#8: How to Be a True Leader Who Makes a Difference With Temple Hayes
Description:
We want our leadership to illicit true changes in our world, what do we focus on, what do we ask ourselves to find clarity in direction?
Join Tina Marie and Temple on a wonderful journey of your leader's soul.
Biography:
Temple Hayes is an electrifying magnet who lifts, magnifies and resurrects her audiences with a profound way of living and working with natural laws. From keynotes to Carnegie Hall to a film seeking people to see the seriousness of suicide with Deepak Chopra to key narrative of Yogananda by Michel Pascal, Temple Hayes is a force.
Links:
Website: https://templehayes.com/
Company Website: https://globalpeaceworkers.org/
All socials: @templehayes
For all podcast inquiries, contact hello@bonfirecoaching.com
Transcription:
(00:02):
Hello and welcome to Ignite Your Leadership. I'm your host, Tina Marie Saints here. And as always, thank you for lending your time, attention, and your curiosity into this podcast episode. 'cause I know you come here to improve yourself to grow. And that's what we do together today, is going to be an unpackable, you know, full of wisdom episode. I know. 'cause I'm sitting with my dear friend, temple Hayes, and we're gonna be talking about how to be a true leader who makes a difference. And so we're also gonna show that side of ourselves that go, am I really making a difference, <laugh>? So we're gonna dive into all parts of you. So thank you for, for being here and for listening and for sharing this with other leaders in your life as well, temple. So, I, I love being with you. I do wanna let people know a little bit about you because you know, we have familiarity in, in history here, but the people listening may not know what our warehouse you are.
(00:58):
So, temple Hayes her name is spelled exactly like you'd love to say. I think I can spell this Temple Hayes, what a name, right? <Laugh> is an electrifying magnet. Now, literally, I know this and you're gonna fall in love with her just like I have. She works with the natural laws to help you understand what is working behind the scenes in unconscious ways that we can bring into consciousness to help us become better people. And she's sat with people now, now, listen to this. She's done keynotes from Carnegie Hall to film. You know, she's been in all of these different avenues and, and arenas. She's had talks with Deepak Chopra about suicides and Michael Pascal, and you're just a force. I mean, everybody knows Temple Hayes, which I love. And so it, it's just like, I'm, I just can't wait.
(01:47):
Let's just get to it. Let's just get to everything that we know that we, we love and helping people become the difference maker that is in their soul. You know we don't come onto this planet thinking, you know what? I'm just gonna be a mundane, I'm gonna take up space <laugh>, I'm gonna, you know, like, I'm just gonna be a taker and then I'm gonna die. And yeah, I did it. No, we, there's, there's something inside of us that go, I, I, I'm here for more. I wanna make a difference. I wanna impact people's lives. Is that true?
(02:16):
You know, one of the things I feel is it's, that's where some of the human pain comes in, is the inability or the denial of what is being called forth within us. And I, I couldn't agree with you more. I, I feel like we were all sent, or we all made some kind of conscious or unconscious agreement to be here during one of the most exciting times on the planet. Talk about the opportunity that we have now to lead people to not be part of the divide. I mean, it's real interesting because we, we'll often look at a, a problem that needs the answer because there's always an answer. That's what you teach all the time. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, there's always a paradigm to look at. There's an opportunity calling forward. But what we tend to do often is join the wrong group towards what we're against. We become part of that instead of leading people out of that. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So, in other words, if I go, well, one of the issues now is that we hear all the time in media and with people in positionality Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> this division language. Well, that's the last thing is a leader I need to be doing <laugh> right.
(03:38):
Is dividing, you know,
(03:39):
My my saying is, if the world is round, why take sides? Or I would say another one of my quotes is, United, we stand divided, we're merely a distraction. Mm. So when I'm looking at the outer world going, wow, what a mess. I'm looking at what part within me as a leader Mm-Hmm. Is contributing to the mess or, or the, the vision. And yes. I, I feel that to me, the joy of life is not the absence of grief and sadness and things. It's when I can include that. It's all part of the great connection.
