Episode 6 - Tina Marie Talks With Certified Life Coach Larry Monks

Tina Marie sits with another beautiful soul who has allowed the journey of his life to lead him to exactly where he is now. And that is in touch with his passion and his awareness of giving back and contributing everything that he's experienced and what his heart says is needed in our world today. Listen as Tina Marie speaks with Larry Monks.

Larry is a Certified Life and Career Coach with years of experience working in the criminal justice system, academia, teen and young adult mentoring programs and career exploring programs. He is a practitioner of Kandampa Buddhist Meditation and is a sub-deacon in the Liberal Catholic Church which i reforest scripture esoterically and sees a progression of a soul through many lives where human beings are to become sons or daughters of God at some point, which can also be interpreted as becoming the best versions of themselves.

Find Larry :
Ready for Life Podcast
Mystical Christianity Podcast

BONFIRE COACH


Transcript

Tina Marie (00:01):

Hello. And welcome. We are getting the privilege of sitting with another beautiful soul who has allowed the journey of his life to lead him to exactly where he is now. And that is in touch with his passion and his awareness of giving back and contributing everything that he's experienced and what his heart says is needed in our world today. So thank you so much for joining us. Larry monks, to be our guest here. I can't wait to dive into the journey of your life and how you've literally allowed the pain, trauma awareness unfolding of your life to light your life in a whole new way so that you can be a powerful being, helping others. Thank you so much.

Larry (00:39):

Hey, it's great being here. Thank you very much. Tina Marie.

Tina Marie (00:42):

Awesome. And Larry, you're a certified life coach and a trainer and a speaker and content producer. Then you've, you've allowed this journey of your life to fill you in that way. So let's begin at a place cause you and I've had conversations and it, it, wasn't always easy. You were born into a beautiful, wonderful, very supportive family. And you were diagnosed at a young age with something that rocked your world, rocked your family's world and really transformed the way you needed to see the safety and, and life in general. Could you take us to that place?

Larry (01:17):

Yeah, I tell you what absolutely. I was. When I was young, I had a tack a cardia first off when I was born. And that was an interesting story. According to my father, of course, I don't remember anything, but he had to literally drive me from one hospital to the other on the night of my birth. He said to get me a cross. So for the first several years of my life up until I'd say maybe seven, eight years old parents are very concerned about me doing any type of, of activity. And of course, a seven, eight year old boy and even younger, what, what does a child like to do, but play okay. So that was minimized out of fear of what would happen. So I was taking medication for them and that was kind of fascinating because with that medication I always had to come in and get checked. Well, lo and behold, it just so happened that that went away. So that was gone. So that was a wonderful thing.

Tina Marie (02:23):

People know what is tachycardia so they can understand what that experience was.

Larry (02:26):

There you go. Yeah. So what happens is a tech a is when your heart increases in speed of sporadically. Okay. On its own. I mean, so the heart rate would just jump for whatever reason it did and that's something I had from birth. And so there was a concern, as my parents told me when I was born, I was blue. Okay. Because of this. So they had to deal with it. And my father used to tell him, yeah, yeah. And so, but that was fine, then it just went away. So that was a wonderful thing.

Tina Marie (03:02):

And then you were also diagnosed with childhood diabetes.

Larry (03:07):

No, I have one diabetes. Juvenile. Yeah. Yeah. So juvenile,

Tina Marie (03:12):

Juvenile diabetes. Yes.

Larry (03:15):

Yeah. And that's the first memory that I actually have. Yeah, it really is the first memory that I can recall because I was in a room and I can remember seeing my mother's face with great concern. And then I had my brothers come in and my sister come in and they were just looking at me and I wondered what was going on. I thought it was very strange, but I'm in the hospital room and I just remember a plastic type cover up. Some sort of, maybe it was from wherever I was two years old and, and I didn't know what was going on, but all of a sudden things were changing. And then it seemed to me that it went back to normal, except now I had to take shots. So there you go. Oh, that's a joyful part. A youngster, right? Oh yeah. So I had to take shots and we had them learn how to test and all that kind of thing. So yeah. Yeah. That was a, that was a fun experience. Your attitude. Some, it, it was one where I just learned how I had to step back and do things just differently. And so just learn to be careful of things. Yeah.

