#69: Tips to Create a Work Life Balance - Time Management 101
Description:
Have you ever felt like to are rushing and running late? Do you get tired of trying to keep all the plates spinning? Creating and maintaining a work-life balance is a real challenge in today’s ever-demanding world. How do we best manage our time? How do we keep healthy boundaries? In this episode, Tina Marie shares her own tips for time management and creating a work-life balance.
Bio:
Some of my favorite teachers have been random people who share wisdom at the perfect time as if the Universe gave me a wink and asked,” Are you listening?”
Despite trying to fill my insatiable hunger for growth with degrees and certifications I willingly remain a student, always sitting on the edge, ears, and heart wide open to experience more of life.
The bio here could be pages long sharing of times I’ve spoken to hundreds of thousands of people from world stages, books written, lives connected and the one thing I want you to absolutely know is that I am like you.
I am on this journey with you and here, on the podcast, we connect. I honor your journey, I honor your spirit and I honor that grand Universal connector that has brought us together.
Namaste. - Tina Marie St.Cyr
Links:
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bonfire_coaching/
Email: hello@bonfirecoaching.com
Website: http://BonfireCoaching.com
Transcription:
(00:00):
Hello, I'm Tina Marie St.Cyr, And welcome to Light Your Life, the podcast. I believe our dreams have energy calling and purpose, and that when we move in their direction, our lives become even more joyful, fulfilled, and effortless. This podcast gives you insights to the strategies our guests use to overcome obstacles and manifest their dreams in business, career, relationships, and in life. Listen, to find new levels of energy, perspective, and courage, your journey to light your life begins now.
(00:38):
Hello and welcome back to the Light Your Life podcast. I am Tina Marie, St.Cyr, And so great to be with you today. What I'd love to chat about is how do we maintain or even create a work-life balance. And I want to give you some time management 1 0 1 skills and ways that I have learned to master time usage. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? <Laugh>. So there's this wonderful term out in the marketplace, <laugh>, it's called work-life balance. And so many of us are striving to reach this. And so let's check in with ourselves and see what we're truly wanting to achieve and where does that balance happen, and then how can we renegotiate with ourselves and then with others in order to achieve that sense of peace, fulfillment and less rushing around with our time and less feeling overwhelmed. Are you in with me? Yes.
(01:37):
So the problem is just that so many times we feel rushing from point A to point B. You know, I see people speeding in their cars and I'm like, slow down. And I, I walk every morning and there was a gentleman Sunday morning that was driving a car past our walking trail. It crosses the street and he was clearly speeding, was not paying attention that he just passed a pedestrian's walk area that intersects with this major street. And there were people, there's a family with a stroller that was stepping into that and he didn't slow down and nothing bad happened. However, I saw that he, I don't think he even knew that that family was there. And then he, he pulled into a parking lot, just about a hundred feet away from the walking path. And my thoughts were, he's running late for a meeting, running late for a breakfast or a date or something like that, right?
(02:39):
And so his mind was not focused on the environment, he was focused on what was propelling him because he was late. So when we're rushing or when we have this thought that we're going to be late, it can create blinders on ourselves that can result in things that you know would completely change the course of your life. I had a neighbor, her name's Kathy, and what a delightful soul. And this one day she was crossing the street and leaving a a little boutique and she got run over and she died from that. So whenever I'm seeing people not present within their vehicle, it's a personal, you know, wake up, like, please wake up. Please stay present. Because rushing and allowing the lateness of whatever's causing us to feel late and have priority over our lives takes our attention away. So that's one of the problems that we encounter that we're needing for a work-life balance.
(03:39):
And rushing can be in rushing on a project, getting it out the door rushing could be just simply rushing in the morning to get ready. And the time management skills we have at the very beginning of our day rushing could be rushing to leave work and get home to the family, or so many different places where we can feel like we're rushing. Now, haste makes waste and its waste of not only our energy and our time and our focus, but it's, it's a waste of our, our presence with our life. And it's definitely a waste of our ability to ever feel happiness. So this is a, a big thing that we need in our lives. And today, what we're listening to here I'll be sharing is some strategies and techniques that I, I hope you could start to employ in your own life and yield those results.
(04:27):
The other thing that happens whenever we do not have time management or this work-life balance is that we find ourselves either in our own heads or verbally with other people apologizing. We could apologize for being late. We can apologize for rushing making mistakes. We can apologize in so many different facets, and that feels like a very powerless pace place to be. Although we can humbly apologize as long as we're learning from whatever that shortcoming was that created that apology moment and grow through it and not keep it as a pattern or a habit. Cuz none of us start off our day saying, wow, I'd love to feel bad today. No, we don't. We wanna feel great. We wanna feel happy, fulfilled, presence and alive. So this time management piece of our lives is important. It's really important. Anytime we're late to something, it's truly a disrespect of ourselves and our energy because we're gonna beat ourselves up inside of our heads.