(04:22):
That's beautiful. It's part of our stew, so to speak. Right? Mm-Hmm, <affirmative>. So I have a question. You sparked a question. I had somebody two days ago say, I don't wanna be a mismatch her anymore. And I'm like, what do you mean by a mismatch her? And she said, there's some mechanism happening in me, and I'm noticing it more readily where I see the wrong in things and I see how things don't match, and they stand out, but in a painful way. And there, and all I hear inside my mind is that it shouldn't be that way. And why is it that way? And somebody needs to fix it. And so I said, wow, it's interesting for you to notice that. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. So I asked her what mechanism she thought was operating that, and when did it start happening. And whenever she said this one thing she said, I think it's when the world did not become it, it became scary and not safe. And so I think it's like, it's probably a defensive mechanism and I wanna stop it. So I was wondering if you could speak to that, because what you just mentioned about, you know, people seeing that there's a divide. If we even ask ourselves, what's wrong here? Are we contributing to the divide by just judging first
(05:30):
Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>? Well, I, I just said something about this, the on YouTube last week is I saw a meme on Facebook Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And it said, it's more than if I see the glass half full or half empty. I need to remember that I'm the one pouring the water <laugh>. Ooh,
(05:52):
I'll, I'll say that again for <inaudible>. That, you know, it's more than, it's a glass is half full or half empty. It's that I remember I'm the one pouring the water. I, I feel that when we talk about a divide Tina, I mean, you and I go back like, what, 20 years now? Yeah. A long time. And I, I just applaud your work and what you're doing. You know, you're really, you're holding people in. You're, you're, you're creating a template of, and to me, that's what we do as leaders, is we hold a template for ourselves and others that we're continuing to grow into. Right. Continuing to grow into life. And we,
(06:38):
We use it too. It's, it's not like we arrive anywhere. We we're
(06:42):
All, oh, I, I would, if we think we have, we need to stop talking out loud <laugh>, you know, and leading, I always say, you know, the most important thing to me is that I remain a student that I'm learning. 'cause When I get condescending or into my ego, like, oh, look at me on the platform. Mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. I've told too many people in my life, that's when you can tell me to go sit down <laugh>. Right. Because we're, we're all in this together. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you know, I mean, that's the whole thing. We've long self, we've left the me and we need to be, and the we because it doesn't matter if you're the most important person in the country. If you don't have a country, what good is it? Right. So we're, we're in this, you know, on this journey together.
(07:30):
But back to what you were saying, I I think that for me, there, what I needed to learn, because, you know, I got into the comfort of metaphysical communities, and it's like I lived in a gloss bubble. You know, God's good all the time, and everything is happening to me for a reason and season and is in divine order. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And the larger aspect of me is, I actually believe what I just said. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. On the other hand, the way we establish relativity to our humanity is that we learn that it is okay to discern something. And for me, there's a big difference between discernment of, I can't believe somebody would shoot somebody in a driveway because they went to the wrong driveway to deliver a pizza. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I can't believe that used to, if there was a shooting, it would be on the news for a week.
(08:30):
Now it's five times a day, a different shooting. And now what? That's discernment for me, I don't, I don't think of that as, as judging. I think judgment is more of trying to figure out why a shooter would do something or why someone would hurt their child, or I'm into a level that I don't know enough about. Right. But discernment is, and I think that's why you and I are more passionate than we've ever been. And our voice needs to get louder than it ever has. And by that, I'm not talking decibels, <laugh>, I'm talking about bravery and courage and speaking out and saying, let's get real here. People Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, you know, and so I applaud the person that sees things being mismatched. I applaud the person that sees things that the dots don't connect. And what I would say to that person with a level of empowerment and, and compassion, is it's your job now to tie those ends together.
(09:39):
Exactly.
(09:40):
Now that you've seen it, and now that you know it, there's a responsibility that comes with it as how you respond to it. And, you know, you and I have laughed before you were on my show and Yeah. You know, we would talk about how, I mean, I, when I talk about leadership, I think about that I am a leader at the grocery store. When the mailman delivers something to the door, when I'm in front of an audience, when I'm keynoting, when I'm at a book signing, it's all the same. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And, and I have known leaders in discernment. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, they'll write the book about how to help homeless and then pass the three people on the street. Right. So it's that what we are is who we be. And, and so how do we tie all of that together is, is so important, you know, whether it's
(10:40):
Absolutely
(10:41):
Right. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> that we are responding. It's not just something I do for a living is not something that I do because of a book. It's something I do because there is this fire inside of me. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> that is calling forth at any given moment. And the question is, and that's what you said initially, is what are we giving fire to? Right. What we don't want, because that grows
(11:08):
Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>
(11:10):
Or, or what we do want.
(11:11):
Right. And so it sparks a, a question or a point of view where, you know, each of us have an amount of energy in our lives. We have responsibilities, we have time. And even though things can touch our soul, and we could say, I want to make a change there, I can see the either injustice or places where change needs to happen as being called forth, because it's in our purview. It's in our perspective, it's, it's, it's touching our emotional home. Right. and then there's this, this other part of ourselves that I don't, I don't have the time, I don't have the resource, I don't have the energy. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And so, you know, sometimes life gets louder in those areas to say, Hey, you are meant to pay attention to this, and you are meant to make a difference there. And then there's other times where we, we can support those that are making a difference. So what would you share with those people that say, I, I get it. That certain things don't sit well with me. And then I also have this belief of limited time, resources, attention to make the difference that maybe I, I, I believe I'm supposed to make.
(12:23):
Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Well, one of the answers that come without any editing is I would say that we have created quite a few glorified excuses for ourselves. <Laugh>
(12:34):
Do tell.