Tina Marie (04:30):

And growing up, did you ever feel that that difference inside yourself either got certain attention that, you know, you were broken at some level and I share this because you know, our listeners, this resonates inside of each of our souls, whenever there's this, the seasons of becoming that we have is each one of us is going to have our own story where we go through those trials and tribulations and you know, you and I have had this discussion that it's more like the hero's journey, right. We have to have these for whatever reason in this human life, these places where that, which is against us, feels like it's arduous or it singles us out, or it makes us feel like we don't fit in. And then we get through these and we do lead to that next level of our life, where we see the beauty of it. So growing up you know, was it, you know, where you just one of the guys in school, you know, and everything was great, or were there other things that you started realizing as a youngster that you had to get through?

Larry (05:32):

I got to tell ya, unfortunately, I was not allowed to be one of the guys. Okay. That was, that was very disheartening now and in school. Yeah. Great. Okay. I go to school, play with all the kids, you know, that was fantastic, but all my brothers were doing sports and that was pulled back from me. It was at a fear for my parents. I don't blame them. They just didn't know. But any of the the more aggressive sports, which I really wanted to participate in because I saw my brothers do it. My sister was very athletic as well, but I couldn't do that. I was almost forbidden from doing it. And so I found that to be that's when I first started to realize, Oh, wow, there's something going on here. There's there, there's something that I have to overcome because I wanted to prove to the, to my parents that, Hey I can do this.

Larry (06:29):

You don't need to hold me back. And they, it was a fear that they had. And so that lasted all the way up through high school. When I finally was able to convince them that, yes, I could do this. And so my sophomore year of high school, they let me play football. And then in the second to last game of the season, I broke my femur and spent three and a half months in traction. So it was almost as if mom and dad were saying, I told you. And I said, well, that's not diabetes related.

Tina Marie (07:03):

Yeah. Breaking a femur, which is a big deal. Had nothing to his health conditions.

Larry (07:09):

No. So it was just a freak accident during the game. So it was, it, it was funny, but I could see it in my eye. And now I even heard it from my father when he said, you see, we didn't want to have to go through this. This is the thing. And I thought, Oh no. Now I'm going to fall back again.

Tina Marie (07:26):

Yeah. And we could have that mindset or that lower level mind speak to us in that way, no matter what's going on in our life. And, and it'd be there and try to keep us safe. Right. It just does. I can see what you're doing, trying to keep it.

Larry (07:40):

But the thing is, is see, there was that, that desire to take care of me while I was growing that inadvertently also held me back. Okay. For example while I would attend school and do my studies and do this, I, I never saw up here, me being on my own and that

Tina Marie (08:06):

Confidence even like,

Larry (08:07):

Right, right. And so that started to develop at a, at an early teenage age. Okay. And so while I was growing up I remember, you know it, it was time for going to college. Great. You need to go to college, we're going to keep the in town and you could live here at home. Well, that's, that's one of the things that's almost becoming a type of crossing over a coming of age event for, for many young adults, not all but many. And so 

Tina Marie (08:42):

Well, it's like leaving the nest really, you know, it's like flying away from the nest and getting outside of the town that you grew up in.

