I met a meditation teacher once who told me something that blew my mind. He was telling me about the group classes he offered and that he was used to hearing that people didn’t think they could sit still for an hour and participate. But, in fact, he explained, meditating in a group could be easier and more powerful than one experiences alone; everyone feeds off of each other’s energy.
That struck me as fascinating…and something I’d never considered.
Of course, I knew this concept to hold true for my workouts; going to a class or working out with a trainer was always much more effective than half-heartedly following along with a pilates video in my living room. I’d never thought about how that same idea is true for all of the other areas of my life as well.
Whenever we do things together, it’s like our abilities multiply. We can have more courage in a group, we can experience more laughter with others than alone, we can experience more joy in celebrating our achievements in life. And when times are hard, we can receive other people’s empathy to feel supported, and we can receive other people’s love and strength to remind us who we are when we need it most.
Please don’t misinterpret, it’s not that we require people to feel joy, love and courage, etc., we simply have the ability to experience more of the power of our emotions when we share those with other people.
What’s the first thing you want to do when you get incredible news? You want to tell someone right? Cause we love to celebrate with others, it makes the experience even more rewarding.
There’s a well known saying from Jim Rohn that goes, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” which affects us whether we’re actively or passively pursuing who falls into those five spots. This relates to the idea of enhancing our emotions because the five people in our lives with whom we spend the most time might hold beliefs and habits that are limiting, counterproductive, negative, mediocre, fearful, or something else that doesn’t support our growth. So even that below-the-line energy can be enhanced, and can leak into our own lives as well. Then, consciously or subconsciously, we start to play that negative program.
We can soar higher, faster with a group, but we have to be careful of who we choose to be in our direct circle of influence.
When I really woke up on my journey and decided to make some big changes in my life, the first thing I did was think about who was in my list of five people and how they were affecting me. I realized I had been very passive about bringing people into my circle of influence who were positive, supportive, growth-minded and more successful than me. My list was sort of flimsy, comprised of people who were fear based, or who just didn’t have any interest in going for bigger dreams. Some people don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with that, the challenge with that for me was I didn’t have people around me who I could discuss my bigger dreams with and truly feel supported by people who understood me.
I didn’t know how to connect with people who were more successful than me, and I wanted to learn from them and be in their proximity to feel encouraged to take greater leaps and keep stepping beyond my comfort zone. I wanted to up-level my life, to really feel like I was using my fullest potential, to serve people with my gifts, to create more wealth and freedom in my life, to contribute to the world in a greater way. The only way I knew to access people I greatly admired was through their podcasts, and I started consuming episodes like oxygen; I would listen to 6+ hours of them a day, while I was starting my day, running errands, working, cooking, walking, driving, and anytime I could squeeze them into the cracks of my time.
I also read books and articles of people who inspired me, poring over their words to nourish my soul and feel more connected to the purpose I was trying to uncover in my life.
All of the studying and listening and learning got to a point where I’d heard enough, I needed to take more action and connect with people in real life, face-to-face, and in an engaging way, not as an audience member of another person’s conference.
I found myself on the couch one day and “life coach” popped into my mind. I didn’t know anything about what it meant to work with a life coach and how much it would cost. Would it really be for me? My curiosity lead me to Yelp, which lead me to tinamarie.com , and I thought, “Ah, what the heck, let me see what this is all about.” A meeting later I was a client, working with Tina Marie as my coach. And through our sessions, I was not only learning more about myself than ever before, I was doing the work to get beyond mediocre and the comfort zone.
This also lead me to forming the empowering group I was searching for: supportive, authentic, courageous and growth-minded women with whom I could have meaningful conversations. I am grateful everyday for all of the wonderful people in my life, and am especially blessed to have people who I can be completely unfiltered with when I’m having a really tough day, who will listen and empathize, and strategize with me! I have strong relationships with people who cheer me on, and encourage me to continue growing and reaching for my dreams. And I also get to support others through the turbulence of their own journeys, and see them achieve goals that were only ideas at one point in time.
I’m sharing this because community is a game changer, and it’s one of the key elements of the Bonfire Coaching program. It brings us coaches joy to see our clients connect with and support one another in our monthly events. We hold so much belief in the power of groups that we built it into the private coaching program, so each person has a shortcut to finding
those likeminded people.
If you’re looking for your own community or tribe of supportive friends, declare specifically what you’re wanting in a group. Write down your ideal types of people that would make your top 5 list. And, be honest with yourself, are you passively or actively filling those spots? Where are three places you could go right now that would allow you to engage with those
people? Start seeing those people as your potential friends and be willing to
put yourself out there.
If you already have a group you love, is there anything you could do to enhance the emotions/energy you’re wanting to create? There’s power in numbers, so whatever you’re looking for, try creating it with other people.