(05:26):
We're going to avail ourselves to possible criticism or, you know, places where other people are possibly disappointed in us or we're failing in some way. And we also disrespect others in their time, especially if we're leaving other people waiting, right? Not wanting to have that happen. I know for myself, whenever I feel like I am either ma, having somebody wait, I'm gonna call ahead, I'm gonna text ahead. I'm gonna do something to say, Hey, I'm running five minutes late, I'm running 10 minutes late, so sorry, I'll be there as soon as I can. And that's a respect of the the other person. Having them understand that we're checking in and letting them know. And then whenever, you know, it's the tables have turned and I'm the one waiting and I don't hear that communication back, that's where that those feelings of disrespect start to come in.
(06:10):
You know, you've been there as well, right? Another way that we give our power away with time management is that we agree to do too many things. Who can raise their hand on this one? So we say yes to so many things, cramming those expectations into our day, into our week, into our month, into our life, wherever that is. And then whenever we are failing to come through on getting those things done, we start to feel bad. There's an avoidance mechanism that gets activated inside of us to avoid the pain of the conversation because we're failing or not keeping our word. And you know, oftentimes that's where that rushing comes in, right? We've crammed way too many expectations of ourselves into a time period. We don't track time or the amount of time it really takes to achieve something accurately, and then we're behind. And that behind feeling is so painful, so painful.
(07:07):
So what we wanna do is not agree. I mean, we're, we're adults. We know, we know when we're agreeing to too many things, check in with ourselves. I think I'm agreeing to this and it, the truth is, I don't think I'm gonna come through on it or I need more time to get it done. So the forward communications of negotiation are required. Check-In with ourselves before we say yes or while we're saying yes to something and really get a, a framework and then add some bumper time on things because distractions happen and life happens. And if we're agreeing to things that are too tight in a timeframe, or if we're not managing our time well before that thing is due, then we're gonna feel as though, you know, one, we're gonna have a poor work product or result. And then second, we're definitely gonna feel stressed out.
(07:51):
So habits of cramming too many things in, we need to check in with ourselves and stop doing that. If it's a morning routine that you, you know, feed the pets, walk the dog fix breakfast, clean up, get the kids dressed, get 'em out of the house. Make sure that you're cleaned and dressed and getting outta the house at the same level, right? All those things tend to take more time than we often give toward them. So waking up earlier, going to bed earlier, negotiating with ourselves on this, these time needs is required. Give ourselves a little bit more time or partner with a spouse to, you know, break it up. You do this part of it, I'll do this part of it. Tag team, right? There's solutions everywhere where we're managing our time more effectively. And just simply noticing where am I rushing or where am I making the other people in my life?
(08:44):
Also rush because sometimes it doesn't involve just us, it could involve our kids and we're making 'em rush to get their shoes on, get all their books, get their codes, all the types of stuff. Get in the car. How was that Mom? Get in the car. <Laugh>, what's taking you so long? <Laugh>. So we started storing all the shoes in the utility room, the washroom by the back door so that we could, I could make sure they're all pairs that are identical, they're matching. And that whenever that was the last thing that they needed, I'm helping 'em with our shoes, getting in the car, <laugh>. So there's other solutions on how to organize our day in order to create more efficiency, not only for ourselves, but all the people around us. So another place where we damage our work-life balance or create haste. And, you know, stress and strain in the work-life balance is when we try to prove ourselves, when there's a part of us wanting other people's approval, we want to be the one that's on time.
(09:47):
And sometimes we can push that boundary and not be on time, or we wanna be the person getting things done. We wanna be the person, you know, you, you name it. Dependable, show up. You know, the person that can fix things, the hero. Those are all great things to want to be. However, when it's at the cost of our work-life balance, we're going too much too hard saying yes to so many things, getting ourselves overwhelmed because the truth is typically work, work-life balance is not about the outside environment doing it. It's about the inside environment of ourselves agreeing to things and doing it to ourselves. So we needed the pause button. We need to hit our own pause button and check in and go, have I agreed to too many things? Am I trying to prove myself to other people? Because there's a part of me wanting their approval of me.