Larry (08:49):

Exactly. And the thing is I sensed, I'm never going to be, to be on my own. Wow. Okay. And that was kind of an interesting thing. So I did. And then finally, just to get out, I had to, again, in my twenties, over 21 years of age, almost beg and plead, please let me out, let me, let me go. But the thing is, is that there was quite a bit of just basic management. Okay. That I never learned. Okay. Life management of life, basic things, you know, basic budget. You know when I went shopping for food, I would go and buy all the, all the stuff that people think that young men in college would buy. You know, it's just ramen noodles, ramen noodles. And I would listen to the other guys with whom I was living with. I was living with in a house with some other, other young guys who were also going to university of Houston. And so I just kind of said, Oh, they know I'll follow them. And of course not always the healthiest way of living. But, and, and so that's what I did. And I found that to be troubling because at that point I still wasn't prepared and wasn't ready being out on my own. Okay.

Tina Marie (10:11):

Those things all Mount up to, you know, that internal conversation that we have that many, you know, the people outside of our own mind, don't get to hear. They don't hear that, that mind of doubt, that self-doubt lack of self-trust the, the fear that's in the world. Like, what if I fail? What if I fall? What if I, it doesn't work out. Right. Exactly. Do you remember that conversation inside your own mind?

Larry (10:34):

Oh, often, often. I could tell you that, even though I was in college, I kept thinking, I don't know how to live outside. I don't know how to live on my own. That's something that was always going on in my head. This is great. I'm getting a wonderful education and I'm making good grades, but just basic things in life. I am not sure of will people take advantage of my lack of knowledge. I was concerned about that, you know, all of those types of things. And so I knew in my mind that I was not ready to be out on my own. Right.

Tina Marie (11:11):

Shifted what shifted for you? What brought you, is there any moment in life that, that brought you that level of confidence, that level of knowing where did you find yourself?

Larry (11:20):

Well, I got to tell you, it was a, it was a funny thing. In the, in the guard, the national guard, the Texas military forces, they have a division for it, that's called the Texas state guard. Okay. And so I heard about that and I went ahead and applied. And at first they said, no, because juvenile diabetic. So they turned me down. And so I reapplied this time without telling my parents, I went ahead and got all kinds of doctors, letters, et cetera, and so forth. And they said, okay, we'll bring you in, but you got to make it through the training. And we don't know if you can. So I said, I will. And that's it. So when I went in, they had the forewarning of the initial entry training, the basic training basically knowing that I had a condition.

Larry (12:16):

Right. And so I went ahead and entered and I was going to plug through and I just said, I'm going to make it through this. And yeah, there were some challenges and it was hard. And there were some times when I had to, Oh, got to stop. Take a quick break. Chad, okay. I'm ready to get back in. My goal was to not be different from anyone else. I'm not going to be different from anyone. And so everything we did, I just stuck to it. I stuck it out, ran it, ran it through. And when I left that, when we finally got out and I was active in the guard, that's when I realized, Hey, I could do things. So then the mindset started to change from, I don't know if I can to just, just do it. It almost sounds like an advertisement, but just, and identifying what needs to be addressed. Okay. Several things needed to be addressed. Okay. So I had to identify, and then I had to work towards those. And so by going through the process in the guard, it allowed me to recognize within myself, you know what they say, I can't do this. I can.

Tina Marie (13:25):

Awesome. And then there was that inner calling inside of you that, that had to rise up absolutely. And own yourself in a whole new way. That honestly, it sounds like, you know, with all due respect, your parents couldn't have taught you

Larry (13:39):

These things. No, my parents wouldn't have, and it's not a lack of love it, what it is is it was fear and it was a uncertainty and then they were also running their own business. So they were very busy doing that and it just inadvertently happened. Okay. So the mindset for them was, well, you know what, when he's ready then I'm sure he'll leave. I'm sure he'll be out there, but in the mindset or at the time being, let's just go ahead and, and keep him here. But the thing is, that's prolonging the adolescents. And even though the intention was nothing harmful, right. It was the assumption, the effect was still there. That's right.

Tina Marie (14:24):

And so this is, you know, you've had this beautiful life of many different careers and, and things, and, and I've, you know, you've grown and achieved and been successful through different places in your life. And then now you've come to a part in your career where you've, where you want to give back to the youth. You want to help them. Cause I, I know that you've seen something that is prevalent in our day in time in our culture that you, what is that?