(12:35):
I mean, I mean, it, it is just a glorified excuse. You know, like the people that that I encounter offer often that wanna say how busy they are. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I, I remember years ago when I was managing a, a sizable spiritual community, and other leaders from across the country would call me and ask me, well, how did you do that? Or How did you do that? And I said, well, see, that's the issue. When you think it's I Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I, yes, I'm the visionary. Mm-Hmm. But I, I have a whole team of people and people. It's not just all up to me. And then I would make a suggestion, oh, I don't have time to do that. Oh, I don't have time. And I'm thinking you have 20 people in your community and you don't have time. Okay? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, let's just have a nice day. You know, kind of thing. But this thing of I'm busy. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> is a new Americanized way of being a victim. It's just another way of saying, I'm a victim. I don't have control over my life and my time and my calendar. Hooty, hooty hoo <laugh>. It's a glorified excuse. There's another aspect of people that will say, there's so much wrong. I don't know where to start. Right. So what they do is they don't <laugh>
(13:56):
Do nothing.
(13:58):
Start, and they don't do anything. So I like your way of looking at it. And that would be my way of looking at it too, is don't look at starting with the big do one thing. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you know, like, I belong to Nextdoor Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And me too. Wherever I live, I, I belong to Nextdoor. And so I saw, does someone know anyone that would be willing to help? This man is going through a hard time that has a blind dog. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I write, well, I have a nonprofit. What do you have in mind? Oh, well, just a couple of nights at the hotel. Wonderful. You know, wonderful. Mm-Hmm. Oh, I can do that. Which hotel? Sure. Oh yeah. I can go by there. No problem. Two nights in a hotel. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> a 15 minute conversation with this man of reminding him that a new dawn is coming.
(14:51):
Yes.
(14:52):
Great. A new day and a new dawn is coming. Just a moment. This was a half hour in my whole life of one person. I got a message two days ago that said, David now has a full-time job. Annie has a place to live. Thank you for being one of the people. One just on me. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> one of the people that because of our actions, he's in a different place now, what if everybody would spend a half hour on one thing? Where would we be? You know, where would we, would we be? I had I used to live right across the street from the beach in Florida. And, and so some friends were visiting me from North Carolina, and they've known me for a long time. They know temple's gonna save the bug and the spider <laugh>. I'm dad. Because here's the thing, and this goes back to what you're saying, if it happens in front of you Mm-Hmm.
(15:52):
<Affirmative>, there's something for you to do. Exactly. It may not be doing, it may not be starting a, a whole company about it, but it might be a moment. It's in front of you. Yeah. And so I'm not real big on the Bible, you know, because a lot of it is just way over my, my, my span, my headspace. But I do believe to him that much is given much, is held accountable. And I believe that. And so when I, I'm given an opportunity, there's an accountability with me to either decide to walk away, which probably wouldn't be me, but <crosstalk>. And
(16:37):
It's painful. It's painful when we decide to walk away,
(16:40):
You're left undone. You're left undone. That's so, my, my couple friend and I were walking the beach and I noticed that all these con fritters had been washed up on the shore. Oh. They had been washed up too far. The hot, the tide was too high. Pushed them all the way up, and they couldn't get back to the sea. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And they were creating quicksand out of desperation to get out, and they were gonna literally smother themselves. Yeah. So I said to Amy and Mike, I said we're gonna have to pick up on our conversation because I got, I have work to do now. Yes.
(17:20):
So I had, I have my baseball cap and I'm putting them in, I'm taking them over to the ocean, I'm taking them to the water. And they, they start doing it too. I didn't have to say, aren't you gonna do something? I don't need a club. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. But they just organically started doing it. And a man comes up to me and he goes what are you doing? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I mean, yes. Really like that. What are you doing? And I said I'm a resident here, and these are con friers. There was a high tide. And if they don't get back, there were hundreds of them. If they don't get bad they'll die. Some of them are smothering now, so I'm getting them back to the water and I'm not gonna make it easy on the birds today.
(18:07):
<Laugh>. Right. Laughed. That's
(18:11):
Awesome. And he'd walked and, and he kind of walked the beach and he kind of looked and he came back to me and he said, I just wanna tell you you're a good person.
(18:21):
Oh.
(18:22):
And I said, you know what? I appreciate that. I don't think of it like that. I think it's my responsibility. I coexist with this earth. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And I think Mother Nature requires all of us to do our part. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And in about 10 minutes, I look down the beach and there he was doing it.
(18:42):
<Laugh> doing the same thing. Well, this awareness, this, you know, we become models, but it's awareness, taking action through a human and being that model for another person. Right. Yeah. If anybody takes walks with me early in the morning, especially whenever the sprinklers have been going here in Houston, which is very commonly hot during the summer, they'll see me giving earthworms a very unique experience because I'll pick them up because they'll dry out on the sidewalk. If if Yes. You said Absolutely. Giving birds an an easy <laugh> meal. Right. But I'll take the earthworm and I'll go flu free <laugh>. So I, I toss them into the back of the grass and I visualize these earthworms going like, 'cause they get to, they get to finally fly. 'cause What earthworms ever get the chance to fly. And so I just, you know, I teach earthworms, flight <laugh>, but I save them.