(10:39):
First person you need approval of is that person in the mirror where you look yourself in the eye and check in and say, do you prove of yourself? And if you can honestly say yes to that, good job. Good job. So we wanna also kill the squirrel effect. I say, so killing the squirrel effect is that, you know, I used to do this whenever I was cleaning my house. I'd, I'd pick up the laundry outta the closet, put it in the hamper then I would come into the main bedroom and go, oh, I can pick that up off the floor, or I can straighten up that pillow. And then I'm making my way to the laundry room. And as I'm going to the laundry room, I see a glass on the dresser, I'm gonna take that glass and put it in the kitchen and I go to the kitchen and then I go back to the laundry room and then something else gets my attention and oh my God, that needs to go in the living room.
(11:26):
Oh, I need to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom, come back. And so by the time I, I had a linear thought at the very beginning, hamper two laundry room, put the laundry in the washer, start the washer. I had six or seven points of contact that weren't even part of that plan. And so what I've learned is to stop that part of my mind that wants to go yes, and this yes and this yes and this, and just stack and stack and stack more onto that original goal. That original intent. Because then I get distracted. I forgot what I was doing, <laugh>. I've wasted more time. And the truth is, I feel inefficient inside of myself. So I simply get done what I say I'm gonna get done. And then I go back to wherever that was. If it had energy to go pick up that glass and put it in the dishwasher, cool, I'll go back and get that.
(12:12):
And that is its own segment. It's like, oh yeah, glass on dresser, go get glass, put it in the dishwasher, check mark. Done. And I didn't distract myself and oh my goodness, training myself to do this. Whenever I was saying I need to be focused, go point A, point B, done, point a, point B done. I would feel inside myself. But, but, but you could do this and you could do that and you can carry this and you can carry that and you can do this. And I'm like, stop One thing at a time. Get it done. Come back. The other thing that that did, I had no clue this was gonna be a bar pro byproduct, but it helped with my memory, with my memory. It's like, oh yeah, I remember there's a glass on the dresser. Oh yes, I remember there's socks down there on the floor.
(12:56):
And so the efficiency of completion helps with that work-life balance. It's the same way we do these patterns within work. Agreeing to work, agreeing to meetings, keeping time commitments on meetings. If a meeting scheduled for 15 minutes, it needs to be out in 14. If a meeting's scheduled for 30 minutes, it needs to be out in 29. So you need to be wrapping stuff up. The going overtime as we build, if we build that as a habit is a bad habit, we wanna stop that. 15 minute meetings, close it. 14, get out of there. Make it a goal to make it a 14 minute meeting. If it's a 30 minute meeting, make it a goal and a plan and action to make it a 29 minute meeting. I guarantee everybody in the meeting will absolutely love that. That is how things are going. And then we get more energy, right?
(13:45):
So killing the squirrel effect is asking ourselves, is what I'm about to do? Necessary? Now, that's what you want to add to the end of this sentence because oftentimes we'll check in with ourselves and go, is it necessary? Of course there's gonna be a part of our mind going, well, yes it is. Is it necessary? Now in this very moment, is this necessary? We have a, a term inside of project management called scope creep. You've probably heard about it in project management. We have the project laid out. We know exactly what the deliverables are, we know the measurements, we chunk it down to the work efforts, we understand the requirements and then we understand how to q a qc it before it gets delivered, right? So in scope creep, especially in a development environment, what we'll say, oh, I can add that into, it won't take too much time to just add that in.
(14:37):
Oh my goodness, if I ever heard that with from many of my programmers or developers it won't take too much time to just add that in. I'm like, that is an absolute no. That goes into phase two. That wasn't part of phase one. If we had an oversight where it was not part of the project and it was critical to the project success in that phase, then of course we're gonna bring it in if it's a nice to have or we could get it in also. No way, Jose not at all. Write it down on a future list and do not even touch it, right? In fact, I like literally asked my programmers to hold their hand and I'd pop 'em stop, stop scope creeping because that does not allow work-life balance. That's where we get overwhelmed. Other pieces get behind, even if it's not our intention or we believe it won't happen that way it does.
(15:26):
And so that's how you want to keep things focused. Is it necessary Now if it is not necessary now, and I've interrupted people in conversations where we're talking about one thing and they wanna bring on another topic and I go, hold on a second. Is that necessary now? Is that what we're talking about? Well, no. Then table that, that's gotta go to another meeting. Is it necessary? Now keep notes if you have a thought so you don't lose the thought. However, I'm not gonna go into the discussion right now. It's not part of what we're talking about. So scope creep, <laugh> is the enemy of results, definitely the enemy of a work-life balance. Another thing that we can do for our time management is to use the Pomodoro technique. I love the podo technique and if you don't yet know about it, you just simply look up Pomodoro technique.