Larry (14:53):

Well, there are several things to begin with. There was a time when I was teaching, I branched off from the family. I started to teach a driving while intoxicated course. Okay. It was a requirement. And while I was doing that, I noticed the majority of those who were coming in were teenagers. Okay. And so that got my attention. I worked for Aspen education group, which had a rehabilitation center and I noticed the same thing from across the country. And that's this, there, there is a tendency whereby I'm noticing a prolonged adolescence. That's, that's being established. Okay. Think about this.

Tina Marie (15:37):

There is once

Larry (15:37):

A time, let's say in the Jewish culture where you have the bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. Okay. You overcome certain things at the age of 13. If you do these certain requirements, then you transcend from being a child to an adult. That's at 13. Okay. Let's take a look at the Hispanic culture that keeps saying Yetta. And when I was teaching high school, I would ask several of the young ladies, they said, Oh, you had your Canson Yetta. What does that mean? Oh, becoming a lady. And then I'd say, Oh, so you are now a full fledged adult. Oh no, no, no, no. Interesting. Okay. We have many of these in, in many cultures, we had many of these becoming a man becoming a lady or, you know, becoming an adult and the teenage years. Okay. And that's like a ceremonial

Tina Marie (16:28):

Passage.

Larry (16:29):

It's a passage. That's exactly what we don't have that. And what happens is we were still growing in our teenage years to become physical adults. And remember being in an adult used to be a little bit younger. We've created a wonderful system whereby we want you to be well-trained. And so we pushed up the age of becoming an adult, but we left behind the transition of actual recognizing I'm no longer a child. I am a full fledged adult. What we have is we have many young people and I used to ask this of them. Now, what about, are you an adult? When would you consider yourself an adult? And what I found was fascinating after asking hundreds of teenagers, high school students, this question, they would always say the same thing they would say about 25, 26. Interesting. Yeah. So notice how we moved from 13, 14, 15, 15, 16, 18.

Larry (17:31):

We have 18 and now 25, 26, nothing said, okay. And so what happens is we have many in that aspect who, in their mindset, they're not really sure if they're ready to go on. So they stay at home either for several things. Well, I'm going to save some money and I'm going to, I'm going to just make sure I'm ready before I get out there. Unfortunately for some, they never move on to becoming more responsible and more independent for themselves. They still hold on to that adolescent mindset, even though they may be working. Okay. It's just, it's an inadvertent thing that has happened. So that's what I've noticed.

Tina Marie (18:14):

And what do you think contributes to that? If we were to look at the different variables in a young person's life that contribute to the staying under the household roof and feeling in the, in this, like, it sounds like a limbo of I'm an adult physically yet mentally, this lack of confidence is there and I'm not taking those needed steps to live on my own. What are, what are the variables that you've evaluated that contribute to that?

Larry (18:43):

Okay. Several things. One is this crossover, okay. We need to have this crossover. Secondly, it's the inability to actually handle all areas of life that are what is, is essentially adult skills. And they're simple. They're not taught in school. Okay. Now some parents may teach one or two of these, you know, how to maintain a car maintain a basic checkbook. Okay. But not everything. Okay. It's not across the board that we see as required skills. There's, there's another part of our human being that needs to develop. Okay. We have our physical part. Okay. We grow, I'm no longer at a tiny time. Okay. we have our intelligent part, our academic part, where we grow in some degree. And granted academia was good to realize that we need to grow in so many areas, but in, unfortunately it didn't reach just the basic adult skills that are needed. But the one thing is, is that what we call the spirit, which is affecting the mind it is held back. And so then you have the spirit of the young adult becoming independent is restrained. Okay. So therefore that doesn't grow. And what we see is we see a prolonged way of behavior. Okay. Okay.

