know I don't have to travel for a show, and I might bankrupt myself on this. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, because, you know, I, I'd taken a huge, huge amount of debt to be able to just build the school. And then I was really like putting myself in a position, but I was like, I just am going to produce.

(00:58:55):

So I wanted to put, I wanna have a little point there because I've done the same thing where you just, you go all in. Right. It's like being at the table and knowing you're putting all your bets on this one thing because you're so laser focused and there's no other options. Yeah. You know, Napoleon Hill says, burn the boat, so you burn all the boats. Right. There's no retreat. You go completely in. And, and I've got chills here because, excuse me, I'm glad you broke the, the language barrier, but you don't give a a if it if it burns anymore, because it's the only decision you have. Right. And, and there's an energy behind it because you won't fail. Yep. And like, you just know you won't fail.

(00:59:33):

We're back on that word commitment. We, you've put yourself in a position where before then it's hard to prioritize. And I tell people this often, it's very hard to prioritize your goals versus all the other things of life. And Yeah. But I've got this and this and this, and Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, we're all balancing all these things you just didn't commit. Right. When you commit to a direction, suddenly everything shifts. And the things that are really important, you'll make time for the things that are not just fade away because you put yourself in a position where you don't like no long, like, I, I can't even give you examples because I, I just didn't have this. But as soon as I, as soon as I was like, look, this is what I'm doing. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I had to hire people, and now I'm responsible for paying them next month.

(01:00:11):

And I've never hired people before. Oh God, this is stressful because I don't even have the money to pay them this. Oh my God. And so I put myself in a place where I have to produce and I have to work, and I wanna work and it means something. And I'm doing this, and it, and I, I just, there was never, then, I just don't have noise anymore. And it was so simple. It was such a simple, beautiful flow state. I got the word flow tattooed on my ankle from it. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I just, I just did moment by moment by moment, the thing I knew was right to do. And I'm playing it, I'm playing it, I'm playing it, and I end the live stream three hours, my voice is toast, and I open up my laptop and I start doing this teaching session, and I'm high off the live stream. And I've got all, you know, I, I would often have 60, 70,000 people on one of these live streams. It was amazing. Mm-Hmm. I just did Madison Square Garden via my phone, <laugh>. And then I come back and I'm like, right, right. This is how we're gonna play a chord,

(01:01:04):

<Laugh>, and then <laugh>,

(01:01:05):

And then we go into it. But I was, and then I come off the, the high of other people winning and other people like, you know, having big wins back onto the live stream. And, and, and, you know, it was, it was this it was this incredible period of, of pure focus. And then that's what really grew the school. But what then the second challenge came, and the second challenge was when I started really communicating into the world. And the social media grew, and the number of students grew. And you know, the number of PE people subscribed to the Ridley Academy email and Right. They click on an ad, they subscribe to an email. Right. And then some people just want to be on the newsletter. Yeah. Now it's over 1.6 ish million people on this newsletter. Well, what comes with communicating to 1.6 million people? Or you put a video out, I had a video in one of these videos, got 23 million views on Instagram, a different video, got 160 million views on Facebook. Well, what comes when you put that ripple into the world is that a certain tiny sliver of the population decide to destroy you. Yeah. And I'd never had, that i's never interesting. I never experienced Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> like people with genuine, like

(01:02:21):

Ill intent,

(01:02:22):

I ill intent. And it's so easy. Oh, you know, a troll. No, I'm not talking about a troll. I'm talking about somebody who's made it their mission to, to, to just, they're, they're attacking. They don't even know who they're attacking. Well, yeah. They're, they're threatened by what you are doing in some weird aberrated way. Right. And I started to experience weirdos. And if you'd notice on my social media, I stopped posting on social media. It got really, like, I was having people come into the studio, people breaking into my, I'd go home, I'd come back and there was all these objects in my recording studio. And I was like, yeah, what? And somebody left a gun in my studio once loaded, locked on the table. And I was like, what? And then just, and what happens with that 1% of people is because they're very, you know, it's very, it catches eyeballs. The whole, by the way, this is the media. The media is only, this is

(01:03:12):

Only focused on that.