(19:40):
Oh, that's great. That's beautiful. But when you say, well, I, you know, I'm a person and I'm a mom, and I got this, I got that. It's like, you know, I saw next door a woman's cat had gotten out. She was terrified. And so my little goddaughter says, mama temple, what do you wanna do on Mother's Day? I said, I wanna go find that cat. Yeah.
(20:00):
But
(20:00):
That woman, so we can, we can bring it all together in the same thing. If our values are aligned with being a difference maker, being a difference maker isn't when I have a microphone. I mean Right. Maybe something I could say. But you know, like, people will call me and say, why is it I can't get young people to come to my community? It's like, because you talk about doing something, but you don't show them that you're doing anything. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And the generations now they need to see what are you doing? Are you just sitting around chatting and, and impressing yourself. But the other aspect that you were talking about, you see, like when I left that day of the ER experience, I had so much energy. Yeah. And so I think that when you talk about judgment, we have a judgment about ourselves, which limits us immensely. Like we have really been duped about a belief system about energy. Do we need to take care of our bodies? Yes. Does what we eat have a lot to do with it? Yes. but we have the immensity of infinite energy that's available to us, but we get into these patterns. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> based upon. Well, you know, I mean, I've heard people on Monday talk about how tired they're gonna be on Friday.
(21:42):
Right. They program themselves <laugh>.
(21:44):
Right, right. I've had someone call me and say, I don't think I can be on your show next Wednesday. And it's Thursday of the following week. Mm-Hmm. Of the previous prior week. I don't, I Right. The word prior. Thank you. Mm-Hmm. I, I don't think I'm gonna be able to be on your show. Oh. What's going on? Or they'll call my producer, I have a cold. I'm like, they know they're gonna still have a cold a week from now. You know, I mean, like, are you kidding me? Yeah. So it's like, or I'm gonna have the grandkids, so, you know, Monday I'm gonna be worn out. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
(22:19):
Yeah.
(22:21):
Because when we are immersed in what we love, the idea is we would get more energy, not less Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And we, we don't, you know, get depleted because of the choices we make about energy. However, if we're doing things we don't wanna do, and our energy lacks us a telltale sign, definitely. But when we do an act of giving an act of love, an act of difference making, we thrive. Yeah.
(22:48):
We're on, we're
(22:49):
On. We're on, we're on. And I, I heard a speaker say one time that yesterday ended last night, <laugh>, so many a times in my life, something's happened. Someone's died. I'm grieving. Or I have a new vision and I'm all excited. And I don't get the best night's sleep. I don't feed that. I go, it ended last night. Today. I mean, if you watch nature and, and when you introduce me, that's what I'm talking about with natural laws. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> look at nature. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. You don't see worn out birds. You don't see birds just laying on their side going last night was rough. It's because they know they're drawing from something greater than themselves. And they are the ones pouring the water. If you'll
(23:40):
Yeah. I love that vision. I love that. Thank you so much. And there's another thing I tell people that 'cause a lot of our energy drain can be simply our inner judgments, critical thinking like criticisms and comparison. And I'll say a flower doesn't compare itself to the other flower. You know?
(23:58):
That's so good. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> so good. Yeah.
(24:01):
So one of the exercises I give my clients is because this is, this is, I think a, a a very common, you know, ill effect of human thinking is that, that we have this, I don't have energy, you know, I'm wore out. And, and, and, you know, people just tell their drama stories about being overwhelmed. And so I'll hear this and I'll say, okay, do me a favor. Is there somebody in in the world that you respect, like someone like a celebrity or a philosopher or a teacher or somebody that you really adore and respect? Like, they're just like the cat's meow. And they'll think of the person. Right. And, you know, and if it's a single woman, I'll say, you know, like, whatever, just, you know, makes you hot. Right. So whatever it is, you know, and then they'll think of that person and they'll go, well, who is it?
(24:49):
And they'll say who it is. And I'll go, wow, that's interesting because I actually know that person. And, and they're, they're next in line. They're waiting for me. You know, like, this goes so strange that that person, I mean, think they're, they're right here, and you'll just see them shift in a second. You've gotta be kidding me. Really? Oh my God. Oh my. Are you serious? And their energy becomes passionate and exuberant. And I said, and I'm like, okay, all you did was change your thought stream there, and look at your energy. Your energy is on all of a sudden. Yeah. But it's because they have this illusion or this belief that they're gonna meet that person that is of influencer or, you know just passion for them. But we could do that anywhere in our life. You, you Mm-Hmm. You have absolute command of shifting your energy in an instant when you choose.