Tina Marie (20:17):

Whatever that behavior is exhibiting itself, what's it look like in a young adult when they're

Larry (20:22):

Okay. I'll give you, I'll give you several things. Where someone is in their young twenties and they're still going out and acting like a a young, wild teenager getting out and staying out hours of the night. Okay. Living that way. Another thing is still staying at home, right. Not handling all of their bills. Okay. not considering, not planning ahead for the future. Okay. If I rest a year, if I saved my money here. Okay. If I'm on my own here with my apartment, with what I can afford, not always having to go back and ask mom or dad for money. If I plan for buying ahead, if I plan for a good future, if I plan for actually sharing a life with someone special, that special heart. Okay. And really considering that rather than, Oh, I'm just going to go out and just go out with anyone. Okay. All those things together we're seeing are not being developed. And that's, that's kind of a part of the spirit. Okay. That also affects the mind. And so, yeah,

Tina Marie (21:34):

I've also, I've also seen where they're not holding down jobs or they're keeping jobs or understanding how to interact with leadership or management or have different work ethics that are developed trust and connection with a cohort and in a work environment. Have you also examined that?

Larry (21:52):

I got to tell you something. In fact, there is a a young family. They have a a young lady she's 27 years old. She just started working for the first time at 25. Okay. And her mother and father said, you finally have to get out, okay, you have to do this. You have to go on your own. Well, the thing is, is then she has gotten a job. She has held on to it for a few weeks. And then she didn't like something. So she will argue as if she was arguing with a teacher in high school. And this is what, this is what the father has told me. So she has already had nine jobs because her inability to realize that no, some things we have to get through and we have to work on our communication. And if there is something that's concerning, there are proper ways to go about it.

Larry (22:46):

And several times she has walked out of a job. What happened is, is that she wanted to get married. She got married. And unfortunately right now, she's not happy with the marriage. And so she's just ready to just end it. But they've only been married three months. And so there's the marriage, there's the jobs. There's these types of things. And her story is not unique. It's not just her. What happens is I've seen this amongst many young adults. I've seen many young adult men who don't realize that when they're married this is a commitment, this is a bond. This is a lot. They don't even understand what love is. Then what happens is in the career area. They're not able to hold down a job because, Oh, I don't like that. I'm just going to go to something else. Okay. I've heard that many times.

Tina Marie (23:39):

And do you think, sorry to interrupt. Do you think that, you know, we want to look at the factors here, at least I'm, I'm curious, do you think that at some level, you know, we are, you know, cause we're the adults breeding or raising these kiddos and what of culture is allowing this to be a predominant way of being in our young adult population?

Larry (24:05):

Well, I can tell you as, as parents, I think we've been so busy doing our own things in one aspect where we've assumed, okay, they're at this age, it's they can handle themselves.

Tina Marie (24:22):

Yeah. So we've made assumptions,

Larry (24:24):

We've made assumptions. We didn't mean to, but unfortunately in some areas of life, either we didn't have the time as parents train our children and certain things, the education system was not able to train. And so we are so into art, things, working, et cetera, we haven't had time to, to spend helping foster our young people to become young, independent adults.

Tina Marie (24:54):

Yeah. I could see that. I can, I can see that. And I'm hoping, you know, it's almost like being high on, hopium hoping it's all working out, but not really taking any measurements or 

Larry (25:06):

Right. I know, allowing it to transcend over. Okay. Let's, let's think back in the the early days when somebody would work in the family business and then they would slowly learn a family business and come up. Okay. Maybe the mother and father was doing some other type of work, but they participated with them in some way or else he shared with them. Well, we don't have that type of environment society today. And so it's distant, it's separate.