(01:03:14):

Right. You walk down the street, it, it's a normal world. You turn on the media and it makes it seem like the world's burning down. Sure. Social media has become that because only

(01:03:22):

1%,

(01:03:22):

Right. Social media often rewards this like, very toxic kind of person because it's provocative, it captures attention, but it distorts your view of reality and it distorted mind. And it makes you think that the whole world is burning down, or whole world is negative. Or in this case, like people who are very happy, for example, you put a piece of content out and somebody just reads it. Oh, that's cool. They don't tend to write to you. No. The people that write are people that really loved it, which is a portion of people, quite a small portion, and the people that really want to just ruin your day. I know. And, and, and the rest of them don't really, same with comments, same with everything. And it was it. And, and so I then that started happening and I was like, oh. And then that was a challenge.

(01:04:03):

And then, and I've had to overcome that challenge again by doing the exact same thing. And it's just a reorient to like, well, I'm here to get a jo. Like, I'm here 'cause I believe in Right. This thing, I'm not gonna, what, what am I gonna, I have two choices at this point. Do I, do I just go, oh, that's scary. And then I retract and I just live in a box and I don't do anything for anyone anymore. And I'm back into this world of me and oh, okay, well, at least I'm quote unquote safe. I'm miserable. Right. But I'm safe. And everybody else is miserable. And I know I have all this potential, but I'm not gonna do anything because it's scary. I'd live that life. I live that life. Or am I gonna go out and I'm gonna be like, well, and I, I don't mean to be rude, but just simply off <laugh>. Right.

(01:04:45):

Exactly. Literally

(01:04:46):

Like, cool. Yeah. I don't, I just, I'm

(01:04:49):

Doing it anyway.

(01:04:50):

Right. And I'm like, I'm not here for you. I was never here to, like, it's just, you seem to think I owe you Right. Something to meet your approval. And I don't, it was never for you. Clearly by, by whatever you are doing, you're demonstrating to me, this was never for you. Yeah. And you are the kind of person that, you know, I could bring you a cake and you'll complain. Right. I'm just, I'm just, you're not, we're not on the same, we're not vibrating the same brother. And yeah.

(01:05:16):

So I have someone who's a stalker, who's been a stalker for at least 15 years now. Maybe 20. Right. She, she has her own little email box on my computer. 'cause I push everything over there. Right. And so if I wanna be entertained about what her attitudes or her thoughts of me today are, I'll just go over there just to be entertained. But I literally get, I probably about five or six emails a day from this particular person. And I'm, I'm the root of all evil in her life. But I've had the same thing. I've had a break in violent break in and, and, and things of that nature. And, and I believe that. And so for people who are speaking or listening to this from their leadership perspective, whenever you go wholeheartedly in to the genuine, authentic nature of who you are and your passion, your aliveness, your purpose, there will be those people who are not going to be happy about it. It, it, you cannot make everybody happy. And, and, and in my experience, it's just gonna be part of the journey. And so I wanna do it with grace. I have boundaries. I'll defend myself, whatnot. But I don't let that deter me or douse my fire. What would you say to that, Steven?

(01:06:26):

I would say a very, very, well, I'll just say it was Sting. I was, he, I, I went to play at his, his, he, he has a house in Italy. He is really incredible. And I went to play for his wedding anniversary. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> very, very, very beautiful relationship, by the way. Been with the same woman over 30 years. Very, very, very What a, what a guy. And I'd met him playing this well, I met his, somebody connected to him off the side of a stage when he was playing this private show in Italy. And then he'd seen me play, and then somehow I got this invite to his house. And now we're, we're playing. And, and there's a bunch of musicians there. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I asked him, because whilst we were doing the show at his house Mm-Hmm.