(16:14):
It sounds the way it's spelled the same way it sounds. Pomodoro, p o m o d o r o. Now pomodoro's a tomato in French, that's the word. And it's that kitchen timer looks like a tomato. Those are the vintage ones that you can still buy. And the podo technique is you chunk things down to 20 minute increments and then whenever the pomodoro goes off, it's gonna have a little alarm. Then you check in with yourself complete as much as you were gonna complete. And either you put it away because that works done or you set another palmora of 20 minutes to continue on that one task only chunking things down to 20 minute increments. And it's an amazing observation and conscious measurement of time because sometimes we can sit in something and take so long to create the results that if we gave ourselves 20 minutes to create, to create the result, we get it done in 20 minutes.
(17:09):
If we give ourselves an hour to create the result, we take an hour. And that's another theme inside of project management for time management, is that work expands to fill time. So however much time you give something, your work will expand to fill that. So give yourself less time to create that result and watch what happens. You'll be able to create results and less time and get things off your plate. Now the other thing there is that we need to be willing to delegate to other people and teach them these techniques as well because sometimes we can have great time management skills and we can assume somebody else has it. We have not taught them them our techniques and strategies. And by all means, please do teach the people around you great strategies and techniques for time management so they can also be very conscious to the time.
(18:01):
And if we're aiming for a work-life balance and we're not incorporating time management skills, then we're gonna be always, you know, that, that that goal or that achievement is so far outside of our reach and we're gonna feel unfulfilled. So work-life balance comes here in the moment of time management. We also need to learn how to handle our distractions. And most distractions are based on our environment or the environment that we're choosing to be in. You have a choice. You do not need to be in those environments that are distracting. You get to choose where you wanna work, where you wanna create, where you want to have your results happen. I recently was in a situation where I was at the dining table creating some results. I was writing an email nurturing campaign for her product launch. And my beloved, it's a Sunday morning, you know, she's finding stuff on the web that's, you know, fun stuff for our new house.
(18:50):
And she's wanting to show me some faucets, which is part of her project that day is to find some bathroom faucets that we're gonna purchase. And I noticed after the third time that she showed me something, I'm like, I love you and I've gotta get to a different room. And so I picked up all my stuff. I said, I'll see you later, love you. And I went to our office and I shut the door and I finished, I hammered out all of those emails and it was great. Very creative and very precise. I needed to take charge of my environment. There was no part of me that can blame the other person for what they're inherently doing. I needed to kindly with grace, remove myself so that I could focus. And it's all on me. It's also all on you. If you're not focusing, if you're finding distractions, you're the one that is agreeing to those distractions and putting your time toward them and you can stop, right?
(19:39):
We can remove ourselves or remove the distraction. Now another point here for work-life balance is that success can create laziness. Follow me on this cuz it's an interesting perspective cuz we all wanna be successful. We want to reach to the success in our lives and the fulfillment that we desire. Yet when we reach it, and I've done this many times, I reach those levels of financial vitality. I reach those levels of, you know, there's no debt got the check marks on the house and the cars and stuff that are needed, don't need any more stuff. And whenever things are are achieved, there's a part of me that can definitely relax. And it's not like I don't want to relax, but, and there's a part of me that wants to be at the edge of becoming, there's a part of me that wants to be at the edge of a challenge.
(20:29):
The edge of the next, the edge of the more that I'm wanting to create and realize, achieve contribute, serve, right? So whenever I get to those places, I give myself a period of time to take in the win, to celebrate, to go, this is awesome. Either we're gonna go on a day vacation or a longer vacation. I'm gonna go to the spa that day. I'm simply gonna go to a nice walk at the park. I'm gonna, there's something to take in the achievement and go, yes, did it. Awesome, good job. And incorporate that growth. You know, how have I grown over this period of time achieving this result? What do I now know I'm gonna cultivate that and harvest it? It's going to be an awesome experience. And at the same time, I do not want to become lazy. I have not reached the end.
(21:16):
There is no end until the last breath. I'm always achieving. You are too. Always growing. So whenever I reach a financial vitality, whenever I get a big deal coming in, whenever, you know, there's, there's something of financial, you know, abundance that comes, i I relish in that. I go, that's nice, it's awesome. Celebrate high five. Wonderful, great. And then I move the money, move the money. So I can't see it in the regular bank statements or the bank management that I have within my KPIs for my firm or for our household. I move it to someplace that's not visible either an investment of an account I don't log into on a long, on a, on a regular basis. Move it to a bank account that I didn't even say. I'm gonna log in and create a user ID for an online check-in portal. I have to go to the bank to figure out which money is in there, right?