Tina Marie (25:35):

We also don't have home acts, you know, there were certain, there were some certain courses inside of my upbringing and I'm supposing yours as well, that were just inherently there were required. And in, in the curriculum of being able to graduate that you take, and I remember there was a, a magazine that they gave us a subscription to that taught us different things. And, and we would read them. It was just a simple little magazine, I think it was called home-ec. And then we'd have quizzes in there and things like that. And then we even had a study group where we could cause in the home-ec classroom, there was a kitchen in the home-ec classroom. There was sewing machines, you know, then in the homework classroom there, we even had field trips to the automotive establishment to understand, I remember changing a tire and, and, and doing my oil or checking my oil, not, I didn't at that age, we didn't change it, but I changed my oil since then. And all of these things, you changing wiper blades. I mean, it sounds simple yet. I remember going in being excited about learning these things and learning these next level of just life and in our, as a sophomore in high school, and I was excited about it. And then now I hear that home X and you're at you're, you're a teacher. So is it truly out of school? Was there no preparation for just life skills inside of our education?

Larry (26:59):

That's absolutely true. It really is. And I couldn't believe it was removed. I mean, think about this. Oh, one of the important things I learned to do also in the garden was just how to sew. Okay. Why was that so important? You know, anything could happen? We ripped something. What we've done is these basic skills have been removed whereby now I can't do it. I can't do it on my own. I don't know, but that, I don't know how does affect the ability to actually stand up and take charge. Okay. And that's the thing. And so we, we need to return many of these skills from just basic home-ec we call it basic home-ec I call it life ex you know, economic life living. I it's necessary skills for life. Let's not call it home-ec anymore. It's necessary skills for life. Okay. For being independent. And self-sufficient right.

Tina Marie (27:56):

And so you're part of our program here at bonfire that we've developed that has brought all your background in all your aptitudes and skillsets of a teacher, you know, your life of these, you know, overcoming these places where even at some place, you said, you've shared with me that, you know, being bullied and playing small and not wanting to be seen, right. Not wanting to stand out the lack of confidence in your triumph of yourself, through life and developing a program. Now that is to work with these young adults and help the parents, right. We're helping parents find this partnership so that their young adults have these attitudes and beliefs in themselves and develop this competence strategically through a program. Could you share with us what that program is and everything that's been brought in for these young adults?

Larry (28:47):

Yeah. Yeah. The name of the program is ready for life to allow their young adult children to actually be ready to go out on their own, to have the confidence and the skills necessary to do it. For many parents, sometimes it's recognizing what it is, parents. We know there's something that needs to be done. Okay. So we want to help the parents prepare their children to be able to handle all of the life skills that we talked about. Everything that's in a home economics, but more than okay. To be able to develop a budget, to be able to plan ahead, to be able to know what's necessary when purchasing a car, buying a home, maintaining a home, getting an apartment, getting an apartment, of course. So you have to start there, all of these necessary skills and all of these things that are a part of our modern adult life. So then two things, one, the young adults do know how to do it, but also they have the mindset of, I can do this.

Tina Marie (29:54):

Right. Cause we, we take them through the experience of actually doing it.

Larry (30:00):

They do it themselves. That's right. We don't do it anymore.

Tina Marie (30:03):

Right. And it's also built around a cohort of other young adults so that they can establish a very positive, healthy community. That's there to support each other.

Larry (30:16):

Absolutely. You know, think about this. Let, let's go back to the times long ago where you would have young adults becoming of age, let's say, and the tribe. Right. Right. So essentially they've become a part of the tribe. Okay. And high school, some students will joke around and not treat it so seriously because they don't see this as actually preparing them for the end. However, here, Oh, this was important. So now we have our tribe, our family, our community, whatever we want to call it, but you're working together and you're with a cohort you're with someone about your age. And so you're going through it together where there's no looking down, there's no shame. There's none of that. It's no competition. Yeah. We can do this, no competition we're in this together. Right. Absolutely.

