Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness

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The most critical Emotional Intelligence (EQ) competency area is Self-Awareness; it is the foundation for succeeding in all of the other competencies.

While it is easy to focus on competencies that seem like they'll give us quicker results, such as Influence or Conflict Management, without Emotional Self-Awareness we can only scratch the surface of our full potential. This is the skill that requires the most patience and honesty, and provides the best foundation for further developing Emotional and Social Intelligence in both work and life situations.

Emotional intelligence requires self-control to ensure that you relate and react to people in a way that maximizes your goals. If you’re self-aware, you always know how you feel and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you.

The essential first step in maximizing Self-Awareness is understanding and building a thorough knowledge of your:

• Your strengths.

• Your development needs.

• Your feelings.

• Your values.

• Your interests.

• Your triggers.

• Other information that makes up who you are at your core.

Self-Awareness Competencies

Do I accurately perceive and understand my emotions?

• Emotional Self-Awareness

  • Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact

  • The ability to know yourself and understand your feelings

• Accurate Self-Assessment

  • Knowing one’s strengths and limits

  • Understanding your strengths and weaknesses and their effects

• Self-Confidence

  • A sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities

  • Having faith in yourself and being willing to put yourself forward

Improving Self-Awareness

What can I do to improve my self-awareness?

• Know Thyself:

  • See yourself for who you are (what do you think and feel).

  • Watch your emotions like a hawk. Even the physiological signs which include:

    • Thoughts speed up,

    • Mind goes blank,

    • Feeling hot,

    • Feeling numb,

    • Heart beats increase,

    • Muscle tension,

    • Tunnel vision,

    • Tightness in throat,

    • Tingling, trembling or shaking

• Track & backtrack your emotions in a difficult conversation or meeting.

  • Learn your tendencies in emotionally arousing situations.

• Own your actions and take full responsibility for what you say and do.

• Keep a journal:

  • Journals help you improve your self-awareness.

  • If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

• Slow down:

  • When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why.

  • Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it.

• Practice Mindfulness:

  • Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment—and without judgment.

  • Mindfulness helps shift your preoccupation with thought toward an appreciation of the moment, your physical and emotional sensations, and brings a larger perspective on life.

  • Mindfulness calms and focuses you, making you more self-aware in the process.

Emotional Self-Awareness isn’t something that you achieve once. Every moment is an opportunity to be self-aware or not. It is a continual endeavor, a conscious choice to be self-aware. The good news is that the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.