WHY I DECIDED TO BECOME A LIFE AND CAREER COACH
Terrified! I was terrified. A week before my first day in high school I stood 5’2” and weighed 132lbs. I knew I would be the smallest boy in high school, and I expected trouble. What was I going to do?
The truth is that upon entering high school I was at an age where physical prowess reigned supreme, and that was something I just didn’t have. I assumed that my stature would make me or break me in my new adolescent social and vocational surroundings. I entered thinking that I will be a sitting duck waiting be someone’s breaking toy. So, I wanted to build my muscles and be transformed like the weakling in the old Charles Atlas ads. But how?
My older brother Mike had been respected in high school for being a good student and a strong, muscular football player. Now in college his athletic frame at only 5’8” held him to be a young man worthy of great esteem amongst his peers. I wanted what he had. So, I turned to him for help. In turned he recommended that I seek out a coach at a local gym who could train me in the art of strength and conditioning.
Well, I reached out to the gym and asked for a coach. I came to learn that the cost of the coach was more than my high school freshman budget could afford, so I took up a job working all weekend for a surety bonding company to be able to pay for the gym and coaching.
Not knowing a thing about how to achieve my goal, Chet – the coach I had hired, took me in and covered areas I had never considered. I learned proper exercises, a muscle building routine, the reason for eating a good diet, the necessity for mental training drills, breathing techniques and essentially a new way of living. During these weekly sessions with my coach I learned so much and felt as though I was truly gaining muscle and strength: best of all I felt a lot less worried going to school. What I did not originally catch was that I was learning the importance of establishing a good routine in life, of developing good habits, and of the mind and body working together to affect the change I was seeking – these realizations came much later.
I had made it through my first year of high school with little to no trouble. I had gained some confidence in who I was becoming, but I still had a long way to go as far as I was concerned. All of my older brothers were football players, and I believed that being one as well would decide whether I would “be someone” or not.
“To be someone” meant I needed to see “real results” that were meaningful to a small football “wannabe” about to enter his sophomore year in high school. Well, that August before my I got exactly what I had hoped and much more. While I had grown to the towering height of 5’4” I had to risk seeing if I could actually have the strength to play football. Well, the very first day of pre-season training the football coach called all the players into the weight room to do bench press and squat maximum lift tests. Though I was worried to be seen by the older football players due to my smallness I began to use the mental techniques Chet had taught me ate Hank’s Gym prior to my first lift.
As a small guy I was one of the first to go, so I did my first lift to what I thought would be close to my maximum. I pushed up 200lbs, which I was able to do easily. Well, to keep the story short I came to my third lift attempting for something far beyond what I believed I could do. Now, the whole team made up of freshmen to senior players was in a “lift off” for who could lift the most weight regardless of height or body weight. To my great surprise I was one of the final three lifters. I was elated to be in this position, but this elation wasn’t filled with an egotistical pride, rather it was an astounding in awe to have surpassed my goal and to actually be a part of everyone else in the weight room. I felt a unit, a brotherhood I had never really experienced before.
Well, competing with me in these final lifts were a giant boy who stood 6’4” tall and weighed 240lbs. The next of the three was another big boy who stood 6’0” tall and weighed 220lbs. Then there was me who stood 5’4” tall and weighed a gargantuan 145 lbs.
Well, while the bigger boys placed 1st and 2nd respectively, I was able to lift 315lbs! I recall sitting on the bench and looking up. All of the upper classman football players were rooting for me. “You got this Monks! You got this! Come on Baby!” That alone was beyond amazing. Then I laid back and went back to my breathing and meditation exercises Chet taught me. Moments later the bar came down and back up almost without feeling. I had done it! Coming back to regular reality I actually questioned if that was me or if I was in some other world. Before I could question beyond a second several of the older classman grabbed me up and bear-hugged me in celebration. Shock! Just Shock!
I had achieved far more than what I had expected. I had first began training to avoid being bullied by getting stronger and more muscular. Over the course of the training, however, I had surpassed my goal: I learned the importance of how the mind plays in affecting what I choose to do and the importance of community in working towards my goal. As I think back upon that time in high school, I think of how the character Daniel Ruettiger in the film Rudy was helped along the way by the maintenance man who later told Daniel that he gave up as a player and for Daniel not to give up. I also think of the character Dan Millman in the book and film Peaceful Warrior who was helped by a wise, old man who challenged and sparked the needed change within Dan who learned to raise above his original goal to ultimately become something far more than he expected.
From that initial high school experience I have come to learn that our initial desires for change can be an internal desire given to us so to take the journey and seek out the guidance we need to move forward and to achieve something far more than we could possibly understand at the time. Yes, experiencing this truth back in high school has stayed with me throughout the years.
Moving on from high school through college to the professional world I found that as I learned and experienced more, I naturally shared with others simply for the excitement of doing so. As a surety bonding agent, I often found myself teaching classes at national association meetings, taking calls from other agents to guide them through shortcuts or new systems or ways to handle different facets of the business we shared. As I changed industries I continued to teach and coach others regardless of the position I took on at the time. I have come to thoroughly enjoy seeing others take what I could offer and make what they are doing better for themselves. Seeing others grow and prosper on their own through what I could offer has often reminded me of what my coach, Chet, back at Hank’s Gym had done for me. He gave me the tools that I chose to use to lift myself up.
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle said that we all do what we do for the sake of happiness. Some people find that their current attempts at striving for happiness may actually bring a great deal of dissatisfaction. At other times, some people may just feel stuck and need an outside source to guide them out of it. Still, some people may just need a little calibration to the one or several areas of their lives. Whatever the reason may be that a person seeks out a coach, in the end it is to achieve that highest level of peace and happiness in themselves through what they do themselves. Being able to assist them in this process is exactly why I became a life and career coach.
Larry Monks is a Bonfire Life and Career Coach.