Tina Marie (31:07):

It's awesome. Some of the things I know have been developed in the program that I absolutely am excited about. Like you've mentioned the, the knowing how to navigate the, a rental lease and discussions with getting your own apartment and then even what is necessary inside of the apartment to have a life that's comforting and, and life giving. And, and then the operating and maintaining a vehicle and understanding how to even purchase a vehicle and understand the importance of your credit score and banking and an understanding, keep your money flow going. And because, you know, I worked with this young male once and he he thought, because the bank balance showed he had money there that that money was available and he'd forgotten that. But all these other things that need before and where'd the money go.

Larry (31:54):

Yeah, that's right. You know, balancing a checkbook with our real checkbook. Okay. And then doing it online. Let me tell you those are, are very necessary skills. And then also planning ahead a wonderful thing of saving. It's a, it's a wonderful new thing. And you know, that's kind of a fascinating, also issue. Did you know that the majority of the, of consumer marketing about 70% of consumer marketing is aimed at young adults and teenagers, which is kind of fascinating. So, you know, you want to buy things. Absolutely. We don't want to buy wonderful and the latest and greatest nothing wrong with that, but it's planning for that planning ahead saving and all of this rather than just, Oh, it says a hundred dollars in my bank account, great. I'm going to go spend 99.

Tina Marie (32:41):

Right. Or they get themselves in trouble with debt and credit cards and understanding what that really means to us. Long-Term so and then we also have a segment in there is developing healthy relationships. And even how do you date in a way that you have healthy boundaries upfront communications and don't get yourself in a situation that could be harmful to, to your mentality and your emotional state. So I know that's something that you're excited about too. Could you speak toward the dating formula, the dating plan, and we have in there for our young adults?

Larry (33:13):

Well, I tell you what, it's, it's several aspects with it. Okay. for example because of the feeling of unworthiness, some people may put themselves in a situation, some young adults they're trying to grow up, they're trying to feel worthy. They're trying to, to prove something to themselves and inadvertently, they put themselves in a dangerous situation and maybe they don't recognize it. Maybe they don't know it is dangerous. On the other end, we may have some trying to get control of their life, to where they become controllers and they want to force something that isn't natural, that isn't real and isn't there. And so then sometimes we have young adults who enter into something that could possibly develop, but because the mindset is still an adolescent mindset, it doesn't okay. Or it's it prolongs at the same adolescent stage. Okay. And so we have those three areas, for example, where we have people for different reasons are in here, but still it's to learn how to enter into develop and maintain a healthy relationship with another. And the thing is, is that that's also an inexperience or that's also something that some young adults have never learned. And so they don't know what to do. And I've seen some very professional, young adults where they earn a good living, not be able to maintain a relationship because of other areas in their life that they haven't developed

Tina Marie (34:54):

Or lacking friendships. And they'd love to have some solid friendships and feeling that anxiety of how do I create friendships? What are they going to expect from me? What do I do as a friend, we move out of the high school realm where friendships are sometimes forced within us because we're within proximity of people or whatever we get outside of that structured. It's already designed for us curriculum and, you know, just way of being inside of a school system. And we're outside on our own. Now I've seen so many young adults that just simply stay in their apartment. They go to work, they come home, they stay in their apartment and they have this immense amount of fear of social interactions and awkward or being taken advantage of.

Larry (35:34):

Absolutely. And so we want to help adults do this and it's necessary to have good, healthy friendships. Okay. This is, this is who we are as human beings. We are a communal group of work, middle species. And so we need this. And so we also need to learn to develop good, healthy friendships for our own wellbeing. And then we in turn, contribute this also back to our friends. And so we receive and give, and then that giving and receiving, wow, we, we grow together. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Tina Marie (36:08):

Yeah. And so I can feel your excitement for the ready for life program. It's something that has been you know, whenever you attach to this and, and, and you're the director of it now, it's, it's the passion that you have of everything that you bring to the young adults is so palpable your heart and your soul just sings with this. And I, I know that you're here to help the parents who are saying, I need some strategic help pipe. I've done the best I can. I don't know what else to do. Right. And also, especially there for the young adults who are not knowing where to turn you know, who can I respect and trust who can be a mentor and a guide to my life so that they can return to their own hero's journey. You know, we want our young adults to go through those trials and tribulations that they've had in their life. Yes, they will be part of our life, every single one of us on the planet. And that there is a way to come through that, right. And find ourselves and have confidence and trust in ourselves and realize that the obstacles ahead of our life are not going to do us in. They're not going to hold us back. We now believe in our own power. Yes, yes.