(25:42):
Yeah. And the other aspect of it is people have been so programmed that they cannot do it by themselves. Because if you, if your loudest voice tells you that you can't do it by yourself, you don't have the energy, then you're gonna go buy the energetic drink. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you're gonna take the energetic pills, you're gonna do all these other things. So part of it is, we hear this all the time. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, it's in front of us. You know, I don't know how many people have asked me, you know, do you get your energy naturally? And I go, I don't so much take an aspirin. So yes, <laugh>. And I know that we can create and allow it to be. So, yes. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And there's things we can do, tools, things we can do to increase our energy if we're very interested in doing it.
(26:33):
But, you know, we, we live in a society where you get paid to be sick. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, you get a paid sick day. Yeah. We live in a society that we don't have a reward based insurance system in America. The people that aren't healthy see the benefits, the people that are do not true for simple things like B12 shots. I mean, I would have to pay off the chart. I get so upset by that. Like, Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, that's the only thing I've done in 15 years, and you don't wanna give me a discount, but you'd rather it be that you do something with the hospital. It's a really interesting thing. And those are just discernments.
(27:17):
Right.
(27:18):
And ways that some of us are, you know, urging and longing for change. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, you know, I would like to see a reward-based insurance policy.
(27:30):
Right. The healthier you are, the healthier you,
(27:34):
The healthier you are,
(27:34):
The less you pay,
(27:36):
The less you pay <laugh>, that would be beautiful. You know? I mean, there are, we have a dream <laugh>
(27:44):
<Laugh>. Yes. We have a dream.
(27:45):
We have a dream of, you know, something being different, but so that, you know, people don't poo poo us with, you know, our own level of intelligence and go, you know, easy for you to say, you know, my my son died last year. Well, first of all, I'm, I don't have the words to say to you about that, nor do I have the experience. And even if I'd have had the same identical one, I wouldn't say to you, I know how you feel. You never know how a person feels. But that being said, you're exactly right. When we're going, when we're doing shadow work, yes. Our energy is less. And my mother died last year. Oh yeah. My energy was less. I felt like she was leaving me. I felt like I, somebody had poked a hole in my balloon. No doubt about it. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But I'm aware of it. Right. And I'm also aware that when I'm on the other side of a tragedy or trauma, I'm gonna have more energy than I had when I started. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And that's, that's the mismatch, right. And societal belief is society teaches us, the more you go through, the less you are
(29:01):
In shaman work and in the work you're doing, the more you walk through things, the more of you that's on the other side.
(29:10):
Yeah. The greater you become.
(29:12):
You have more energy, you have more life, and thing happens. You have more depth. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. So you're not just going around saying, I'm spiritual. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I'm a spiritual coach. But there's depths because you've proven what the spirit around you and in you is capable of being through you. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And that's a real distinction that a lot of people aren't taught.
(29:38):
That's true.
(29:39):
Like, you know, you go through so much that oh, by the time it comes time for you to die, you're just happy about it, <laugh> No, no, no, no, no. Because in my work, what I will tell you is you take you to the next place you're going. That's one. Number two, it takes energy to die. Mm-Hmm.
(29:57):
<Affirmative>,
(29:59):
You know, it takes life to die. So, anyway.
(30:01):
That's awesome.
(30:03):
There's a, it doesn't take much to get me going. <Laugh>. <laugh>.
(30:06):
There's a perspective there that I wanted to draw for our leaders here, which is interesting because I do hear leaders being dismayed or much like you were saying, I, I go through so much and they feel depleted on the other side. And so what if we turn that on its head and say the experiences that we're having leading our teams, leading our individual contributors having projects either make it or not make it. That all this experience isn't taking away from us. It's adding to us, it's adding to our experience and, and our belief of ourselves and our purview of other people rising to the challenge and, and, you know, acting as a team and going through it together. And so these challenges, if we instead look at things as I'm growing through absolutely everything here, that's a totally different energy exchange than it's depleting me. I have to do this. I can't believe this is happening to me. These people are a, a, a, a burden. Right. And it's definitely, it's still, it's a thought stream and it's a choice on which way we're going to perceive things.
(31:15):
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, and the word breakthrough is a an ache and a no <laugh>
(31:22):
True.
(31:23):
And, and to me, I, I don't know about you, but if I'm going to a Chinese acupuncturist, I'm more interested in, I'm interested in the skills. I'm, I wanna make sure they don't wanna, they don't, they're not gonna hurt me with that little pricky the needle. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Right. But more than anything I'm looking for, what kind of energy do they have? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, what is their attitude? What is the space? How does the energy of the office feel? I'm more interested in that. We have people that go to people for relationship counseling, and the person that's cancel counseling them is charging them immense amount of money, and they're not in a relationship. Right. Interest. See, that would be me. I, I would interview the person. If I'm going to give a level of my own empowerment away to somebody else, I need to know they are being and doing what I'm seeking. 'cause Otherwise, how can they help me? Right. They may can give me book knowledge, but they're not giving me life knowledge.