(22:05):
Put debit card in. It tells you your balance. So I just make sure that those things are outta sight outta mind and I bring things back to the, I'm focusing on creating. I'm focusing on serving. I'm focusing on contributing. This is where the movement happens. Not in the place where I feel like I've already reached the end result. So for a work-life balance that may sound like it gets counterintuitive. Like wait a second, I'm going for a balance, I'm going for an ease, I'm going for a peace. And then you're saying that's laziness. No, I'm saying get this celebration in there, bring it together. Love it. You are achieving yes and honor that part of you that wants to go for more yet have balance around it. You know, not burning the candle at both ends. Not, you know, what do they say burning the midnight oil?
(22:51):
You know, I go to sleep around 10 o'clock in the evening my house stays clean. Those things are are done. The the businesses are running themselves beautifully. And if, if work feels like it's arduous and too much, when you check in with ourselves and say, is it necessary now what am I doing? What systems do I have? Have I automated things? Do I have the right people on board? If I'm doing too much as an owner or a CEO or an operator, then that means that I haven't grown my business the way that it's needing to be grown. I, I need to bring the right people in cuz I'm not the be all end all. I'm not the best mind, the smartest person in my company ever. So there's parts where we get humble and we say that this is what I also need to do because success can definitely create laziness and the very stress that we're saying we want, want to have a balance from, right?
(23:47):
So we also don't want to go for perfectionism because perfect is an illusion. There's no such thing we're gonna change our mind tomorrow on what that perfect thing is anyway. So go for done. Done is better than perfect and done is a check mark. It's, it's useful, it's functional, it's a done you delegate, you, you cap capture that in, you know, writing it down, knowing how you did things in a process, procedure, SOPs. And then you move on to the next thing. Another thing that can absolutely open your eyes to how you're utilizing time, and this was a big aha moment for me many years ago, is to create a grid. And I'm gonna see if we can attach the grid that I used to this podcast as a show note. And so you track your time, you track what you're doing, when you started it, when you stopped it, what you're doing, when you started it, when you stopped it, that's it.
(24:41):
And so if you go to the bathroom, so going to the bathroom, you know, 9 0 2, finished at 9 0 3, finished at 9 0 4, right? Drinking a glass of water started at 10 0 1, finished at 10 0 2. So track everything you're tracking. Every little thing that you do in a day and it's gonna take you anywhere from a sheet to two sheets cuz there's a lot of activities that happen in our day. And then go see where things took more time than you thought they did or would. And where you're repeating things that weren't efficient that you could delegate or that you're doing other people's work that really isn't yours. Or you said you'd do this tomorrow or next week and you're doing it today. So whenever you track your time, it's very telling and then you can renegotiate with yourself. Understand your patterns until you track it. It's all you know out there for just your thoughts to take over.
(25:40):
And your lower mind usually wants to be right. So your not really in your own truth. And it's the same that I've realized with people that say, no, I drink plenty of water in a day. You drink plenty of water, really? Have you tracked it? If you track your water, you're either gonna be, yes, I'm drinking plenty water because I'm tracking it and it's precise or it's just again, the thought that you are. So tracking your time, getting very efficient with that. So hope today's time together and our talk has been useful for you in creating work-life balance, boundaries, communications, giving up rushing, knowing that being late has so much cost to it. Stop agreeing to too many things. Learn how to negotiate your time and your efforts and your work. No cramming too many things in. We're gonna kill the squirrel effect because we're gonna ask ourselves, is this necessary?
(26:30):
Now you're gonna look up the Pomodoro technique to see if that will work for you. You're gonna stop having work fill the time. You're gonna get very precise with your time and love the time you have. You're going to create a distraction free environment and put yourself in it <laugh>. And you're gonna realize that sometimes we need to look at all of our grace and good and create that challenge for ourselves because success can create laziness. We need to have an edge of more that we're going for. We're no longer going for perfect. Done is better than that. And we're gonna track our time and tell the truth so that we can be honoring of the time we do have here. Thank you so much for listening to the Let Your Life Podcast. Share this with people that you love. I'm Tina Marie St.Cyr. Until next time, have a great and beautiful day. Ciao.
(27:17):
That was so energizing. I have takeaways that will help my life and I'm sure you do too. To get show notes, bonuses, gifts for you from our guests and more, head over to Light Your Life podcast.com and be sure to bookmark this podcast is one of your favorites. I'm Tina Marie St.Cyr, Founder of Bonfire Coaching and creator of the Bonfire Method. Thank you so much for being connected. Now my homework for you summon the courage to light your life a little more and go make progress on your dreams
(27:53):
Today.
(28:03):
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