(01:07:10):

<Affirmative> like 20 feet away. There was a wall with security, and then there was a bunch of people, and some of them were, were real weird. And he said something so light. And I was like, oh my gosh. And he was like, well, you know, when you lean in, either people are gonna see that and choose to lean in with you, or they're gonna be threatened that they didn't. Right. And my, what I've come to realize is only, but I'll give you an example. Like the only people that would ever say something like, the students who do our program unanimously the same reviews. The same reviews. They might live in China, they might live in Brazil. They're all like, very blown away. And Oh my God, oh my god, piano before Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Right. The only people that would make noise about it, they've not done the program.

(01:07:57):

They didn't lean in, they didn't do anything. And they'll attack something based on nothing. It's completely made up. And it's, what is that? It's a reaction to me leaning in. And what are they, they're people who can't lean in and they're threatened by people leaning in. And I see it all the time on social media. Now. You open up the social media of anybody you admire, you go to the comments section and it's polluted. But you click on the profile of those people, I challenge you to do it. They have nothing going on in their lives. They don't lean in at all. And that's what they're reacting against. They're reacting against themself. They're reacting against their own cowardice. They're reacting against you are holding a mirror up to them, and they don't like what they see. You are demonstrating something to them that they didn't have the courage to go and do.

(01:08:34):

And it's so unnecessary of a reaction because they're not saying anything about me. They're saying everything about themself. True. Me. And you could walk in a room and a third person could walk in a room, and we all look at this room and I go, oh my God, I love the, the awning there. And you go, I love the lights. It's really good. And the other person could go, oh, it smells a mildew and I don't like it. And that's really stuffy. It's the same room. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. It says nothing about the room. It says everything about what state we're in. Are we looking for the good? Are we looking for the bad? Are we just inventing bad that isn't even there, which is the lowest state? And I, you know, when you meet millions of people through this weird weird situation that I, I I, I meant you meet everything from the highest to the lowest vibration.

(01:09:18):

And I'd love to say I was big enough to have empathy. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But I don't Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I don't, because because I want more for them than that. Right. And that they, they'd find that very patronizing. They'd say, I'm patronizing. Who do I think I am? They'd point to someone more successful than me. They'd introvert me. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, who do you think you are? You're not this guy. Blah, blah, blah. They'd criticize the way I look. They'd criticize things. I'd say they'll find, you know, a different derivation for commit. Say, look, you made it up. Well, it's on Google. What? No. Yeah. But you, no, everything would be bestowed as a ulterior motive. And somehow it links back to an Illuminati and blah, blah, and <laugh>. This would just snowball into something. It

(01:09:56):

Does, it does. <Laugh> and,

(01:09:57):

And I, and I'm, and I'm just, I don't have, like, they're getting in the wheels of something good. Yeah. And I just don't, I, I choose not to allow that to occur. And I'm quite ruthless now with it. And I'm, I'm ruthless with who I allow to be in my circle. Good. I sent a legal letter off the first time in my life. I was like, so this, I sent a legal letter to someone. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And I, I learned. But, but what I think about it is, is what Sting said. I don't, I don't take it personal anymore. I just realize like, this threatens my group. Yeah. This threatens, you know, one toxic person on an Instagram live. You go on Instagram live, one person starts writing critical things. Everybody reacts to the toxic person. Nobody reacts to the positive people. And so the entire chat goes toxic.

(01:10:41):

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And so now if I did an Instagram live and someone's on there and they say something, I'm just like, cool. You, thank you for revealing yourself. Now I know who to block. I go straight to your profile. I block you, you are out of there. You get one shot. I just won't, I won't tolerate it because I'm creating a space. And everybody came for that space. And you are trying to crap on this space. And it took a lot of building. And it wasn't just me who built it? Everybody who's in this, right? Everybody who's come here is making whatever this is Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. If we do a show, everybody who came made it what it is and if you want to come and try. And I'm like, Nope. It's not, it,

(01:11:14):

It reminds me of that. There was a show, who was it? I think it was, I don't know if it was Lady Gaga or not, but there was someone that was at her show that was creating dismay or wanting to, and what was great is that the majority of everybody around that person just helped escort that person off. Right. You didn't have to do anything. Oh, it was pink, right? It went oh pink. Yeah. On yeah. One on YouTube. But what I love about this is that even from a leadership standpoint, it's boundaries. You know, what will we tolerate? What will we not tolerate? And to not let go of our vision, our passion, our authenticity, our desires because of, of fear. Yeah. That's what it comes down to. You're either gonna move toward passion and aliveness and genuineness and be vulnerable. Like be vulnerable.