(32:30):
Life knowledge. And
(32:31):
When the leaders that you described while ago, it's hard for the people to, to listen to you. Well, is it something about your voice? Is it your tonality? Is it your physiological self? I mean, what is it that they're showing you about you that you need to grow above and out of in order to claim that? Right. Because people want leaders who talk about the stories from tragedy to triumph, or whether they talk about it or not, you can feel it. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And, and I, to me, that's what makes an enlightened leader. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> is a leader that has gone through a lot and yet still allows himself, herself to be upfront teaching, talking, still putting yourself out there. And listen, if you're a public person, people are gonna talk about you. Oh, yeah. I have people make up so much stuff about me. It's just, it's fascinating. And I, I, I've said, God, half of it was true. Wow. What would I be doing right now? But they do. I mean, that's what we have in our, where we are, where we live. You know, if you take a stand about something, yeah. People are gonna talk about you. But if they're not talking about you, it means that you're just status quo. And exactly how boring is that?
(33:58):
I know one, a dear friend of both of ours, Howard Caesar he was my mentor for a long time. He, he told me, 'cause I was on radio and TV and like yourself, the public speaker, all this, you know, we, we've lived very common lives and, or similar lives. And, and and I was it's back in I was like 32, and I had someone stalk me and you know, threaten me physically. It was very awkward. And so I was talking to Howard about this, and he said, okay. He said, you're putting yourself in, in these, these arenas because you do wanna be a difference maker. You are following the path that, you know, you're following your spirit. And what it's saying, just know that you will be attracting an element of that. Because he said people are attracted to the light, but they may not know how to be in it.
(34:50):
And so you may see the dark parts of them from time to time. And so he said, it's, it's part of that experience. And so I, I committed to him, then I'll be courageous, I'll be smart. Yet as a leader, we do have these, these, you know, parts of humanity aren't at the same frequency, and we can still bless them. So that's one thing I also wanna say earlier, is that even when I'm not participating in the thing, if I see on the news something, you know, we've got the Israel and, you know, the, the Palestinian thing going on right now. And I'll do my part where I am here on this part of the earth, but I'm not there. Right. Right. What I do every day is I send blessings. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, I send immense blessings in light. And do I, do I believe that that is a good source of healing? Yes. That's why I do it. I believe each one of us has a, an energy source of, of good intent. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> as, as opposed to ill intent. That is a, is a beautiful thing in the human, you know, consciousness that we can all contribute is either we're blessing or not blessing in that moment. So which one do we wanna be?
(36:05):
Absolutely. there's tremendous impact by what you just said. And imagine a million people doing it.
(36:13):
I'd love that. I'd love that.
(36:15):
Instead of talking about, ain't it awful, which hello killing people is Yes. You know, it's like people say to me, oh, I, you know, I need to work with my anger. I go, I hope not. <Laugh>. You know, it means you're not alive. I if you're not angry about certain things that are going on, like what the heck is wrong with you? However, to approach it in an angry manner that doesn't accomplish anything. It's like a mother's race has said, I won't be against something, but I'll be for something. And so I use that in my work and in my book, being a difference maker, you know, a guide that out to live out loud. I use the example of an enlightened rebel Mm-Hmm. You know, you are as a human being when you see people being slaughtered for because of false power and babies.
(37:06):
And come on. I mean, I, I don't even wanna bring all that. You see all that I Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> you must get angry or you don't have a pulse. Right. However, if you do something about it in an enlightened way of, of sternness and energy and being a spokesperson for some ideas that we have, then, then we're, you know, we're onto to something. I mean, I interviewed Arun Gandhi, he died last year. He was Mahatma Gandhi's fifth grandson. And it's amazing that when I interviewed him, it was the day after the mass shooting in Las Vegas. Remember that at Mon?
(37:52):
I do. Yeah. It mm-Hmm.
(37:53):
<Affirmative>. And we already had planned to meet in Orlando and to do this interview. And even more odd and a blessing was, it was Mahatma Gandhi's birthday Oh. On that Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And that interview, if anyone's interested, is on my YouTube channel under yeah. Under the Intentional Spirit interviews. And so it was so interesting being with him because of watching, you know, the expressions on his face. Mm-Hmm. But he had a, he has a book called The Gift of Anger.
(38:34):
Ah, I love it.
(38:35):
And he, he talks about the value of using it for change. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> of using it for being a difference maker. And I'm with you. See, I don't feel like you can shortcut that phase because it's gonna come back on you later. So not happy about this. This is not okay. Oh. But, you know, I'm spiritual and, you know, and everybody's counting on me to be joyful and happy and, you know, whatever. It's like, do the work. Yeah. You know, it's important to do the work. You may not do it out loud in front of everybody, but take a couple of days off and work with that element and see your anger and ask it, what is it telling you? And will it give you an answer, you know, that you can use? Because that's where good stuff comes, I believe. And that's,
(39:31):
I love that,
(39:32):
You know, and I'm so glad that somebody got tired of lighting a candle and invented the light bulb <laugh>. I mean, come on. You know, it, there, it leads us to some really good stuff sometimes. Mm-Hmm.