Larry (37:17):

The thing is, is then they don't have to complain, well, I never learned this or you don't know this, or I can't do this. What that is is that's, that's a type of screaming out. I want this. So let's, let's transition this from a negative, into a positive where we can have that higher level thinking and know, Hey, I can do this. Definitely. I could do this with others. And I'm a part of something greater than myself. Yeah, absolutely.

Tina Marie (37:45):

How beautiful. And we're also looking at teaming with employers that will allow, you know, they're, they're going to first want the young adults that have come through the ready for life program, because they will have learned these aptitudes. These soft skills is communication. Ways of being the respect, restored and leadership and authority and understanding all they bring. And so it gives them a leg up. And you know, this advantage over the people in their communities that have not had this program or gone through it. Correct.

Larry (38:15):

Absolutely. You see, once employers realize that we have some people that are ready to live in adult life, like an adult, then they're responsible they're loyal. They will do their duty. They're respectful. They have, they have a thing of honor and integrity. Okay. And the thing is, is that that's something that I've heard many employers say with regards to younger people, young adults is, I don't know if I could trust them or, you know, there's always something going on. And so when, when these young adults can develop these virtues of integrity, honor loyalty and doing their duty and complete respect. Absolutely. And and then basically having the courage to come in, listen, I made a mistake. I would need to let you know, you know, that's a great thing when someone can come to me when I was an employer and say, you know what? I made a mistake, Hey, thank you for telling me, okay, let's address it. Let's take care of this now. And then they're open and honest. And then as an employer, I say, that's an honest young person. That's an honest young adult. I trust that young adult

Tina Marie (39:26):

Leaders we want and desperately need in our young adult population. And so the ready for life ready for my life program. And our coaching is something that you're the director and the head of. And so how do they find you? How do they reach out? What is the next step for someone who's listening to this and saying, I want to know more. I want to dive in, how can you help?

Larry (39:49):

Well, I tell you what, we have the website coming out, it's ready for life.com so they can go there. My name is Larry monks. I can be reached through there. And so my email is there and it is Larry monks@bonfirecoaching.com. So please, I'm going to encourage you to go to ready for life.com and we have the information that's there, but I am ready to answer any questions, whether it's a young adult who has a question or an adult has a question, a parent has a question. And so let's engage, let's talk

Tina Marie (40:27):

Beautiful. And we also have a phone number of (713) 332-3858. And we work with young adults from all over the nation. And even in other countries, we have experienced there too. So if you know that you're either a parent saying, I'd love to learn more about the program, or you're a young adult yourself, and someone has put your ears into this recording, then do reach out. We're here for you. If you want to be some part of something bigger, something amazing that is growing and it's so needed. The Rite of passage is sometimes a handout to a tribe. That's here to support you and help you see the beauty of life and all that it can be for you. Your, your, your future is amazing and we're here to shed the light on it, right?

Larry (41:13):

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Tina Marie (41:15):

Thank you so much for being our guest today, today. It's, it's awesome. I love sharing conversation with you. You've come through so many beautiful places in your life and, and allowed what you've learned and how you've grown and, and the insights and wisdom that you gathered to help the next person who is ready to say, help me find that same light in my life. Thank you so much for being our guest today.

Larry (41:37):

Thank you very much. Tina Marie.


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Episode 7 - Tina Marie speaks with Mindset Strategist, Sean Osborn

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Episode 5 - Tina Marie talks with Business Coach and Consultant Jeff Newkirk