(01:12:01):

That is where strength is. Your strength is in your vulnerability and your visibility. It's not in your trying to play it safe and just get everything right. Yeah. If there's some themes that come out of our time here together. So I love our conversation. I know your girlfriend's in the wings waiting for you, <laugh>. That's okay. I want everybody to know how to participate. In the show notes at Bonfire Coaching for the podcast we are giving you a bonus that is for people to go to your masterclass. And it's www.go.masterclasspiano.com. And then also, you know, just to go to ridley academy.com, everybody, you need to do this if piano is in your heart in any way, shape, or form. And, and even if it's not, honestly, even if you're saying, you know, I don't know about this piano thing, I dare you to go toward it.

(01:12:59):

Steven has laid this out in these beautiful ways that he's, he's so entertaining and hilarious and intriguing and infectious and you know, like literally, my wife and I want to spend time with you every day on the course. And whenever we're just practicing, we're like, oh, but we're not gonna have Steven if we're just practicing, so we'll just go watch you again and, and do our practicing. But it's because it's part of something that I believe is in our soul. We are all made of frequency. Mm-Hmm. Every single one of us is a frequency. We are vibration, we are sound in the beginning was the word. We are sound and music is our destiny at some level. And so, gift yourself the gift of music. And if you have, you know, just one little piece of curiosity, go to the ridley academy.com and, and, and, and just experience. Steven, you, you are a brilliant genius. I'm so glad I'm in this, you know, physical world space. Whenever you are alive and you've moved toward this, and I'm here to support you every which way I can. Jackie and I both are

(01:14:00):

Thank you. And I think it's very beautiful, by the way, you and Jackie doing it together. It's my favorite thing to see when it, it's a very bonding thing, right? You are, you are Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, you have a tool to express some of the most beautiful parts of yourself. And to see to, to when you were talking then I, I made a picture in my mind of how that might look. And I was like, wow, that's really beautiful. And <laugh>, I'm really glad that you're on board. And, and yeah. Anybody who wants to come on board, it's, it's the, the open doors. And you know, I'll, I'll, I do a free workshop, you can come whenever I'm doing the next workshop, you can come to it, you can get a taste for it. And yeah, thank you for having me, and thank you. What a wonderful conversation. I mean, this went places I didn't expect <laugh>. And, and I'm really grateful that you made a space to have that kind of conversation. It's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah.

(01:14:47):

I was wondering if you can play us out a little bit.

(01:14:50):

Yeah. Okay. Let me, let me see what I've

(01:14:52):

Got here. Little challenge there. Let's see what comes through. <Laugh>. everyone, this is Mr. Steven Ridley <laugh>.

(01:14:59):

I'm gonna pull up I'm gonna play something that's, that's it's just a song that I love and Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I found myself playing it yesterday and I'm gonna play it again today. It's just a, it's just a place I'm at. Let me

(01:15:14):

Awesome.

(01:15:16):

Minimize this and pull up my piano.

(01:15:20):

Cool. Thank you for being our guest today, Steven. Thank you. You're amazing.

(01:15:59):

I thought there was a secret call that even play and I pleased the Lord. But you don't really care for music, do you? It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the man fall. The, the B compose. Hallelu Hall. Hall.

(01:18:25):

Hallelujah.

(01:18:33):

Hall

(01:18:41):

Hall. Hallelujah.

(01:18:58):

You are pure love, sir.

(01:19:02):

<Laugh>.

(01:19:04):

What a joy.

(01:19:07):

Oh,

(01:19:07):

What a joy. Thank

(01:19:08):

You so much.

(01:19:09):

Thank you so much. Enjoy the rest of your day. Thank you. You too. Thank you for sharing and can't wait to be with you again soon. Yeah,

(01:19:17):

Me too. Awesome.