(39:45):
<Affirmative> and the intelligence that we all have capacity for. So I love the books that you've written. Are, you know, I don't know if you title them, do you title your own books? 'cause They are awesome. <Laugh>.
(39:56):
Well, thank you. Well, thank you so much. Well, the first book I was asked by a publisher to write it, and that was How to Speak Unity. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And that's language people use in pos radical positive settings, you know, like Divine order or blessing, whatever, you know, whatever. Yeah. That was decided for me. But the book, when Did You Die?
(40:19):
When Did You Die? <Laugh>?
(40:20):
That's such a great question, because when did you die? Eight Steps to Stop Dying Every Day and start Waking Up? That was gifted to me in a vision that, that was to be the title of the book and to show you that a publishing house in San Francisco wanted to publish the book. But they said, but you can't have that title. The title of the book is gonna kill the book. People don't wanna talk about dying. And I went, well, this isn't about a physical death. Right. It's about your energy dying. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I have to have that as the title 'cause I got that in my vision. And so that's, that came about. But I insisted to have a photo of me on it, not because of the way I look or don't look, but to show I wasn't dead <laugh>. Right.
(41:11):
<Laugh>. And you're very vibrant on the cover of that book. I Wish It
(41:16):
Show. Right. And so A difference Maker is something that it's, it's an old term but it's an old term that never loses its meaning. Mm-Hmm. And I just really believe in that living out loud. And I think even, you know, coming into 50, when I publicly went on Lifetime television, and because they asked me to talk about my sexuality, I thought, okay, now I can teach living out loud. Right. Because I'm living out loud, you know? Mm-Hmm. And so anyway, thank you. But they're more organic, you know, and just my own life journey of of how things are unfolding.
(42:03):
And so you're listening to your soul and you know, as you know, we're self leaders first Mm-Hmm. And then we can have the grace of leading others. I was in Central Park two weeks ago.
(42:21):
Mm.
(42:21):
And they were doing construction on a sidewalk. And the able-bodied people, you know, myself and my, my beautiful wife Jackie, were were going into the grass and walking around this constructed area for this, you know, smaller portion of the sidewalk. Something grabbed my attention and I looked to my left almost behind me. And there was a man who was also, you know, gonna go up this little rise and, and over this area, but I saw him unsteady and he was struggling. Mm-Hmm. And he looked like an able-bodied person, but something wasn't adding up for him. And I quickly, you know, went over and helped him and put my hand on his shoulder and my other hand around his waist and, and grabbed it, you know, just guided him and guided him to, you know, flat ground. And it was funny, he said, he said, I, I think I chose the wrong way to go there, <laugh>.
(43:20):
And I said, well, you're good now. And so I share that because it takes awareness in this life. And I think with all the distractions and all the excuses that we've spoken about, the mind can easily go to excuses. We can go to a low energy level of our experience in life. I think every single one of us, you know, myself, yourself, we're all being asked to wake up more. And we're all being asked to, to still ourselves, and come into this partnership with the divine whatever we wanna name it there. There's a, there's a huge unconsciousness that I truly know that we're part of. And it is us, and it is of us that wants us to, to, to be happy and joyful, but it's gonna take connecting with one another. Mm-Hmm. And it's connecting at a level that we have to feel vulnerable.
(44:15):
We have to feel connected. I mean, this man was a stranger. I never, I didn't get his name. I didn't need to, the, the moment that we were connected in that moment was a, I truly believe spirit and sacredness guided us to have that because Jackie and I were lost. We were lost in Central Park. And we, we, we came to this space, and even Jackie later said, I think we were supposed to be right there at that one intersection at that moment to meet that soul and to have that connectivity and to help him. And so absolutely as leaders, you know, if we could, you know, my invitation, my want is that we remove ourselves from any titles, any, any belief that we've reached anything and we're owed anything. And that, you know, we get to a place where we're humble and every single waking second that we can be and avail ourselves to the grandeur and the beauty and the, the intelligence that is of us and with us. And I think that's what your books are all about. That. And I love that because you're, you're such a, a beautiful light in our world, and I'm, I'm grateful that our paths cross and that I'm at the same intersection of, you know, us living together in this space and time. And, and your wi your wisdom's profound.
(45:33):
I deeply hear you. And I, I, I, I feel that, I feel that in my heart. But, and you know, you used a, you used a, a strong word a powerful word called aware. And there's a younging statement that says, first you must realize that you are asleep. Mm-Hmm.
(45:55):
<Affirmative>.
(45:56):
And then you die. So you can be born. You cannot be born until you die. And you cannot die until you wait. And so it's, it's about, you know, we talk about being awake, but I feel like in this day and time, it's, we're being called to go deeper. Example. I lived in Florida 35 years, and we didn't talk about the weather every day like they do in California, <laugh> <laugh> wearing a coat jacket. But we you know, we, and they have hurricanes. I understand. I haven't been in one yet of any magnitude. I hope I don't, but you didn't usually know that was coming, but hurricanes you did. And Mm-Hmm. And so we had huge tragedy in Fort Myers. And, and people would ask me, do you, do you have a home there? And I go, no. And they go, oh, that's so great. I'm so glad to hear that. And I'm like, but that doesn't excuse me.
(47:02):
No.
(47:02):
Because what I know, and I'm, I'm so sorry that tragic thing happened. I'm so sorry that people are without a home. But what I mean by being awake and going deeper, I'm gonna ask myself, how many people have a physical home and have never felt home? Hmm. How many young people don't feel at home that are taking their lives. Right? So there's a bigger call about why do people not feel at home? Because if you feel at home, it means you're comfortable. It's like the old Rockwell, you're safe. Things that people, you feel safe, you don't feel threatened, you're not insecure. You've got your feet up. You feel at home. And Right. I do feel in awareness that we are needing, we're wanting to be birthed out of this revolution or whatever we're in, because we went through a few years of just constantly hearing how we're, we're different colors and we're divided.
(48:13):
Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And so we're not on the same page, and we're not in the same book. And you're that, and you're stupid, and you're that. It's just like, whoa. And then we entered into Covid that you could kiss me and I could die. And so now I'm afraid of you. So I'm, I was divided, and now I'm afraid because the very nature of my exchange to you or you coughing on me or being too close to me or being in my aura, so I'm not gonna hug you. So we are now coming out of all that of how to play in the sandbox again, how to be connected at a deeper level and how to feel home with each other. But I don't think we can just rush through those two elements. We need to look at our own lives. Where do I not feel at home? Where did I feel divided? And how did I become afraid of, of, of something? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative> that's now long since over. And, and evaluate all that. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And I feel that answer, those answers are gonna bring the Gen X and the next levels of great leaders in our society. And it's exciting. It is. But like you, and that's why I enjoy talking to you, the very being with you. See, I have hope.
(49:42):
I have hope because I don't wanna sit around and talk to people about how crazy the world is, because I'm the world <laugh>. Yeah. Talking about <inaudible>, you know, I don't wanna sit around talking about blah, blah, blah. You know, it's like, it's the, you know, my teacher always said, you know, you can average people are the best of the worst and the worst of the best. I don't wanna be average. I, I feel like what you said when we first started within you as a human being within you, meaning collective you, meaning all of you that are missing, you have a tremendous call to be what is there and what is troubling you. Mm-Hmm. The very thing you think is in your way is the way for you to work with it, discover the answer of it, and then to offer the solution to others. Because whatever you are going through, so are 40 million other people, help them. Beautiful.
(50:45):
Mm-Hmm.
(50:45):
By helping yourself and realize that you are going through it so you can offer the solutions to the world. It's not, I'm here to offer solutions to the world, but I have problems. We always will. If you're human <laugh>. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>.
(51:04):
So I love that. Whatever's in your way is the way, and that's what your gift is.
(51:10):
Yep. So
(51:11):
There's the mic drop. Woohoo. <Laugh>. Woohoo. Love it. Jimbo did a mic drop right there, <laugh>. Oh,
(51:20):
You're
(51:20):
Just awesome. I love it. So thank you for this wonderful conversation. You know, if I were in California with you, with my little straw on, too we'd be exchanging some hot teas and toasting. Oh, we would be <laugh>. Yeah. And I'll be in California later this year. I took up a standup comedy this year, and so I'll be performing around the, the city, the different cities. So I'll keep you posted. It's gonna be funny. Please
(51:46):
Keep me posted. I'll come.
(51:48):
Yeah. It's gonna be so much
(51:50):
Fun. It's something you wanna do with our audience here in community in Santa Barbara. You can do that. Let me know. I'd love to have you.
(51:57):
Yeah. And if you're on tour, if you anything, we're, we're always supporting you here from Bonfire and, and our community here in the Houston area. And so everyone take note, and this is in your show notes too. We're gonna put that, that video that you mentioned earlier in our episode to tonight on that, your interview with Arun. I wanna put that in the show notes Yeah. As well. And make note that you're gonna follow Temple Hayes, H-A-Y-E-S. And she has an amazing YouTube channel, but also she's on LinkedIn Live. And so if you follow her on LinkedIn, you'll see her every week doing a LinkedIn live. She's so courageous. <Laugh> <laugh>. And and then do dive into the wisdom of all of her books temple Hayes. Just make the collection, get 'em all, you'll, you'll love yourself for doing it. And we're first leaders of ourselves, then we're the ability to lead others. Thank you so much for all your wisdom here today, temple. It's, it's always a joy.
(52:59):
Thank you so much.
(53:01):
Yeah. Until next time.
(53:03):
Until next time.
(53:05):
See you.